I met a guy off of Match.com recently, I'm 27 and he's 30, and we went out for drinks last Friday night, and ended up talking for about 5 hours! He asked me out to dinner the following Wednesday, but I already had plans with friends, so I suggested drinks after. He said that he wanted to mix it up a bit and have dinner, so he suggested that he cook me dinner the following Sunday after he gets back from a weekend of snowboarding. Is it too soon and serious for this kind of date or am I overreacting? I imagine this is more of a 4th or 5th date kind of thing... Also, he's kind of a complete stranger and I would be going over to his house, not that I sensed any kind of creepiness from him at all...
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Thread: What to think???
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21-01-10, 12:46 AM #1
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What to think???
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21-01-10, 01:01 AM #2
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It's a bit forward, but doesn't seem to be a big red flag. Everyone has their own comfort level with dating. He probably doesn't think it's a big deal because he's a guy. Or maybe he wants to get into your pants! If it's moving too fast for you, then that's the boundary you have to set. There's nothing wrong with suggesting a restaurant date. Tell him there's a new place you want to try instead.
My now-husband wanted me to go to his apartment to play with his kittens on our first date. Haha. I declined, of course...I'd never go to someone's apartment on the first date. But he turned out to be the guy I married.
The bottom line, if YOU'RE not comfortable with it, then don't do it. You can never be too careful with people you meet online.Last edited by starbuck; 21-01-10 at 01:06 AM.
“Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist”--George Carlin
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21-01-10, 01:02 AM #3
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Hmm...you have to go with your gut on this one. Are you comfortable enough to go to his house alone? I'm not sure I would be if it were me but I'm more shy and guarded. If it were me I'd probably nonchalontly suggest one more out in public meeting before going to his place.
Last edited by QueenofCorona; 21-01-10 at 01:43 AM.
So, so you think you can tell Heaven from Hell,
blue skies from pain.
Can you tell a green field from a cold steel rail?
A smile from a veil?
Do you think you can tell?
And did they get you to trade your heroes for ghosts?
Hot ashes for trees?
Hot air for a cool breeze?
Cold comfort for change?
And did you exchange a walk on part in the war for a lead role in a cage?
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21-01-10, 01:32 AM #4
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I wouldn't do it. I think there's a protocol to be followed in dating, and going to his house this early in the relationship is not part of it.
Spammer Spanker
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21-01-10, 01:59 AM #5
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Too soon for that date.
Keep your love life off Facebook, don't cheat, it's never too soon to make a move on a woman you like.
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21-01-10, 03:00 AM #6
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Yes be cautious as I think he might have sex at the back of his mind...which is fine.. I mean...God loves a trier...
I would slow things down to show some limits...if he does not respond well to a change of plans or if he withdraws afterwards then he is not after something serious...
But no need to be alarmed.
Also If you ever go to his place make sure someone knows where you are and checks on you by text in the evening...
x
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21-01-10, 03:23 AM #7
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When I invite a woman to my house for dinner, I absolutely have sex on my mind. So you need to slow things down if that's not what you want.
The secret of success is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake those, you've got it made. - Groucho Marx
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21-01-10, 03:30 AM #8
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You've been on one date and he thinks drinks on date 2 is too much? Err... ummm WTF?
I would stand firm on drinks after your friends thing. It's a safety and comfort thing.
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21-01-10, 04:10 AM #9
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lmao @ the female responses
the guy probably wants to enjoy your company and not have to pay $$$. It's much cheaper to eat at home and gives him a chance to show off his skills.
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21-01-10, 04:49 AM #10
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^ So? Suggest coffee is 3$
And honestly a guy inviting me to his house for dinner is a little to intimate for me on a second date!
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21-01-10, 04:55 AM #11
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Thats what I was going to suggest, something low key like coffee. See how you feel about him w/out alcohol around.
Originally Posted by girl68
So, so you think you can tell Heaven from Hell,
blue skies from pain.
Can you tell a green field from a cold steel rail?
A smile from a veil?
Do you think you can tell?
And did they get you to trade your heroes for ghosts?
Hot ashes for trees?
Hot air for a cool breeze?
Cold comfort for change?
And did you exchange a walk on part in the war for a lead role in a cage?
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21-01-10, 06:23 AM #12
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I'm not sure why the responses are funny to you. Originally Posted by NeoSeminole
If we gave her the advice to go to his house and she gets raped or worse, would you be laughing?“Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist”--George Carlin
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21-01-10, 06:27 AM #13
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starbuck says:
"I'm not sure why the responses are funny to you. If we gave her the advice to go to his house and she gets raped or worse, would you be laughing?"
oh right, but if she went to his house after 3-5 dates and gets raped, then it's ok? lol
either the guy is a rapist or not. If he wants to rape her, then he will regardless of how many dates they go on.
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21-01-10, 06:27 AM #14
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Because Neo takes girls home the first night which is why the second date to go home is a given... to him.
Not in our world.
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21-01-10, 06:28 AM #15
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Is it hard for you to imagine that after a few more dates she might feel much more comfortable going to his house? Or perhaps she can better judge his character after 3, 4, 5 10 dates. Originally Posted by NeoSeminole
