Feel like I am getting ignored and I hate it!

[Aceflyer66]

So I know I posted something similar to this in another board, but I am feeling pretty bad about this and I thought you women might help me out.

So, first off I am a senior in College. I met a girl in early November whom I really hit it off with. Now at first everything was going fine because I didn’t want to get too attached too fast. But now, I am feeling a pretty strong connection with her, and I feel like its not getting reciprocated. We both have pretty similar personalities and I always have fun with her when we hang out. But all over winter break (this past 3 weeks) I have just been talking to her on facebook chat or texting her. Sometimes whenever I try and talk to her on facebook, I will just get one word responses like “yep” or “Nope”, when I am really looking for her to open up and talk. This makes me feel pretty bad because I feel like she is just not really interested in talking with me. Also, this always happens whenever I text her too. I can’t get any type of conversation out of her when texting.

I am heading back to college tonight, and I wanted to see if she wanted to hang out, so I call her up, but no answer. I thought she might call back, or reply in a text message, but after 2 hours and no response. I finally text her saying “Are you coming back to college tonight?” and no response. An hour later and I send just “??” and finally I get a message that just says “No”. What do you ladies think about this?

She told me that she was looking forward to hanging out with me after break is over with, but I find it hard to believe when I am just ignored like this! It’s really making me upset because I feel like she liked me a lot whenever we hung out before break, but now it just seems like she just doesn’t give a crap anymore. Also, she is graduating the spring and I am not, and she has no clue where she is going so I have a feeling that this might be part of the reason.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated!!!


Joey

[lahnnabell]

Either she's deathly afraid of looking like she's too interested in you and has tried to hang back a bit (she's hangin' WAY back though), or she's just not feeling the same connection you are.

Maybe it took some space and time for her to realize that. Maybe she has an on again, off again ex. Maybe she's just playing a game. Hard to tell what it is, but I do think you should quit contacting her. If she wants you, she'll let you know. But don't wait around for her.

[curves222]

I understand your concern and, she very well may not be that interested anymore, but she also might just not be much of a texter or chatter. I personally hate texting and avoid it when I can.

You're talking about a span of time that was just a few hours. Maybe she was busy, maybe her phone wasn't charged. There are a lot of "what ifs". It's very easy to misunderstand in a text or chat. Just mellow out and play it cool. Wait until you see her in person and see what the vibe is. If she seems friendly and happy to see you, ask her out. If she is acting "off" or uncomfortable with you, then it is time to focus on the next one.

Good luck!

[bloodtippedrose]

It sounds like she sensed a relationship coming and thats not what she wanted so shes brushing you off. OR you started getting clingy and shes all about flirting and the chase and now that you've made yourself easily attainable, she lost interest.

Im thinking the clingy one. If Im not dating a person and Im out having fun with another friend or just chilling in my dorm room I dont want to constantly be getting txts from someone saying "lets hang out" "are you there?" "what are you doing?" "why arent you answering me?"

Why don't you stop obsessing over her and play a little hard to get

[TheWizard]

I think it could be a billion things... one of which is maybe her phone was dead, broken, or otherwise incapacitated. Maybe she left it somewhere, maybe she went to bed early or was in the middle of driving.

It really doesn't matter, either way you just sent her the creep vibe when she actually picks up her phone and sees 3 or 4 messages within hours of each other - each one looking more and more insecure because you're looking for an immediate response.

You need to calm down, I would refrain from texting or calling her for a couple of days. If you keep up the mass texting she's going to freak and start thinking if it's worth it if you were doing well. Not being able to handle her not responding immediately is something every guy deals with at some point, might as well get it handled now because it's not helping you out...

Additionally anytime a woman is not being verbose about a topic (lack of details in this instance) you should stop or change the subject. Doing it over digital mediums makes it hard because if you're face to face there are other body language signals that say "go away".

If I get one word responses to my flirty texts or emails it's usually at the end of a conversation, not during unless they are at work and don't have time that second. I think you're dead in the water on this one... time to sto pand let her chase you if she's interested... which probably isn't the case.

[Aceflyer66]

Thanks everybody for the advice. I am probably just not going to try and contact her for a couple of days and see what happens. Prolly end up not being to well for me

I have a question though. One of her friends is also my close friend. I kinda want to contact her friend and just be like "does Ericka do this kind of stuff to everybody or what? Does she want me out of her life or what?" I am thinking that this might be a bad idea to ask right now because she might tell Ericka and then I might look even more creepy. But, if after a while and she hasn't talked to me, do you think I could contact her and talk about this?

[bloodtippedrose]

Even though you're tempted to talk to her friend to find out what shes thinking, I wouldn't. It comes off as another desperate attempt to reach her. And its not a matter of she may or may not tell her friend, she WILL tell her friend! The best thing would be to chill out, even ignore her a while. She'll miss the attention and if she doesn't sooner she will later when shes dating an ass that ignores her.