Kids or No Kids!

[TTWTA]

That is a big problem dating someone that already has kids. First there are things to consider, if the kids do not respect you, you can't be with their mom because she has to look out for her kids. However, if you can deal with the whole baby father drama. After all, it is what you want that really matters. Love is not everything in a relationship.

[Elle_Boogie]

F*ck everyone else dude---do whats in your heart. It sounds like you really care about the 29 year old, and if she's not forcing her kids on you as of yet, what the problem? Sure, she might want you to play a father role in their lives down the line, but thats down the line. Cross that bridge when you get there. In the meantime, be with the one you care about. Don't let others' opinions sway you.

[TheWizard]

Everyone has their own personal feelings on this, but in the end it's your feelings that matter. While you're thinking on those feelings though don't neglect the logical side of the argument which everyone else has already laid out here pretty firmly for you.

If it were me I would date the younger girl, because you and this 29 year old woman are in different stages of life. She's graduated, has or had a career and now has kids. She was ready to settle down and it fell apart, make no mistake she probably wants the comfort of settling down again in the future - and she'll need someone to provide for her and her families needs. That's where you will eventually come in...

[Junket]

F*ck everyone else dude---do whats in your heart. It sounds like you really care about the 29 year old, and if she's not forcing her kids on you as of yet, what the problem? Sure, she might want you to play a father role in their lives down the line, but thats down the line. Cross that bridge when you get there. In the meantime, be with the one you care about. Don't let others' opinions sway you.

Especially this person's.

[ra_araya]

I'm here in a very similar situation. There is that girl that I love, we both have 30, she has 2 beautiful girls, 7 and 2 years old, and so far, I don't know what is going to happen.

I will tell you, follow your heart, I am following mine, even though of the responsibility and everything that means to be a father.

Wow, I really think that I understand you.

[Elle_Boogie]

Hahaha frasbee doesn't like me.

I guess I agree with Carmen when she says, "If you really cared about her, you wouldn't eve be questioning this".

But it does seem like you care, and you're letting your friend's and family member's opinions sway you.

I repeat---follow your heart, but don't play her.

[Petit Papillon]

^Yeah follow Your heart and create another pathologic family.
Come on, age gap IS a deal here. You're actually a kiddo, to be honest. You were a teenie not long time ago. And this woman is close to be 30 yo, having two big kids. You ARE NOT ready to be a father to two kids. And You have to consider becoming one if You want a relationship with this woman. Belive or not, some day (in a near future) she will introduce You to her kids and You will be their new daddy. Are You ready? Are You ready to raise someone else's children? Cause someday You will want Your own too. And then it will be a lot. It is a lot, for a 21 yo person... You should have studies on Your head not children, moreover not even Your own children.
Leave her alone.8 months is nothing. You will get over her and she will get over You even faster.
Don't fool yourself that You're grown up enough to be with 8 or 9 year older woman AND her kids...
ah leave it...

[Junket]

Every young 20 year old guy I've spoken to regrets having kids, and these are the ones that are the biological parents.

There's no reason for a young male to have children so early anymore, you don't own a farm, and even if you did you have machinery and mexicans to tend to your fields. We had a guy in your shoes a long time ago and everyone told him (19) not to get involved with a 30 something with 2 kids. He did, he rubbed it in all of our faces, then about a year later, he came crawling back and told us how we were all right and he should've listened.

Maybe yours isn't as crazy as his was, but still, the cards aren't stacked in your favor, and you're already lookin' to bang younger, care-free vagina.

[Coco]

Why did you decide to split from her? Is it because of what your family said or something else. You never did say.

I thing you are too young to be in something so serious but if that's what you want to do... do it. I don't think you are in a bad situation with the 29 year old. She seems responsible because she hasn't exposed you to her children. You should talk to her and let her know that you are young and you are not ready for any sort of Step-dad commitment but you love spending time with her and you care about her very much. Let her know you support her decision to keep the children out of your relationship.