Convincing Her to Go Down

[shheadz]

I only ever got like.. 3 bj's from my ex*. I never pressured her to do it even though I would have wanted more. I wouldn't pressure this girl either. I was just establishing what I could or couldn't expect. It's not a deal breaker if I don't get them all the time. But c'mon.. at least every once in a while.

* Really odd thing with my ex. She was skittish about giving them too. For one she admitted she was insecure about her performance, and she said she has a terrible gag reflex. Fair enough. Then one night we were staying at her parents house, and after they went to bed she took one of my fingers and shoved it all the way down her throat. That was a wtf moment. What happened to that terrible gag reflex? Also the few times I did get one from her was when she was drinking, and she'd suck me dry. Swallow and all. So.. haha.. I think she had a lot more experience than she was willing to admit.

[misombra]

i don't know that it takes that much skill or experience to give a blowjob.

[Moe]

LOL^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Posted on the the worst sex ever forum awhile back.
My Ex wife sucked and not literally either, I think in 13 years I got maybe 6 BJ's and they weren't much. She was like a limp noodle I tried everything with her then the we just got divorced. That was the most pleasure I think I ever got from her.
Yet the last GF she was awesome I said in another forum she was able to make me finish for 5 minutes sometimes thinking my nut was going to shoot across the room. You could be missing a lot but if she does other things good just enjoy that and be happy.

[lahnnabell]

The way I look at the skittishness is that, at least for me, giving a blow job involves being in the spot light. Sex makes us vulnerable. We are trusting that the other person will be as accepting and open to the experience as we are.

I sometimes have reservations about being on top because all of his attention is on me. My entire body is exposed and the faces I'm making. I have to force myself out of my head and just ride the feeling out (haha, literally). Some women, or maybe most, may not know themselves well enough to figure out how to do this. Many women expect that a man's reassurance and gentle coaxing will help assuage their anxieties. But in all honesty, I can imagine it'd be easy to get turned off if you had to go through those motions every time you wanted to have sex.

And shheadz, I'm sure the drinking lowered her inhibitions about oral sex. I don't advocate sex when drunk. Even if I do get horny, I don't expect much to happen when I'm drinking. Maybe some fooling around. But I never take sex that seriously when I'm drunk 'cause it usually ends up being pretty unsuccessful.

I also wonder if a woman did have a bad experience giving oral sex if it was because the man wasn't very responsive. By this I mean, some men I've been with made little noise or indication that they were enjoying what I was doing. Kind of like how so women just go all starfish in bed, and how many men claim to hate that.

[SJ Tavo]

If a woman likes to give oral, you will be able to get it whenever you want. Most women are reluctant for some reason - perhaps they don't think they do it well, they have a problem swallowing, etc....

personally, i think it depends on their age and their experience with it. I had a terrible experience when I was younger and was turned off by giving oral for years....once I hit about 28, however, it absolutely took off and now I can honestly say I have an oral fixation - much to the pleasure of my boyfriend. LOL

[shheadz]

i don't know that it takes that much skill or experience to give a blowjob.

It's doesn't. There's an old saying about blowjobs and pizza. Even when they're pretty bad.. well.. they're still pretty good. Honestly I've only ever had one really good bj in my life, but that doesn't mean I mind a girl kicking things off that way.

[shheadz]

If a woman likes to give oral, you will be able to get it whenever you want.

I'm still looking for that woman! lol.. Seriously.. I don't even want a bj from a girl if I think she's doing it out of duty or something. I want to know she likes having a d!ck in her mouth. It's not as much fun otherwise.

[lahnnabell]

I'm still looking for that woman! lol.. Seriously.. I don't even want a bj from a girl if I think she's doing it out of duty or something. I want to know she likes having a d!ck in her mouth. It's not as much fun otherwise.

Haha, same thing about guys who eat p****. Regardless of what a guy says, once he goes down there, you can tell whether or not he really enjoys it.

[flora]

There could also be a practical aspect to her not wanting to perform oral.

If you have only been together 2 weeks, are you still using condoms? Maybe she is scared of std's and doesn't want to put a condomless penis into an orifice? I know I personally won't perform oral on a guy until he has been tested, and as far as wearing a condom during a blow job? It seems like it would "suck" for both giver and receiver.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

I've only read the first page of responses, but my conclusion is lay down the ultimatum early. Do you really want a relationship with a girl that won't give you head, when there are plenty of girls equally nice, fun, smart, cool, and sweet...willing to do it?

[cmacattack1]

Hmm, I always liked doing it for my ex, I was doing it within two weeks of hanging out with her, doing that whole hot and heavy phase. I thought she enjoyed it, but once we started having sex, I would always want to go down and she would always stop me and want sex. Two minutes of sex and she would be like "Phew I'm all set, you can finish". I guess I'm wondering if I'm not as good as I thought? And she never really wanted to give me BJ's, maybe a handful, I think I asked her once just to be different and "in control" because I have never asked her before. Apparently she's happy with just sex and not mutual oral.

Also makes me wonder if that is what makes the big ones happen, is the connection you have with the guy. When we first started having sex I don't think she was impressed. As we continued to date, she was getting off in a couple minutes saying "Okay I'm done, I can't go any more". I'm not huge or skilled by any stretch of the imagination. Maybe all of her priors were drunk hookups?

[vashti]

cma - I wouldn't assume because a girl has a lot of sexual experience with multiple partners that she is enjoying it fully (orgasm). Most women need to feel a sense of connection to their partner in order to orgasm, and you just don't get that with drunk hookups, and if you are used to getting orgasms, you don't turn down the activities that will produce them.

[cmacattack1]

What am I saying, of course I know alot of her prior times were with drunk hookups and I think she had sex with them sober but never felt the way she felt with me. Or so she led me to believe. I'm kind of a self esteem issue guy, maybe she was just trying to cheer me up.

Makes me hope that the new guy she has now she doesn't connect to and send her wanting to give me another chance. Doesn't get any more selfish than that heh. But if he treats her better (very possible), she may not look back or care if she doesn't have the same.