She told me she loves my boyfriend

[Sallyx]

Need to know:
Before me, my boyfriend (lets say Adam) was going to ask (lets say Ashley) out. But Ashley slept with someone the night before and he decided against it

He started to go out with me

Adam and Ashley have remained friends ever since.

We split up, but afterwards I found out that Ashley had been telling Adam a lot of horrible things about me, told him to split up with me.

Anyway we got back together, and she was still his friend, and shes been all over him. Really getting on my nerves.

I was to move to uni soon, when she drunkly told me that she loves him, and he loves her, and when we split up that obviously shell let him heal before they go out, and that i wasn't to worry cause he'd be happy... ( i was really annoyed about this)

I told Adam, he asked Ashley who agreed that she said that, and Adam stopped talking to Adam. (It was outta line what she said)

Anyho, Adam and I stayed together. Yesterday, she phoned him in tears saying a guys been messing her around (I know the guy NOT TRUE)

Now, I'm really really upset and annoyed. I know Adam wouldn't cheat on me, but I know Ashley is the sort to get him drunk and to take time to worm their way into his heart.

All I want to know is: is it okay for me to be upset, or am I overreacting? Do i have a right to be unhappy?

[Heratriumphant]

Upset with who for what?

[Sallyx]

Upset with her and the situation for trying to worm her way back in again.

[Heratriumphant]

Sure, if your relationship is actually going to survive both you and your BF need to cut her out of your lives.

If your BF wants to stay friends with her then your relationship is pretty much doomed.

[Sallyx]

hmm, comforting thought.

[ds615]

That's not true.
The guy has his own brain, his own feelings, his own actions.

If Adam can be trusted, then what difference does it make? Two to tango and such.
If Adam is the sort that can't be trusted, or is weak, then you may have an issue.

On the other hand, if you have a legitimate reason to want her out of your life, you have every right to ask Adam for that.

[Sallyx]

Adam can be trusted, maybe I should ask him just not to drink with her. Ive seen him drunk and he can't control himself in any way.

[whaywardj]

Well, if your boyfriend is the sort of fellow Ashley can get drunk and worm her way into his heart, then I'd say that he's not much of a boyfriend.

[Sallyx]

no i think hes an okay boyfriend - i just think hes naive - he would take her as taking an innocent gesture

[whaywardj]

no i think hes an okay boyfriend - i just think hes naive - he would take her as taking an innocent gesture

Whaa? Are you brain dead, delusional or just in severe denial?

[starbuck]

OP, Don't you see what whaywardj is trying to say? If this other girl gets your boyfriend into a place where something happens between the two of them, your boyfriend would not be an innocent bystander but a willing participator. No one is unwillingly led astray.

He cut contact with her. Now he's letting her back in. He needs to give her a stronger message that she's not allowed back in. Why is he not doing this? My guess is that it's not naivete.

[Sallyx]

so it is okay that i feel upset about the situation

[whaywardj]

Of course it is. Look at it this way, too: Why would you want to seriously involve yourself with a man (boy) who drinks alcohol until he's out of (self) control...at all? Don't you deserve better?

[Sallyx]

well he doesn't drink much, so im okay with it.... he just told me hes moving to edinburgh, so Ashley will no longer be a problem. *happiness* thanks for the support!!