Why do women get bored with kind and balanced guys?

[4dvz]

I wouldn`t like to generalize this, but I have to, according to my whole past with women and relationships.

I`m a guy who treats his girlfriend really well, I always treat my girlfriend with understanding and respect, I never shout nor get mad, I always place her in top of everything else, I would never do anything that would hurt my girlfriend`s feelings, I always concider her when I make my own choices, I even sacrifice my own interests when something I do is bothering her.

I have to add that I`m not possessive as it would certainly fit the profile I know, I don`t mind her spending her spare-time as she wills, she is free to come and go freely, assuming she`s worth my only request: To be worth my trust.

This has applied to all of my longer relationships so far, and applies to my current one as well. We`ve been together for 1,5 years and live together. During the beginning she used to value my efforts to make her smile, to get her anything she would ask from me, to treat her like my princess.
But as the time went by, I woke up to see that she no longer values none of those things I do for her or how I always try to make her happy, she regards me as granted, asks me to do stuff for her like I was her slave and always assumes me to fulfill her wishes. In general, she has stopped respecting me or concidering my feelings.

I confronted her about this, and I found out that I`m being too kind. I have got boring, I`m not interesting anymore, she doesn`t find my personality attractive anymore. She didn`t say I`m not interesting directly but it was easy to read.
Add there the fact that our sex-life has seriously decreased within last months, she rarely feels like it when I try to make the first move, and even those times that I`m succesful, they lack the kinky mood that we used to have in the beginning. I still do fancy her in every way, and when I try to be like nothing had changed, I get no response.
And in general, I`m not a boring guy. I like to extreme stuff, in every aspect of life. I`m not a quiet person, nor shy, I talk a lot and usually people concider me fun.

But my girlfriend clearly gave me the message that I`m boring. If my girlfriend was everything I described at the beginning of my post, I`d be more than happy. I would love my girlfriend to always treat me perfectly.
But apparently our relationship needs me to change my kindness towards her, I would need to start acting cold, telling her mean things that I wouldn`t like to say, altough she says them to me constantly..

It has been the same eventually in all of my longer relationships. Now I ask from you women, why? Why would you need the one that loves you the most to mistreat you occasionally to keep your attraction alive?

[kai]

I think you became a doormat. Don't be that. Be a challenge. Ignore her a little and she'll jump back on you.

[qwertz]

You need to find a balance between being nice and how you are now, and not being taken for granted. this..

I always treat my girlfriend with understanding and respect, I never shout nor get mad, I always place her in top of everything else, I would never do anything that would hurt my girlfriend`s feelings, I always concider her when I make my own choices, I even sacrifice my own interests when something I do is bothering her.

screams 'doormat'.
You shouldnt give up your own interest for her and you shouldnt *always* put her first.
Im not talking about turning into a dick, its all about finding the middle ground.

[Lulu]

I was just reading about how girls turn their men into "girly men" by doing things together that they should be doing with their girlfriends, like doing Tae Bo together, or shopping together often (just two examples) and men slowly turn into being viewed as a "friend" instead of a masculine creature. Start going out with the guys more, work out at the gym (without her), spark some intrigue in her again and she'll start to view you as masculine- then you can still be sweet and considerate- but also VERY MASCULINE- not to say that you aren't- this is just a guess- but this happens a lot more than people realize in relationships. It happened in one of mine- but he started doing his own manly things more often and less of the "girl friend" activities and I regained my feelings of desire for him and his masculinity again. Hope this helps??

[lastwish]

I don't thnk it has anything to do with being nice. I would choose a good guy over a "bad boy" any day. But maybe you two are no longer trying new things together. You must engage in fun activities with your partner to maintain your bond. But if you are already doing that it's not your problem. Love is a conscious effort. If she is taking you for granted and not doing things to please you, then it is her problem.

[SirWagginston]

Start doing crazy shit. My last roommate was usually chivalrous and kind, nearly to the point where you could start to take advantage of him, but occasionally he would throw a lit firework at his girlfriend while she was in the shower and turn the light off. Then when he went back to being chivalrous, she appreciated it way more. She's still ridiculously in love with him.

[Lulu]

I think I would like that guy quite a bit!

[Gigabitch]

Start doing crazy shit. My last roommate was usually chivalrous and kind, nearly to the point where you could start to take advantage of him, but occasionally he would throw a lit firework at his girlfriend while she was in the shower and turn the light off. Then when he went back to being chivalrous, she appreciated it way more. She's still ridiculously in love with him.

If my guy did that, I'd be furious. We have a deal about being kind and considerate toward one another.

4dvz, your relationships are out of balance. You can still be Mr. Wonderful, but you have to insist, no, DEMAND that she reciprocate. People respond to expectations. Also, what Lulu said about not doing girlfriend things with her is really good advice.

[mrz16]

Just stop being Too nice and considerate towards her. Let her chase you a bit. She too used to doing everyday things with you. Be spontaneous. Live YOUR life not hers.

[SirWagginston]

If my guy did that, I'd be furious. We have a deal about being kind and considerate toward one another.

It seems like you don't take kindness and consideration for granted, so your guy probably doesn't have to. If the girl isn't mature or conscious enough for that, though, a surprise water-balloon to the chest or barrage with an airsoft gun reminds her of how good the normal situation is.

[Gigabitch]

It seems like you don't take kindness and consideration for granted, so your guy probably doesn't have to. If the girl isn't mature or conscious enough for that, though, a surprise water-balloon to the chest or barrage with an airsoft gun reminds her of how good the normal situation is.

Any guy that pops me with an airsoft gun had better sleep with one eye open.

[qwertz]

slightly off topic, but i stabbed my ex with a fork once.

[Gigabitch]

slightly off topic, but i stabbed my ex with a fork once.

Qwerty, if you ex were standing right in front of me, I would stab him with a fork, and I've never even met the man.

[girl68]

Because it's easy really. You're a pushover and don't 'lay down the law'. Walking all over a person gets old, fast.

[4dvz]

First of all thank you for your answers. Some of you guys had good points there, which are most lilkely true.

First of all lol I haven`t turned into a girl, I refuse to shop with her etc because it takes hours. My masculinity only suffers when she is acting cold (which she does a lot) because the only way I can handle it is to try and make her happy, which of course makes her will come true every time she does that, and at the same time it makes my will not to come true. But what can I do? I just simply cannot be cold towards her, unless I would leave her.
But I know she treats me like a doormat, it doesn`t need to be pointed out.
The main question here is that why is she doing that? Why does she keep walking over me when she assumedly loves me? "It`s too easy for her"? But why doesn`t she concider my feelings at all, even tough I have told her how I feel a couple of times.
I know she loves me, she spontaneously without me giving her the lead, says it often enough. That`s why I don`t understand this at all.. is her love somehow different from mine? Obviously I quess.

But as somebody posted here, I too think that I need to start doing my own things a bit more. But there is a problem too in that aspect: 90% of my hobbies are within our house. After a hard day at work, everything that doesn`t involve my girlfriend involves my computer and my studio which is at my computer(I`m a music producer). I spend almost all of my spare time with my girlfriend or my computer, and when I`m on computer I`m kind of with my gf at the same time.
I don`t have other stuff to do, my friends are not available enough for me to just "hang" with them, like most of friends can do. So what would I do? I can`t just force myself to leave the house and walk around the city because I need to do stuff of my own lol..

Maybe she just has a wrong kind of personality for me? I mean, every time I try to take a stand for my opinions, she basically threatens to end our relationship. I can`t fight it back, it just totally shuts and breaks me down.
But she herself has said that she doesn`t mean those things..
I know that she wouldn`t have the guts to act like that if I would be different, but I am what I am. It`s really difficult for me to start changing my own personality.