Seen something I dont like on her phone

[leeuk]

Ok, I know I was in the wrong looking at my girlfriends messages, but curosity got the better of me after she admitted kissing another boy in a club just after christmas. But I found a message where it suggest she slept with someone else after a night out and then sent that a guy a message saying she really liked. That is despite being in a relationship with me for about 18 months. We have been making plans to move in together and she always tells me how much she loves me and can't be without me. The big thing is we also have a 10 month old little boy!!!

What do I do? How can I talk to her about this??? I hate her for being unfaithful, but our plans for the future seem so good. I don't know what my next step should be.

[Petit Papillon]

Man I'm sorry... But seems that as quick as this relationship started, as quick it will end... I counted that You started to be with her 1 months into pregnancy right? I could guess... You started to be with her because she got pregnant right? then You see, You had bad luck. Seems like she's a cheater .

If I was You i wouldn't hope to have a happy relationship with her. Seems like she's a slut, I'm sorry but it looks so to me, if she can't stay faithfull to her bf and the father of her child in such a early stage of her relationship... I wouldn't expect that she won't repeat that...

Tell her about it, ok it was bad to check her phone but You did and now You know. If she blows up,tell her to not be ridiculous and put the blame on You because ****ing with some guy on a party is definately worse than checking the phone. Don't let her say 'what if...' . Tell her You had a reason to be suspicious after she told You about kissing another guy.

And it will be better for all of You if You end this relationship. For her - she can **** whoever she want, for You - You can be happy with someone else... Just Your baby is the victim here... But it's not Yours or his fault that his mother is a slut opening her legs to random guys... Just don't forget to be a good father.

[sookie6]

I feel sorry for you that you found out this backstabbing stuff on her mobile...

But it's better in the open. The whole discussion about whether you should go through her stuff or not is useless now...

Question is: what do you do?

Because you have a kid I think you should definitely stay around...or your son might be raised by some random guy and you don't want that...

Now you need to think about your options here...do you love her? is she a good mother?

You need to straigthen her up before you decide anything.

At least if you go along and move in...do not let her trick you into marriage...

I think this type of commitment is wayyyyy out the picture now...

[bkzsick0]

sookies right...forget the whole marriage thing...but here's my opinion....she IS the mother of YOUR child so you cant be too quick to drop her on her ass...but u also cant let her walk all over you and hold this child against you as a reason that you HAVE to stay around...try straighting her out...i know they say you can't turn a HO* into a housewife but thats not true....usually these girls have a lot of issues and went through a lot which makes them do the things they do..yes they all make there own desicions but something influences that kind of behavior....try to sit her down and talk to her about it...and instead of letting her tell you what the options are you tell her....Listen, heres your choices....either A. you stop being a little **ore and you step up as a mother and a faithful part of this relationship or B. you step up as a mother and a faithful part of this relationship and just **cking tell me what your doing behind my back so i can move on and the only thing thats important is our child but, as a relationship, partners, a couple, anything more then parents is dead and gone...you might not want this but itll be the most healthy thing for you and your baby...remember...think about the baby...

[Perryville]

LEE, the ONLY thing important now is the child. You will never be able to trust this woman. Do what you think is right for the kid. Don't worry about the phone snooping, she sent up the red flags, when she kissed some other man. Talk to her, but limit your conversation to the baby and his welfare. Don't get married or start living together. It's better not to start a home than to break one up.

[leeuk]

Guys, thank you so much for the advice. I'm going to think it over for the next couple of days, think of what I want to say and what's best for our boy.

[Gigabitch]

Okay, I know this probably isn't hepling, but are you DAMNED sure that boy is yours?