Can I trust him? plz help =(

[kadd21]

I have a question for you males about my relationship with my boyfriend of a little over a year or so. Im so paranoid of him cheating, he's been honest with me from the beginning about how many girls he has slept with and he says that he is over that stage in his life and just wants one girl. I believed him until he accidently left his email open and i looked through his messages (sorry i know) and found a message from this girl that said that she was pregnant and they should have been more cautious. When I asked him about the email he told me that the girl had relations with his friend and that was meant for him (his friend doesnt use computers at all) I of course didnt believe him and i was right because the girl called me and told me that my boyfriend told her to lie to me that she was supposed to say she has sex with his friend, but she decided to tell me the truth and said she meant it for him. When i told him this he told me that he was sorry and that he did lie and that they did hang out him and his friend and her and she did come on to him and she kissed him and that was it, because his friend stopped him (we share the same friend) and the girl got angry and ever since then shes been trying to break us up because she likes me. This is such a lame story but of course im in love ad wanted to believe him and give him the benefit of the doubt. Stupid me?

I've found multiple convos with girls (dirty ones) after i called him out on all of this he says he is really sorry for hurting me, cryed on my arm and told me how he cants even explain the love he has for it, if he can paint a picture of it he wouldnt even know where to start blah blah blah. He already has problems telling me he loves me he isnt the type of person to just come out and say that. I feel like he is really sorry for what he has done (deep down inside i know he probably did cheat) and i do believe he feels bad. Then the source of all problems facebook his ex gf gets it and they are friends on it and he hates her. But why be friends? He also doesnt have me listed as in a relationship with me, he used to in the beginning.

I feel like im wasting me time, i dont want to constantly be paranoid about him cheating. I dont know if i can trust him, i really love him. What do you think...once a cheater always a cheater? once a ladies man always a ladies man?

His family loves me and i feel like its hard for him to let go of me for that reason and because i do take care of him. I dont want to feel used. We are with eachother almost everyday


sorry for it being so long.. thanks for the advice i really appreciate it.

[Wiredbomb0]

From the sounds of it, it seems that guy is a cheater and liar, and you deserve someone who you can trust more. If he can't have you listed as in a relationship on his facebook page, then that really says alot doesn't it?

If the girl explained everything to you, do you want to be around a person who has cheated before and therefore, more likely to cheat again?

If you can't trust them, then I'd recommend you find someone else you can trust.

Wishing you the best of luck

-Wired

[sookie6]

It seems the relationship is more hassle that happiness to you.

I think he is not the right guy for you.

Do not waste your time. There are plenty of guys out there who will be more trustworthy.

His family likes you but whatever happens they will always take side with him not you...so sail away and find someone grounded.

[cerberus]

he says he is really sorry for hurting me, cryed on my arm and told me how he cants even explain the love

I feel like im wasting me time,

i do take care of him. I dont want to feel used. We are with eachother almost everyday

what would be the point of always telling "i am sorry"?
to err is human,.......
once is very good,
twice is good,
three times is fair and .......
always is not acceptible.
do you really want him? love?
so...... it is up to you. face the fact to live within your dreams but not expectations.
people change... but not all.

[dewilliams2]

Yea he hasn't learned to be with one woman. I'd get out if I were you...I don't believe once a cheater always a cheater...mistakes happen and they can hurt, I'll be willing to forgive...but he sounds like he hasn't learned his lesson...so you should educate him.

[SirWagginston]

No, you can't trust him.

[Lite]

Wait, you caught him lying and cheating and covering up the fact that he got another woman pregnant with more lies... And you're here asking us if you can trust him?

I think you already know the answer to that, and I'm pretty sure you already know what you need to do in regards to this relationship.

But just in case you don't. No, you can't, and you should dump his ass as soon as possible. He's sleeping around with others, being shady, and he's putting your health at risk with his behavior. No, he doesn't love you. No, he doesn't respect you. Yes, you should run the hell away screaming.

[iateyourcookie]

If you forgive him, he'll probably do it again. Save yourself more heartbreak and break it off with him. He has to worry about the future of the baby now, you don't. Good luck and be strong.

[kadd21]

I Know, i know......thanks. I just have to hear it from someone else rather then just me. I dont like to tell my friends or family my business like that. Thank you

We just had a little fight the other day, he told me that he loves me but isnt inlove with me like how I am...he called me obsessed with him (haha). He doesnt want to just give up on our relationship because we have been together for over a year...so why hold on to me? i dont get it.....i feel like im being used. He said he misses how it used to be in the beginning where he can chill with his friends and go out and "do him"
When guyes say "and do me" that definitely means more than just hanging out with his buddies. I told him we're breaking up and better off apart for now and he like unbroke up with me and he said "No we're not"

Why is this sooo hard.

[cmacattack1]

Wow, his crying acts to stimulate some sympathy after he was the one that is wrong?

The fact that he is trying to weasel out of being responsible for his actions makes me sick. Because I did that same thing. Not the cheating part, the facing that I was a selfish, manipulative douchebag (with the best intentions of course).

Letting him hang around will be rewarding him for his misdeeds. And the fact that he is acknowledging that he doesn't feel the same way about you and still you continue to chug along thinking he will change is MADDENING. Don't end up like my relationships. Your gut is telling you otherwise, we are telling you not to continue, what more do you need?

I know you love him and it will hurt you as much as it will hurt him, but it has to be done for your sakes. He could learn from this, as will you. If you are worried that he might be the one, you may have a point there. He could be the one but he isn't now. He's selfish and immature and manipulative. The longer you stay with him the less trust you will have in the future in other people.

You gotta bite the bullet here and give him the heave ho. Post again when he goes through the begging stages.

[Incognito]

I told him we're breaking up and better off apart for now and he like unbroke up with me and he said "No we're not"
Why is this sooo hard.

Ok, either you two are younger than I originally thought or you need to have the police accompany you when you collect your things from the house. Saying that "we're not broken up" either shows his extreme immaturity or it points to someone who is obsessive and dangerous. I'm not sure who owns the living space, but you may want to have a few friends (or police) there when you (or he) moves out. I'm glad to see that you found out about this and are getting rid of this guy. I'm especially glad that you didn't end up pregnant like the other girl because I doubt this guy will ever be a good husband or father.