scared, lost, confused and broken

[Tech]

edit: removed for legal safety reasons given my unfortunate situation. Story is: my ex accused me of assaulting her when i did not. all this was at a time of uncertainty and when she was playing around with me.

[lhn]

Firstly, sorry to hear something so awful but.....
Before I can comment, can you please tell us what is was that she did which you didn't agree with? Was it something illegal?

[Nomie]

What were you arrested for if I my ask?
Secondly as you were in her place were you prevented by law to see her, I am not following when you said you were arrested for breaching a bail condition. What happened?
I know is difficult but please explain more maybe we can help you!

[Tech]

thank-you.

no, it wasnt anything illegal by law. you could say illegal by relationships on the moral and ethical grounds. she was trying to contact a guy she had a one night stand with. she is in her 30's and has 2 kids, and is divorced. if she loved me alot like she said, and we had that connection, closeness and intimacy that one can only imagine and if I am a "perfect gentleman" like she said then why do it?

this is the #1 reason why relationships go bad and fail, because of these things and she knew it.

she basically said that I assaulted her on 2 levels which was never true. on one of the counts, its weak, very weak but serious in terms of the type of assault, and the other is even if you say touched a person by the hand or accidently bumped into them, that is assault pretty much on a very low level.

as for breaching the condition she said i was trying to contact her and tried sending threats which is complete nonsense as that is not me at all and she knows it and im not stupid to break something or do something against the law and she knows this too. im a man of honesty and integrity. she never has had nice in her life until I came along. I can tell and she admitted that to me.

maybe i gave her too much freedom. i dont know but im never the one to control or argue or anything. i dont believe in such things.

[Petit Papillon]

Ok nevermind ...

[Tech]

huh? ......

[shheadz]

What a sticky situation you've found yourself in. I really hope things turn out ok for you legally.

Some people here might disagree with me, but in my experience people with a long history of trouble often times bring it on themselves. They complain about past abusive boyfriends, and then either run back to them, or run to another that's just as abusive. They complain about past drug problems, and then continue to find friends with drug habits. They complain about money problems, but keep quiting their jobs. Some people just can't get their shit together. They will always find ways to screw up their life, and will drag down anyone that's unfortunate enough to get close to them.

I can only hope you've learned a lesson here, and in the future you'll avoid women that seem to have nothing but bad things in their past.

[Tech]

well I do agree with you to some respect on that.
thing is, over here its so difficult with the way women are (no offence) and their high standards and I never get a chance. Not even a date. as with her, it seemed pretty mature, and level headed but obviously I was wrong.

for one woman to do this to someone like me, just makes no sense. this time last year we were close together and now, apart and im being taken to court. makes no sense at all.

i supported her in every way, at one point she wanted to quit her job because of the low pay but i encouraged her and talked her round to not doing that at all, and because of that she stuck and was proud of it and furthermore with my motivational talks to her, she even got a pay increase.

how many people would REALLY do what I have done for her? Answer: very few. VERY few given the way today's society is. I always put her first and never catered for me at all as I valued her. She was the queen of my world and these things arent just something I say.

[shheadz]

There's nothing you can do about it. People like that will destroy everything in their path to ensure their life continues to suck. You said her ex was an asshole. Well, there's a good chance he started off being a nice guy like you until she sucked the life out of him. She's probably going around telling people how much of an asshole you are.

There's nothing you can do but try to avoid women like this in your future. Also read the sticky post here about White Knight Syndrome.

[Tech]

indeed nothing i can do but suffer in pain for something i havent done and have my heart broken when we agreed and knew we would always be together. bunch of lies. and im in trouble.

[shheadz]

Legally I hope things work out for you. After that take some of the heart break, and turn into productivity and creativity.

[Tech]

thanks. but i dont have much faith or hope either way to be honest since women here get the upper hand always.

[shheadz]

thanks. but i dont have much faith or hope either way to be honest since women here get the upper hand always.

Such is life. You work in the music world. Why do you think there are so many songs about broken hearts?

[Tech]

no idea as thats not something i come across/do
my primary role is in IT. everything I do is not because I have to but because its my hobby. i beleive you can do anything you want as long as you can make it happen and if its a hobby, it can easily become a job

[shheadz]

ha! I work in IT also. Where are my global awards?! You must be doing something right.