Desperate for an advice *sighs* its a long distance thing

[nightshades~]

I'm here because I'm losing my mind and I cant stop crying, and I pray hopefully that someone will lead me to the right way..

So the story is I met a guy who is younger than me in 3 years and 10 months (that was around 4 years ago). We fell in love online, I'm from Syria he is From US (North Carolina)..

We shared everything together, laughters, tears, pain and joy we worked hard to meet and like every relationship there were the good and there were the bad times..

Time became an issue, fears started to grow and I started to doubt my feeling when all I could feel is that this relationship is never meant to be..

My mom started to fight me for wanting a guy that is younger than me who lives thousends miles away and he was so loyal...he gave it all his heart all he wanted was to see me happy...we had no money...we had nothing but each others...

Eventually last year I got a job as a web developer with a decent salary..he got a job at resturant...things started to pickup a little...but then I met a guy in work....and there everything got messed...

I loved my bf...I loved him so much and thats why I didnt lie..I told him everything...we got to suffer of hellish 8 months of confusion...I wanted us but I doubted us, while that guy at work (whom I obviously liked) was there just few steps away from me...

we started to fight...I turned into a gloomy person...my bf started to get depressed..his family wasnt much help either because they all do drugs and they would steal the money he saved from work and all this...

I left him several times..and finally we broke up.....when we broke up, I realized I dont want anyone in the world I realized all what I want is Roy....because my dreams, my joy my secrets and my life is all bound to him...

I cut all ties with the guy at work...I cut all ties with all the people who convinced me that my long distance relationship wont work...and I came back to Roy..

Sadly Roy was already gone. he doesnt want us anymore..he said he isnt happy and he knows we wont make it...he said nothing can ever make him happy again including me and he told me to forget him...

somehow I'm convinced that I'm the reason he isnt happy and so I cant stop crying...I've been crying for a whole month and I dont know how to get him back...how to convince him that I changed and that we are meant to be

he said even if we came back he isnt planing to come to Syria...he realized that his dreams are different than mine...I see now he is always sad...he said things that destroyed me...

He said that he let me once in and he never ever let anyone in but I lost it all...

its just so hard to let go...and I cant stop crying because I do love him...

Please advice

[DarkAzrael]

Pure and simple, you screwed up, it's over. There is nothing to do. You have to simply get over it and move on.

[DatAznBoy]

Pure and simple, you screwed up, it's over. There is nothing to do. You have to simply get over it and move on.

LOL blunt and to the point , but yea have to agree with DA, you sorta messed up, and since he doesnt want you anymore, you should try to forget about him too.

[nightshades~]

Sorry but I cant accept I lost him..four years cant be thrown at trash..

I will get him back and here..I will prove you that I learnt from my mistake

[Burke]

Learning from your mistake would be acknowledging that he's changed his mind about the relationship and isn't interested.

You can't make someone love you, even if they did at one point in time. Once they decide that feeling is gone, it's up to them to decide whether or not the feeling comes back.

"If you love something, set it free.."

[DarkAzrael]

Won't work... You cheated and he moved on. You threw away that four years of your life, not him. You made your bed and now you have to lie in it.

I had a girl do something similar after about four or five years with my best friend. She made my life miserable with her constant stalking, she still does... seven years after I left her.

She was so obsessed she broke into my apartment to steal pictures of women I was dating.

"You're all I have ever wanted since I was 16! It was just a mistake! If you could just forgive me everything could go back to the way it was and it will all be perfect again! I love you! I'm sorry!"

Sound familiar? I've been hearing that for the better part of a decade now. Still don't care.

At first I was bitter and angry over her cheating, then annoyed and angry over the constant pestering. Then I started feeling sorry for her. I did genuinely love her at one point in time and seeing her cry her eyes out day after day took it's toll. That gave way to more annoyance after the stalking got bad, then I stopped caring all together and I am pretty indifferent to her.

I don't love her, don't hate her, really I just ignore her. Dealing with her has just become a weekly chore that I go through the motions of half asleep.

Maybe now you can get it and spare the guy the stalking routine.

You are nothing more than a mistake to him now, a waste of four years of his life. He won't entertain wasting more time with or on you. If you have any real feelings for him at all then move on and leave him in peace to continue on with his life. No matter what you do or try to do he will never feel the same way he used to about you and nothing can make things go back to the way they were.

[nightshades~]

I wont be an stalker....all I want is to be forgiven...I didnt sleep with this guy..
we didnt even date...
It was just I got so confused to the level I broke up with Roy

[DarkAzrael]

Even if you didn't sleep with the guy you will never convince the boyfriend of that. You were dating someone else and lying to him until he found out (you confessed). You have zero credibility in his eyes. Your only option is to move on.... seriously.

[nightshades~]

oh moving on...you mean forgive myself and move on and learn from my past mistakes and all those quotes?

[DarkAzrael]

oh moving on...you mean forgive myself and move on and learn from my past mistakes and all those quotes?

More or less and add in there leave the poor guy alone as well as it's over and you are beating a dead horse.

[nightshades~]

you just dont understand and will never will...thanks anyways

[Burke]

Right, because it's true love, and he's bound to forgive you (for cheating on him), because he's a good man and he secretly loves you still but doesn't know it or won't admit it, and he knows you didn't do it to hurt him, and he'll surely trust you again just like he did before, and everything will be perfect and amazing.

good luck with that.

[nightshades~]

I hope you're not being sarcastic Burke...and ok I lost him I admit it...but its not easy...

[nightshades~]

thanks for all your advices...we've fixed things up and we are talking again ^^;

DarkAzrael, I bet you need to learn love is forgiveness...

Anyways we didnt fix it like 100% but I called and I was crying and he got so worried we talked today and he said we can try to fix things eventually and he will stick by my side

[DarkAzrael]

thanks for all your advices...we've fixed things up and we are talking again ^^;

DarkAzrael, I bet you need to learn love is forgiveness...

Anyways we didnt fix it like 100% but I called and I was crying and he got so worried we talked today and he said we can try to fix things eventually and he will stick by my side

Good luck with that... been there, done that, threw the t-shirt away...

Flet bad for the ex, the crying took it's toll... tried to help her move on, tried to date her again, tried a lot of things, never felt the same way again, was never happy, couldn't live in the past had to move on... You're setting up the exact same thing I told you would happen earlier... congratulations!