Constructive Criticism

[Syph]

Hello,

I've hit a rough spot again, my first date ever has shunned me completely. I'm fine with that (honestly) but I want to know why.

A bit of background: We had a good first date, she seemed quite nervous, I got her to laugh, put my arm round her a few times when she said she was cold etc. I even hugged her at the end.

I didn't want to seem needy so I maintained text contact every 2 days or so. Nothing in the texts indicated what would happen next. I tried to call her one of the days to arrange a second date. Over the next two days I tried to call her another three times.

I checked her facebook and saw a status update that read "will you just leave me alone, ok, thanks" she didn't even elaborate to her friends. I expected the worst and knew to stop contacting her.

What seem to be the motives for her shunning me?

I don't want to do this again so any criticism that will help me I will be very grateful for.

[sookie6]

Dera Syph,
from the whole story I did not think you did anything wrong.

She is the one who should have been straightforward to you as soon as she knew she was not interested.

It's easy enough to tell someone 'look I don't feel that little sparkle that makes me want to have a seconde date'...

But her update on ****ing Facebook makes me think she is very immature and careless.

You are not the first person to be shunned. Dating is like a game...you should not take it too seriously before you actually share a first kiss and more...

You are probably taking this to heart because she was your first date. Also I am wondering did she reply to all the texts you sent her???

The only thing that maybe would annoy me on a first date would be you putting your arms around me and hugging...but if you've known her a long time before the date (I mean if she is a fellow student or a work colleague) then I suppose it's not so bad.

First and second dates you're still walking on eggs so I would suggest you let her do the touching. When a woman likes a guy she would generally sends the right signals like leaning on his shoulder, holding his arms...etc

You should be happy you got your first dates. Please remember that from dating to relationships there is a looooooooooong way...

Take care

[Syph]

You are probably taking this to heart because she was your first date. Also I am wondering did she reply to all the texts you sent her???

Most of them until the day before I called her. I even wished her a Happy Valentines in one of them. She replied to that message in the way I would expect from someone who wanted a second date.

The only thing that maybe would annoy me on a first date would be you putting your arms around me and hugging...but if you've known her a long time before the date (I mean if she is a fellow student or a work colleague) then I suppose it's not so bad.

Point taken, no goodbye hugs then.

First and second dates you're still walking on eggs so I would suggest you let her do the touching. When a woman likes a guy she would generally sends the right signals like leaning on his shoulder, holding his arms...etc

You should be happy you got your first dates. Please remember that from dating to relationships there is a looooooooooong way...

Take care

Thanks,

[dewilliams2]

Don't worry about it...you really didn't do anything wrong as I can tell...for whatever reason she just doesn't like you...it happens....and don't worry about the hug...I think that varies on the person...generally it is an indication of how the night went...if you get a hug it usually means your gonna be a friend...but in this case I'd ditch her...don't even try to text or call.