Guy sending mixed signals

[OhioBuckeye]

Part of my job is filing documents and when I have to see an accountant I usually use the same accountant (bc he's cute ). He's worked there for about a years or so. We make small talk about life, etc. He never mentions a girlfriend and there aren't really any signs of one. He flirts w me here and there, there aren't any pics of one on his empty desk and he never mentioned one. Whenever I ask what he's doing over the weekend or what he did over the weekend, he never mentioned a girlfriend.

So the other day I asked him if he would like to go for coffee over the weekend. He said he is seeing someone. I said I'm sorry for asking and she's a lucky girl (he blushed when I said that). I don't know why I apologized either. I was pleasant despite getting shot down. When I was talking to one of my classmates about this earlier, she said that he may be playing to get. Or, maybe he clearly isn't interested.

Any insight would be appreciated as to if he is playing hard to get, just isn't interested or really is seeing someone.

[vashti]

^^ I read that 3 times, for the record, and still have no idea what she was trying to say.

If he says he is unavailable, then I think the best plan is to forget about him, because regardless of whether or not he is seeing someone, he clearly isn't interested in YOU for anything more than friendship.

[cmacattack1]

It's stupid to think that people at this age would still "play games" and "purposely play hard to get". Your friend is being retarded for putting that idea in your head.

Whether it's a game or not, take it as he said. He has no reason to lie to you right? He knows you are interested, and who knows how far along that might go in the future. You don't have to avoid or forget about him since it doesn't sound like you are madly in love and are revolving your world around him. I don't think it's too bad a situation.

[Lite]

Or, maybe he's just naturally friendly because you have boobs and you mistook it for romantic interest.

I'm married, but I have no photos of my wife on my desk at work. I have no photos of her in my wallet. I'm just really not big on photos, especially photos of me. But, I guess that means I don't really have a wife, and I'm just saying that to play hard to get right? Hell, I won't even let my wife do that whole "Put her purse in the cart I'm pushing to mark her territory" crap. I love my life, I have no interest in other women really, yet I'm still shockingly nice to them. I even hold doors open for them occasionally... Your friend's logic is pretty stupid, you have absolutely no reason to NOT believe him when he said he's in a relationship. Maybe he's actually gay, and doesn't have photos on his desk because he's not "OUT" at work.

Who knows why, but really there's no reason to not believe him. It's not like he's been fondling your ass or something.

[Lite]

In fact, I'm guessing he is actually gay.

[TheWizard]

Guys dont' say that unless there really into someone they are seeing or blowing you off. I love it when chicks hit on me even if she looks like she got mauled by a werewolf in the ugly tree, doesn't mean you can't socialize with them - just means for whatever reason your bait and tackle is happily spoken for OR you don't want to use your bait and tackle on that particular fish.

Guys really are simple when you boil it down. The latter there is established somewhere between 2 and 5 seconds of looking at you by the way.

Kudos to you for making the move though, all the role reversal stuff with gender doesn't seem to affect the dating game like it should IMO. You can run a company but you can't ask a guy you like out on a date because of social rules? Bah.

[OhioBuckeye]

Thanks for everyones insight. The whole concept of him being gay has crossed my mind as a few ppl brought it up.

It was a gamble on my part asking him since we see each other a few times a month and I will continue seeing him. It'll be a little awkward I think on both our parts. I don't want to avoid him though. I guess the only upside is that he knows I'm interested...if that is even an upside.

[Gigabitch]

Your friend, the one that suggested he's playing hard to get, is insane. He's seeing someone. That's it. Don't ask him out again and stop flirting with him.

[Wejusthurried]

It's fair to say that I can only answer you accurately as if I was the guy in that situation. Hard to get? WHY??? If I like a girl, I will let her know with an action, and I don't mean just flirting. I am guessing he isn't interested in you enough, or there is someone else. Whether or not he is actually seeing someone doesn't really matter.

I say, get over it. You extended and invitation to coffee, he didn't go for it. Go see who else is out there! Do some social things like volunteer for something, or join a group for whatever your interests are?

[Chupacabras]

No mixed signals, he's not into you (and probably gay with that whole "she's a lucky girl" blushing thing).

[Chupacabras]

...He said he is seeing someone...

That statement, coming out of either a man or womans mouth, stops the train in its tracks. It means, universally, that this person is not interested in any romantic contact with you... even if they're kinda flirty.

[OhioBuckeye]

I don't know why he, or anyone in general would play hard to get. Maybe he didn't know what to say and he froze? Maybe he doesn't like being approached by a girl? I'm leaning towards he is seeing someone or he's gay. The only time I see him is at work so it would be hard for him to do any kind of action w me besides flirting.