Hi, I`m 21 years old man, live in non-english country in Europe. (apologise if something is not clear in my text).
I got a problem with my life and I really don`t know what to do and I don`t want to tell about this problem to any of my friends.
I got short and long version of it, if You read short and think maybe You can help me, plese do help and read the long one and then respond, I really need help on this one.
Short version: I got girlfriend who I like but I want to enjoy life and meet other women as long as I`m still young. I don`t want to brake up with my gf.
Long version: First about me. Until 9th grade in school I rarely talked to girls. In 10-12 grade I started to talk, begin to be not home at night (I was with my friends, had some beers, watched tv, went to pub etc), fell in love (only me, not she and I didn`t do anything to make it happen). After school I went to university. New people... I changed the way I am. NEW me begin to be. I changed myself and how I think, and who I want to be. I made no new male friends but talked to all girls in my class, made friends with them, fell in love again (one sided, again). I begin to go to parties. Begin to be who I would like to be. Begin to like myself.
In last summer I finally unexpectantly got my first girlfriend. We are together since then, almost half a year by now. We have very strong connection, we understand eachother. She loves me strongly and tells that I`m the best in any way from all others, including sex, I think, I believe him. Thing is, most of other have only seen her like a hole where it put his... Thing is, my girlfriend is 20 y old, and has had over 15 guys in she`s life, has had sex with even more guys in the past. To know this is very very distrubing for me, although I want to know about she`s past life. It has made me feel like I have been living in the closet when there was right time to make it all happen to me also. I feel like I want to also have many girls before the right one, have sex with many girls (I know the dangers), live life where I have big parties etc. I just feel like half of the „must have“ life has passed me. Today I found a picture on my girl with another guy (old pic) and I don`t know what feeling it is but I feel very shittty right now. I don`t know why...
Ok, I`ll save you from more uninteresting feelings stuff:p Problem is....I feel my current girl is very good, I think she is who I would have children with. I trust him etc. BUT I want to have „life“ what has been missing in my life, I want to have experiences, I want to have different girls, maybe for just one night...I want to have the life what my girl has had...before the right one.
It is so terrible to be feel like that, please give me some advice, who can. I don`t know what to do. I`m afraid to make a big mistake if I brake up with her.