Friend zone escape, aftermath.

[MDBreye]

So I've went through hell to escape the dreaded friend zone, and it's safe to say I'm in a good place. Though my friend and I have taken it a bit far at first(far as in physical actions) we decided we are definitely more than just friends but she claims that we're not officially dating. Which I am totally fine with. I enjoy our time together and think a constrained relationship this early of knowing each other is detrimental to a future together. In fact, we were EXTREMELY(both naked,condom on and ready to ride) close to losing both our virginity's in the back seat of my car. I stopped multiple times to ask her if she was ok with it. She said let's just do it. But she looked a bit nervous and distressed. I was assuming was forcing herself to please me. We were both in the moment. I on the other hand didn't care as much because we were both caught up in fooling around. But I stopped us short and said it would be better if we waited. Because let's face it, having your first time in the car isn't the classiest of locations.
Would girls appreciate this? Or would the ladies find me to be the nice guy or not "man enough"? I'm afraid some other guy will make a move on her and take her virginity. She told me she thought about losing it with me, specifically. Sure it's flattering and I'm assuming she cares for me too. However, I'm very thick-headed and I'm still not sure how she feels about me as a friend rather than sexual partner. How important is virginity to girls? If she claims to have put thought into losing it with me, that's a good thing right?
But on the other hand, it sort of scares me that she would put out this easily. Of-course I love the fun and games, but I do care for her. And I would like to see where this goes. What am I to expect? Would it be fair to say she would do this sort of thing with any other guy? She claims that this(with me) was the furthest she's ever gone with a guy and anything in the past was done and long gone. But somehow it's not very comforting. I would love it if we had a relationship but not if it is dependent upon sex. We both find each other extremely attractive and the sexual tension is very high every time we're together with others.

What's the next step? I don't want to keep thinking she'll go for any other guy. But I think that is a trust issue solely on my half of the court based on recent events. Is it not?
Any input, advice, predictions would be HIGHLY appreciated.
Thanks again LF

[girl68]

Forget about her for a second- what do YOU want? Are YOU ready for sex? Are YOU ready for sex with a girl who is unsure about how she feels about you. Would you feel better losing it to your girlfriend? There's nothing wrong with wanting to be more than FWB the first time you have sex. If this is the case you need to talk about what you want.

It was very nice of you to ensure she's okay with it and respect her and all that but I think you're forgetting to think about yourself here. If she doesn't want to be official with you yet, tell her you don't want to lose your virginity to a girl who isn't your girlfriend. No harm in either of those decisions either.

[MDBreye]

Forget about her for a second- what do YOU want? Are YOU ready for sex? Are YOU ready for sex with a girl who is unsure about how she feels about you. Would you feel better losing it to your girlfriend? There's nothing wrong with wanting to be more than FWB the first time you have sex. If this is the case you need to talk about what you want.

It was very nice of you to ensure she's okay with it and respect her and all that but I think you're forgetting to think about yourself here. If she doesn't want to be official with you yet, tell her you don't want to lose your virginity to a girl who isn't your girlfriend. No harm in either of those decisions either.

That's what I needed. I don't mind losing my virginity to a girl who isnt my girlfriend, but it would be much better if she was. And we both agreed to take it slow to build the relationship. We've only been on friendly terms for a good 2 weeks. In my opinion, we're already going too fast. And we're both very young. I'll wait and see how she feels about announcing ourselves as a couple.

[girl68]

what is "very young?"

[shheadz]

I've got a couple thoughts on the matter, and I'm sure some of the ladies here will disagree.

1. Losing your virginity isn't all it's cracked up to be. There's a lot of fumbling around and awkwardness. I think a lot of young girls picture some romantic magical moment, but it's really not like that. So just do it and get it over with.

2. You should have just done it. Her nervousness probably had more to do with the thought of impending pain, uncomfortableness, plus thinking, "Okay, this is it.. finally going to do it." Really you should just get the first time done and over with so you can actually move on to enjoying the second, third, etc time.

3. Yes, she might jump to some other guy if you don't seal the deal. It's not just that she decided to lose her virginity to you, it's that she's decided it's about time to lose her virginity altogether, and you're the best candidate right now. If you don't do it for her, she might move on to a less caring guy just to get it over with.

Just my 2 cents.

[girl68]

I've got a couple thoughts on the matter, and I'm sure some of the ladies here will disagree.

1. Losing your virginity isn't all it's cracked up to be. There's a lot of fumbling around and awkwardness. I think a lot of young girls picture some romantic magical moment, but it's really not like that. So just do it and get it over with.

2. You should have just done it. Her nervousness probably had more to do with the thought of impending pain, uncomfortableness, plus thinking, "Okay, this is it.. finally going to do it." Really you should just get the first time done and over with so you can actually move on to enjoying the second, third, etc time.

3. Yes, she might jump to some other guy if you don't seal the deal. It's not just that she decided to lose her virginity to you, it's that she's decided it's about time to lose her virginity altogether, and you're the best candidate right now. If you don't do it for her, she might move on to a less caring guy just to get it over with.

Just my 2 cents.

I disagree as you suspected, however I disagree not with the big picture of of losing ones virginity that it IS going to be awkard, and not being all that you expected. However, it IS special, it WILL BE remebered so to choose the person and the moment carefully is a very wise decision. Though I would agree it isn't going to be "magical and romantic", but special and memorable is a given.

[MDBreye]

I've got a couple thoughts on the matter, and I'm sure some of the ladies here will disagree.

1. Losing your virginity isn't all it's cracked up to be. There's a lot of fumbling around and awkwardness. I think a lot of young girls picture some romantic magical moment, but it's really not like that. So just do it and get it over with.

2. You should have just done it. Her nervousness probably had more to do with the thought of impending pain, uncomfortableness, plus thinking, "Okay, this is it.. finally going to do it." Really you should just get the first time done and over with so you can actually move on to enjoying the second, third, etc time.

3. Yes, she might jump to some other guy if you don't seal the deal. It's not just that she decided to lose her virginity to you, it's that she's decided it's about time to lose her virginity altogether, and you're the best candidate right now. If you don't do it for her, she might move on to a less caring guy just to get it over with.

Just my 2 cents.

I didn't even think about it like that. #2 makes me regret not taking action. The #3 just sort of worries me. #1, I think is just for consideration of the girl.

[shheadz]

Number 3 is what happened to me when I was 16. She was ready, and wanted me to be the guy, but I wasn't ready. She ended up sleeping with a guy she worked with a couple weeks later. But my story may or may not be typical.

[MDBreye]

So if she specifically said she had me in mind, how would i initiate this again? We both agreed to take it slow, but I'm thinking about taking her out again next Friday and setting the mood like I did yesterday night. (park somewhere dark, put on the r&b playlist i made for this purpose, and foreplay). I was ready to rock n roll last night, but seeing her covering her face and having a nervous look made me have second thoughts.
I'm at a crossroads here. But it's not it's a race for her virginity.

[Heratriumphant]

OP I'm going to ask the same question I asked in your last thread about this girl.

Is this relationship LEGAL where you are? What are the age of consent laws in your state?

[MDBreye]

Yes, it is a different girl. Haha, I was wise enough to take up LF's advice before. We're both freshman in college.

[Heratriumphant]

Awesome!

I'd say relax, since the girl is a virgin she obviously isn't easy. That she's thougt about losing it with you doesn't mean too much, at your age people start getting twitchy about "losing it" so they'll at least think about it with anyone they date, even if they aren't going to follow through.

If you want it to be special, slow down and date the girl for more than a few weeks and rent a hotel room, buy a bottle of wine etc...

[MDBreye]

I'm starting to think she's losing interest in me. I'm always the one to make first contact. whether it's text, IM, or the occasional call every now and then to see if she's free.
She's not a big texter either. That only does so much to help me relax. But i get different signs when I see her on weekends. She is the touchy feely type and loves to show affection. I'm starting to think I'm being used for an object of sex!
So I've erased her number from my phone to prevent any temptation to contact her. I would like it if she first initiated conversation with me every once in a while. Only time will tell how these dates are affecting our relationship as of now.

Thanks for the advice guys.

[Elle_Boogie]

Here's one thing thats always true: teenage girls are confused and their feelings change constantly. You could be obsessed with someone one week, and be into another guy the next. If you have an opportunity to be with her again, like if she hits you up, continue to pursue this. If not, f*ck her. She's clearly not sure about what or who she wants.