Accepting I'm ugly (or at least unattractive)

[Joker]

How can I accept that I'm ugly and/or unattractive?

I'm slightly narcissistic and don't have a too negative view about myself about from obvious things that are unattractive but I try to look past. When I look in a mirror and I don't feel I look ugly unless I look bad that day for whatever reason. If I look good that day then I feel pretty good looking.

But sadly, no one else seems to agree that I'm in any way attractive or at least passable. Recently was talking to someone and they said

'you are really really really ugly. I feel sorry for you.'

and people like to rate people from one to 10 and I frequently get 2-4 (never higher).

So how can I accept that I am ugly, I know whatever view I have in my mind isn't the correct one if everyone else seems to disagree but still bothers me if someone says I am and makes me very self conscious

[SamFrmMelbourne]

Do you really judge yourself from the way you look??? And if your friends do that to you, then they are not your friends.

Look isn't everything. One is defined more by his character, his traits. That is why there are successful people who you wouldn't consider good-looking, but they've made the world a better place.

[shheadz]

The only advice I can give is to embrace it. When you think you look good in the mirror, it's not because you look any different than the day before, it's because you're in a good mood that day, and it changes how you see yourself. You'll be in a much better mood on a regular basis if you embrace your perceived flaw.

The real question is why you think it matters. Does it come down to attracting women? I can't say this enough.. It really doesn't matter. I served with a guy that was ugly as sin. I mean, his head just wasn't even shaped right. Not a good looking guy at all. BUT, he scored with women constantly.

For one, he dressed really nice. I see people all the time that aren't very attractive, or they're over weight, and they dress the part. They dress down probably because they don't feel good about themselves, and they make them look worse. Like ZZ Top says, "every girl's crazy 'bout a sharp dressed man".

Another thing is he had a pretty good body. That in itself helps any guy feel more confident, but it also attracts the ladies. Would that make you a butter face? Yeah, maybe. But I'd rather be a butter face that's getting laid, then a lonely schmuck that's sleeping alone.

Finally he had a lot of confidence. At the bars/clubs, he didn't sit around feeling sorry for himself. He got out there and talked to women. He had a good time with friends.

I'm not a great looking guy either, but I've been lucky to meet a lot of women. I've even dated more than a few girls that were out of my league. It's really all about how you carry yourself. Thankfully women are less concerned about physical appearance than guys.

[qwertz]

How can I accept that I'm ugly and/or unattractive?

I'm slightly narcissistic and don't have a too negative view about myself about from obvious things that are unattractive but I try to look past. When I look in a mirror and I don't feel I look ugly unless I look bad that day for whatever reason. If I look good that day then I feel pretty good looking.

But sadly, no one else seems to agree that I'm in any way attractive or at least passable. Recently was talking to someone and they said

'you are really really really ugly. I feel sorry for you.'and people like to rate people from one to 10 and I frequently get 2-4 (never higher).

So how can I accept that I am ugly, I know whatever view I have in my mind isn't the correct one if everyone else seems to disagree but still bothers me if someone says I am and makes me very self conscious

Someone said that to you?

I hope you made them look ugly after that comment.

[lhn]

Theres lots of us who aren't very confident in the way we look, but you are... thats a great way to be.
Like Shheadz said if you're having women troubles: I also have scored with women outside 'my league' so to speak. Not sure how lol but Shheadz has seen my ex... she's one of them. Crazy looking & great body. I must have done something right to end up with her. Personality DOES count for a ton. Confidence (im sure women on here will agree) is a huge factor.
Back to your question... u dont need to "accept your ugly"...thats crazy. Thats heading in the wrong direction.

So long as you're not a twat, confidence is the key. You have it, so keep hold of it. Why would you want to lose that? weird...

[tropigal82]

Beauty is in the eye of the beer-holder!!!

But seriously, beauty shines from within. It is true.I would rather marry an 'ugly' man with an amazing personality and a kind heart, than a 'hunky' man with a dull personality and heart of stone.

[qwertz]

^^i'd rather have the best of both worlds

[BoredGeorge]

It gets easier with time. The first step is acceptance. The next step is hating women. Then your pretty much finished the process.

[qwertz]

Oh george, that is so old.

[Joker]

lol it's not down to attracting women (well maybe a little): most women I go for people would say are out of my league but I don't believe in 'leagues' and can't help finding gorgeous women attractive and most women I've been with are extremely beautiful women.

Anyway, I've had an awful history with the girls I've dated: cheated, lied to etc and most of my happiest memories are when I was single so have kinda decided not to date anyone for a very long time and not pursue that route as it hasn't ended up well for me. I don't get why it bothers me or makes me upset, probably because it's just because we all want to be good looking but oh well..my personality is good enough to make up for my looks

[lhn]

Well than you don't have any need to post asking 'how to accept I'm ugly' do u

[Primo]

There's a cover for every pot bro. You have to find someone compatible, 'anyone' who has unrealistic expectations, no matter how good they look, will end up disappointed and alone.

[Gigabitch]

Well, who do you think is ugly yet successful and happy, joker? Plenty of examples out there. Pick one. Emulate him.

[Spring Haze]

Who the heck are these people who are so brazen to say such things? Ever think maybe their perception is off? Ignore what they say. Form an opinion of yourself independent from the judgmental gazes of other people.

[ecojeanne]

maybe people call you ugly coz you're ugly inside. i can't see anyone coming out with that statement unless you are an asshole...ya did say you were slightly narcissistic. if you are then you would think you were awesome. someone has tried to bring you down a peg or two coz you're a dick maybe? rate yourself on nice-ness as a person...where do you think you come? and where do you think others rate you?