This is sort of a follow up from a thread I started in a different forum, I'm looking more specifically for a woman's input on it now.
The original thread is here (but you don't HAVE to read it): [URL="http://www.loveforum.net/love-advice-forum/37867-need-some-advice-one.html"]http://www.loveforum.net/love-advice-forum/37867-need-some-advice-one.html
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Important things to know if you opt not to read the other post.
- She has a BF
- Trying to express to her about my recent falling for her
- We've known each other really well about 7 months, and hang out once every week to two weeks, talk online maybe an hour or 2 every 2-3 days or text briefly within a similar timeframe.
Update:
Just wanted to follow up and say I choked a bit tonight - I'm still heavily debating telling her (that I am falling for her) because of the so many possibilities. We were flirty and she was receptive of my touching, we cooked a lunch together after going to the store and buying all the goodies and had some drinks.
As the night went on and we were on the couch indulging in our hobby I was very aware that her body position on the couch left enough room for another person between us. Typically this is what I would call a "bad sign". Having said that she didn't jostle or move when I was petting her dog that was on her lap and brushing her thighs and whatnot or otherwise moved into her space. I also made a comment about the food and playfully rested my hand on her stomach. I think it's possible she reciprocates feelings but might be trying to restrict herself so as not to invite or inadvertently start something unfaithful - which I absolutely respect, and if she insinuated I would stop. If this is the case I want her to know that I wouldn't do that as part of telling her how I feel.
I guess it wouldn't be risky if it wasn't worth it right?
Anyway, I was thinking about putting it out there in the context of me though.
As an example, tell her I need to talk with her and arrange a meet up at one of our usual spots. Tell her I've come to the realization that I've inadvertently fallen for her and just needed to tell her so that it didn't eat me up inside, and elude to the fact that she shouldn't worry about me doing anything because that's not how I am and I respect the relationship boundaries. Maybe even tell her at that end of whatever comes out (because let's face it a script? please that won't come out anything like it would mean to anyway) that she doesn't have to respond, it was really more for me and to prevent it from getting in the way of the present relationship we have.
As long as it doesn't sound too selfish of course.
I hate this situation because even though I'm capable of what I consider decent advice, my inner turmoil is skewing my judgment and I need input. Blinded by Love I guess is an applicable term, but the L word is not accurate.
As a side note I'm totally ok with her not reciprocating THAT kind of feeling. The only lose I would consider here is that she gets weird-ed out enough that we can't hang out anymore, that would be incredibly unfortunate for us both I think. I just don't want to to wonder "what if" forever, and it seems like a good way to put it in the open.
Ladies, I'm dying for your input. And Primo, I guess you can add something to.
I've heard two things on this. Tell her, and hope for the best or wait until maybe her BF and her call it quits and move in later. Normally I would go with Number 2, but this is so sudden and overwhelming I need to squash it one way or the other I think.