My ex fiance and i have been going out for 2 1/2 years. She broke up with me and....

[Peter1337]

I am 20, and my ex fiance is 24. We have been going out for 2 1/2 years. We were always happy, she is my one true love. I loved her with all my heart, never cheated, never lied, was always loyal. I had a jealousy issue, anger issue, and she thought i can't be independent. She broke up with me for those reasons a week ago. She told me she wanted space, so i gave it to her. I haven't texted her or called her, always waited for her to do so. I know she has strong feelings for me. She called me and told me she hasn't done anything for 2 days straight, just stayed home and cried. She also got a high fever and gotten sick when we broke up. I have been changing myself, not being angry, not being jealous, and being independent. She knows that, since i am respecting her space, never forcing anything on her. She told me she was hugging the 2 build a bears i bought her when we were going out as pillows. So she is keeping everything i gave her. She wants to buy me a Christmas present and wants to see me tomorrow to go get it with her. She told me she is spending 50$ for my present. And she also told me "She is much more then a friend". I am taking it step by step, and i know tomorrow is a little chance to show her how much i have changed. I love her more then anything and i really want to have her back. She is my one true love, and i really want to just start a family with her. I have never felt this way about a girl to get her back. I don't know what to do tomorrow, how to act. She told me "She isnt ready to talk about it" so i told her Np just take your time. I was very polite and respectful. I really want to see her on New Years and just spend the night with her (No sex) just spend the night with her on new years, take her out to dinner, but i don't know if that's to soon since she isn't ready to talk. She isn't seeing any guys either. I want to just tell her when its 2010, to tell her how much i love her, and i just want to spend the new years with her and start out fresh with her, and be a happy couple. To start over and begin life a new. Oh i also bought her a Christmas card, more humor then anything saying; "Meet me under the mistletoe", then you open the card and it says "or under the covers, im flexible" "Merry Christmas", then i put in small letters "I'm kidding...or am i" as a joke, and i don't know if thats appropriate..any advice, help, comments? Am i doing the right thing by not calling her or texting her? Any advice on getting back to her? Any signs of her still wanting me back?

[whaywardj]

A whole week of 'no contact', huh? And in that time, you've changed. No longer jealous or angry. And independent now, too.

(And then he woke up.)

[Peter1337]

^ No, but i have changed more then i did in the past as for being anger, or jealous. Not quite all the way, but i have controlled my anger pretty well.

[Heratriumphant]

The xmas card sucks. Really, sex jokes from an ex is about as tastless and disrespectfull as it can get.

You talk about wanting to "start fresh", but that simply can not be done. The history and past hurts are always there, and ignoring them just makes it worse.

The only place you can ever start in any relationship is right here, right now and face things as they really are not how you want them to be.

You mentioned anger and jealosy issues, what have you really done about them?

What if you found out some other guy was sniffing around, could you handle it?
If you really want her back you'll focus on fixing what's wrong with you.

[Peter1337]

^ I am getting her a new Christmas card, something nice and simple like "Merry Christmas". As for the anger problem i had, i use to just get mad super easily, even when driving. So for the past couple days, when people cut me off, or give me a bad stare i usually bad mouth them, but i simply took a deep breath and ignored them, and just told myself to relax. For the jealousy issue, she just called me and we talked for a bit and she told me that "She is helping her ex bf(not me but her ex before me) clean the apartment since they are room mates because there credit score sucks so she can't afford a new apartment, which i completely trust her with. I know she doesn't love him, or anything like that. Its just 2 room mates living in the same apartment with different rooms. But anyways, she told me she was helping him clean the apartment such as dust etc, because his dad is coming to visit him for 2 days and the apartment needed cleaning, and usually when she would say something related to him, i would get bothered or mad, or just question her about negative things, but when she told me that i took a deep breath and just said "Oh thats cool", and asked her like "So u just cleaning and stuff" and we just simply talked, i have no jealousy or anger in my voice.

[shheadz]

It sounds like she still really cares about you, so you could try "cooling off" for a bit, instead of breaking up. That is, you still see each other once or twice a week while you get your sh*t together.

[Peter1337]

^ I have been proving to myself i can change....i really love her. She really is my one true love. I want to be the man she can depend on. I just don't know what to do.