The solution to players

[firefly_86]

Anti-Player Logic - How do we not get played?
This is an important topic to discuss and I'd really like feedback . Thanks!

OK, so how many of you out there would love to be in a committed relationship, but you keep getting burned by players? Yes, it has happened to most of us. But the reason why so many people are able to become players is because their victims let them get too close, too soon.

However, if all of us united, and forced players to show us respect by being friends first... then most of those lying players would be out of business. Right!

So here are the rules:
1) Consider waiting until marriage for sex (it worked for many healthy relationships in the last 2000 years, why are we so desperate and impatient today?)
2) If rule 1 is too strict, then please be platonic friends for least six months before dating. (hang out in social groups, never 1 on 1)
3) If you start seeing someone, whose past you are not sure about, then check them out with a little research. (See if they are listed on player websites or are frequently using dating websites behind your back. This info is easy to find with google searches or on their computer internet history)

(Note 1: For those of you who may say this is an invasion of privacy, I reply that those who lie and cheat do not deserve to get away with it. So, if you check on someone once or twice and find nothing then there will be no need to keep looking. No problem.)

(Note 2: For those of you who say six months is too long to wait.... I say what is wrong with people being friends for a while? If people go out in groups, and enjoy fun activities, then this is a perfect way to see if you are compatible with someone or not. In the old days people showed each other respect by talking, getting to know each other etc. If people are in a rush to hook-up it usually means they don't respect you and just want to use you... )

This waiting/check-up technique really can work, most players are not patient enough to wait around for 6 months to have sex, they will simply move on to the next victim (saving you the betrayal and heartache). On the other hand, an honest "stand-up" person will have no problems being friends for six months or more, especially if they respect you and are looking for true love. Anti-player logic dictates that "If they won't wait, they're not your mate!"

Please Note: As a very happily married person, I did not post this as MY method to overcome player abuses, but as words of wisdom for younger women out there who keep getting hurt over and over again. I see so many girls in my own community rush too fast into intimate relationships, only to be lied to, cheated on, have their self-esteem crushed. I am only offering a possible solution to a growing problem, be friends first, see if someone respects you before you sleep with them. I really didn't think this was such a radical idea? Its only common sense really...

[starbuck]

So the rules are basically: give the guy blue balls, lead him on for six months with no hope of even the slightest romantic interest, run a background check on him rather than trusting your own gut, and completely invading his privacy?

Welcome to single for life.

[SirWagginston]

Yeah, I can understand your dislike of players, but what your advocating would weed out most nice guys, too. We get blue balls the worst because during those first six months, we'll be thinking about you, and be unable to get sex anywhere else. A player, on the other hand, would just **** other girls until you were ready to give it up.

[Illusional]

is this forum "really" for the ladies?? c'mon now, who are you kidding.

raverboy

[firefly_86]

OK so what is wrong with people being friends for six months??? If people go out in groups, and enjoy fun activities, then this is a perfect way to see if you are compatible with someone or not. People today seem to think they are entitled to instant sex, no they are not! In the old days men showed a woman respect by talking to her, getting to know her, and not man-handling her until he got excited. If you get excited simply in the presence of a woman, then its not her job to get you off, its yours! If you are really worried about "blue balls" then go somewhere private and do what men do... but do not expect some woman you barely know to be responsible for that! So what else ya got to add...

[vashti]

I would like to add that I like to be man-handled.

[Asip4u]

OK so what is wrong with people being friends for six months??? If people go out in groups, and enjoy fun activities, then this is a perfect way to see if you are compatible with someone or not. People today seem to think they are entitled to instant sex, no they are not! In the old days men showed a woman respect by talking to her, getting to know her, and not man-handling her until he got excited. If you get excited simply in the presence of a woman, then its not her job to get you off, its yours! If you are really worried about "blue balls" then go somewhere private and do what men do... but do not expect some woman you barely know to be responsible for that! So what else ya got to add...

Sure...like we're not sex starved enough. In old days men died at like 50..YOu know why? Cause they didn't have sexXX!lol I say do it as much as you can cause you only live once. Forget about this wait till marriage nonsense.

[TheWizard]

I think you can't lump it like you just did. Times are always changing and if this works for you great! Doesn't look like you're rallying all the women here to your cause though, and really you're going to push away a lot of nicer guys too. I dunno, seems like backwards thinking to me...

[starbuck]

I'd never wait until marriage to have sex with someone. I want to test drive a potential mate. What if he has a faulty suspension or doesn't get good mileage or doesn't know when to put on the brakes?

All of your "rules" are way too extreme. Is your judge of character so bad that you'd have to resort to these measures to weed someone out?

[doppelgaenger]

The OP forgot about the players who marry women for steady pussy, lulz.

[starbuck]

In the old days men showed a woman respect by talking to her, getting to know her, and not man-handling her until he got excited.

In the "old days", a man would basically go to a woman's family and "buy" her hand in marriage. She often had little choice in the matter. Or marriage was a socio-political transaction to secure land.

[Sixpacj]

OMG, this post is wrong in so many ways it is not even funny.

It screams "I feel so INFERIOR to men, no SELF-RESPECTING MAN would ever be interested in me for more than my pussy, I have to resort to stupid power games cause it is the only way I WILL FEEL GOOD ENOUGH ABOUT MYSELF."

6 months "friendship" before "dating"??? Wait with sex until after marriage??? ;-) Check his phone????????

I think you have serious issues and should seek professional help.

[Sixpacj]

PS: check out posts by user Grkscorp, he used to address your exact issue here, I don't think he posts here anymore but his older posts are pure gold.

[Illusional]

I would like to add that I like to be man-handled.

am i manly enough to fit this description??

raverboy

[SirWagginston]

OK so what is wrong with people being friends for six months??? If people go out in groups, and enjoy fun activities, then this is a perfect way to see if you are compatible with someone or not. People today seem to think they are entitled to instant sex, no they are not! In the old days men showed a woman respect by talking to her, getting to know her, and not man-handling her until he got excited. If you get excited simply in the presence of a woman, then its not her job to get you off, its yours! If you are really worried about "blue balls" then go somewhere private and do what men do... but do not expect some woman you barely know to be responsible for that! So what else ya got to add...

Yes, that's what I need: to look at more pornography when I should be trying to get to know you. This will be great for my social health.