Told her I'm a virgin

[blade16]

I've been friends with this girl for about a year. (she has a boyfriend)
I know her pretty well and we also talk about personal stuff.
In a message I asked her that if she dated a guy, would it matter if he's still a virgin. Because I wanted a girls pov she is the only one I told this, also mentioned that. I'm pretty sure she's not a virgin.
I sent it about a week ago and she hasn't replied yet even though she's been online and has time.
Is something like that too personal to ask or a big turn off for girls?
I'm not sure what to do now.
Maybe she misunderstood me and thought I talked about me dating her.
Should I wait for her to contact me or send her a new message and apologise if it was too personal or maybe misunderstood me?
Thanks.

(we used to share some classes, but not anymore so I'm not sure when I'll see her again)

[vashti]

Why don't you just send her another message and ask her if she got the first note, because you were hoping for an answer before you asked some (other) girl out.

[blade16]

I'm pretty sure she got the first one (facebook private message)
A couple of days later I sent her another message about a programme she needed without mentioning my previous question and she hasn't replied to that one either.

I didn't think it would be that big of a deal to ask something like that because in the past she would talk about how she was grossed out by some girl that was just being used for sex by one of her male roommates.

She's done things like this in the past, not replying or after a long while.
What's worse is I saw some guy post something on her wall and she replied after a couple of hours.
I don't want to send her another message if she is just ignoring me.

[vashti]

In that case, it may have nothing at all to do with the content of your message... she may just not want to have regular dialogue with you.

I'm not sure which is the worser scenario for you, sweety.

[blade16]

Thanks for your replies.
I thought about that to. Maybe she was just using me for the attention and now she doesn't need me anymore. But why would she than even hang out with me after classes and invite me to her home?
Everything seemed fine the last time I saw her.

I think I'll give her one more week and after that I'll text her just to be sure there is no misunderstanding.
If she doesn't reply to that either I'm done with her.

[Kevinr]

I am not a virgin as I was married for a while. However, I am choosing not to have sex until remarried. As I am probably a bit older than you I have found women are more interested in sex and the table has turned from when I was a younger man. Thus, this disqualifies me as a dating partner for many. One of the benefits of not pursuing sex is you can care for her without feeling double minded. In other words, both her and you might wonder if you are caring for her because you are a good guy or if are you trying to get into her pants. Not pursuing sex cleans that up.

Assuming she does have interest in you it may be that the topic is uncomfortable and so she does not want to get into it.

I hope you are able to have this situation in your life without obsessing over it. You are a valuable human being who is loved by the One that made you, Know that above all else.

[ConfusedSoul88]

no offense (to the topic creator), thats a question you ask a girl in person (if it all). When you just read that you cant see any body language to associate anything with. Isnt something like 90% of communication is non verbal?

[girl68]

Maybe she hasn't even checked her messages on fb.

I know plenty of people who log on, but don't check invites or messages.

Why don't you ask her in person if you're as close as you claim to be...

[blade16]

Thanks for all of your replies.
I was really tempted today to text her but I think I'll just wait for her to contact me. Unfortunately, I can't ask her in person because we don't live in the same town and don't have any classes right now.
Also not sure when I'll see her again, only if we would plan something or if I run into her on the way to class.

She did send me something from a facebook game we both play. (she stopped with that around the same time I sent my message, still no reply though)

I'm not saving myself for marriage, just for the right girl.
We're in college, so she probably assumed I wasn't a virgin anymore.

[TheWizard]

It's not something I would have mentioned online to a woman I wanted to get with that's for sure. From your post though it sounds like you guys are just friends and you're ok with that.

I dunno I'm a guy but I think you might have freaked her a little bit, especially if you guys don't frequently talk about sexual stuff - that kind of thing is associated with flirting most of the time.

[blade16]

She has a boyfriend so we're just friends.
I would have never mentioned it online to her if she was available.

She does talk about sexual stuff, (she does most of the talking) that's why I thought it would be ok to ask her.

[reeges]

balls in her court at this point - if she doesn't want to address it you can assume it doesn't bother her.

i would just continue as you have been, and wait to see if she acts on the message.

at this point bringing it up again will just make you seem needy.

[blade16]

She texted me to ask how I was doing and about some other stuff.
Said she would write me later on facebook, so I guess she's thinking about it.
Kinda weird that she texts me instead of just replying to my message first
(she's on her computer a lot), or she could have just given an answer in her text.
Maybe she took it way too seriously.

[girl68]

You're reading wayyyy to much into this.