taking a break?

[chocco]

Hey,
I have been with my g/f for about a year n a half, we have been very close for that time, even though we live 2 hours away from eachother. She always has guys on her back from school and parties, like trying to pick her up but i no she doesnt do anything because we have been honest together and love eachother 2 much.

She recently asked if we could go on a break because she said we were young etc etc, u no just go out and have fun, i was having a tough time with University at the time.. i was sorta fine wit it but not really anyway, the day after she rang me up n asked if i had picked up anyone (which surprised me).. and when i asked her she said no.. then the next day she said she kissed him and was wit him at the time she called me.

i have also found out that she has been going to the town where he lives... like she has friends there but i got my suspisions she is going to his place every now and then...
i couldnt beleive she done that... it has me so confused.. like we had it perfect and this has turned everythin around!

Like she still wants to be together after all this, but ive never been on a break.. am i being paranoid?

well the story can go much longer but thats the bulk of it!

any feedback on that?

Thank-you!

[Jenrick285]

Sounds like she was already seeing and getting to know this guy before your break, or else why the break?
Perhaps she felt guilty and called you to see if you shackled up with someone else?
And she wants to still be together as in bf/gf thing? or we talking about sorta-kinda-in a far fetched way together type of together or just plain friends type?
Any of those are just no good...
Whenever a girl asks for a break, there's a problem, whether she feels trapped, another guy or just doesn't know if this is the relationship she wants.

Remember too, what you think of her, is that image of her when you two first got together, the She can do no harm to me image...
Take a step back and see it as if your friend was having this issue, and ask yourself if its something you want...

[cbee]

I dunno, I think you're being a bit optimistic Jenrick.

I thiknk it's her nice way of saying she wants to split up with you

[Tomek]

man it makes me sad reading storys like that ...I dont know how to advise you, but just hold on, and wish for the best

[sfalexi]

It's a "breakup" but she's trying to keep you on the hook in case it doesn't work out with the other guy. You're now a "backup" to this other dude. She won't want to get back together until either he dumps her, or she decides that she doesn't like him.

As for me, I'd stay away completely. I'd hate to know I was second prize.

Rod Steele

[chocco]

Well we r off the break now n we have broken up... she didnt know this guy... she only met him at a party.. like she told me that she kissed him n now she felt really bad and wants 2 stay like really good friends with me n maybe get bak together sumday.
Ive been so close with her n i dont know what 2 do nemore... like we will probably c eachother a lot still.. n yeh i dun wanna b a backup 4 her thats y im so confused... plus the thought of picturing her wit another guy worries me... anyone would feel like that i suppose

[kronos51]

I have had all the same feelings my friend. All I can say is it seems like maybe this is the case where she realized she doesnt want to be tied down. Or maybe she is just feeling really bad and doesnt see herself as worthy of you. These are things you have to talk about with her if you want to do anything about it that is constructive.

Yeah, it hurts knowing shes with another guy. But look at it this way: If she wants to be with you really, she will be thinking about you and not be able to stay with other guys, otherwise she probably doesnt really want to get back together with you, and it is better if you make a clean break. So really, there is no reason to worry because as long as you make your feelings clear (whatever they may be) then you should trust her to make a decision that is best for both of your futures.

Good luck

[chocco]

whats your thoughts on this... she still wants 2 stay friends n everythin.. like talk just as much as we use 2... visit as much as i use 2 and keep everythin we gave 2 eachother.. wear the rings we gave eachother etc etc etc....
like she has realized that she fuked everythin up n yeh...

any feedback??

do uz just think she doesnt wanna loose me?

[kronos51]

Hmm, well from what I have gathered here it seems that she may have just been doubting but still cares about you. My best guess is she is torn between caring about you and thinking that she shouldnt be so involved with someone at her age. I say go with it, let her work things out, but try not to get your hopes up.

[chocco]

yeh well im gonna wait 4 her 2 call me anyway... see wat she wants.. n even if she does come running bak... id say ill c how i feel about wanting her bak... the waitin game begins!!

[chocco]

well yeh does everyone think thats the right thing 2 do???

[kronos51]

I agree I think. You have to let her feel that shes doing everything on her own. It is her choice now what to do, so if she wants to get back with you she should initiate it, though I wouldnt suggest making her feel guilty or bothersome to you, cuz that might just ruin her self-esteem. Explaining your feelings is always a good idea in my opinion, so good luck

[jb5k1]

From my view of this whole situation, you are definitely in love with her, and she cares about you but shes just not sure if it's good (age, the whole location thing, many factors coudl be the reason). Think of yourself as lucky that she told you she kissed that guy and that she did feel bad about keeping it from you. I get jealous of other guys that talk to my girl on the fone and on the internet that she hasn't even met because she's just so wantable. I love her and I trust her to do whats right, and she knows that if she meets some of these guys and ****s up, that's pretty much it. I might take her back after a while but if she ****s up it just wont be the same.

Let this one ride out, play her game. I think you're on the right track but just dont make it obvious that you're so into her, cause then she can twist up the situation and use it to her advantage. I bid you good luck my friend and I hope it all works out.

[chocco]

well yeh thanx 4 the comments guys.... much appreciated!!