Time to get some practice asking girls out

[DoesntMatter]

I think it would be fun to take a girl out to dinner this winter break and I could also use some practice asking girls out, which is why tomorrow when I go Christmas shopping I am also going to ask some girls out.
I figure I will either stop after asking 10 girls if they all say no, or obviously stop once a girl accepts my invitation.

With that in mind, here are some of my questions.
1) What should I wear? Pretty much the only pants I have are khakis, although in quite a few different styles of khakis. I also have 1 pair of dark blue khakis. Most of my long sleeve shirts are hoodies, most of them being a plain solid color. I also have college hoodies.
2) What are some tips for approaching a girl?
3) After how much small talk do you ask a girl if she wants to go out for dinner?
4) Do you even NEED any real small talk above just a sentence or two?
5) HOW exactly do you ask her? Just straight up “You wanna go out for dinner sometime?”
6) What do you say if she tells you she has a boyfriend?
7) What do you say if she says you a creep?
8) What do you say if she politefully declines?
9) How long do you continue to chat after she accepts? Do you just get her number, make some more small talk, and leave?
10) What else should I know?

A little more. The restaurant I would take her to would be this very good Italian restaurant a couple minutes from my house. There are potentially two malls I will be shopping at. One is near my house and is pretty fuccking ghetto. The other one is on the south side and is much, much nicer. Depending on how things go I might go to the other mall just to try both ways out.

Also, I am not too good with guessing ages, but I plan on only asking girls who look 19 – 22 (I am 20), although it is obviously hard to tell. I might ask girls who might be a little older, like 23 or 24, if they look friendly enough.

I won’t come back to read this thread until tomorrow before I leave

[NeoSeminole]

you're in luck b/c I've been compiling a list of tips on how to get girls.

The Approach

never look away first. This is beta male behavior and girls aren't attracted to beta males. If a girl makes eye contact with you, hold your glance and smile. Usually they will look away and then look back if they like you.

follow these steps:

1) initiate convo with her (e.g. "how do you like your new classes?")
2) keep it brief. No more than 5 min. tops. Avoid "yes/no" questions.
3) end convo on high note. If you see an opportunity sooner than 5 min, then take it.
4) number close (e.g. "you seem pretty chill. We should hang out sometime.")

if she likes you, then she will give you her digits. If she doesn't offer her number, then walk away.

don't wait until an awkward silence to end a conversation. You always want to end things with a girl you just met on a high note so she will associate you with positive feelings. This is why you should keep the conversation brief and make your exit as soon as you see an opportunity.

some examples of things to say:

supermarket: "excuse me, I'm teaching myself how to cook and was wondering what you look for when buying __?"

bookstore: "hi, I noticed you're reading __. How do you like it so far?"

[NeoSeminole]

Asking Her Out

it's ideal to wait 3-5 days after you have gotten her number to ask her out. This saves you from looking desperate or not interested enough.

as long as you don't say verbatim to a girl "will you go out with me?" then you should be fine. Never, ever ask a girl for her permission b/c this conveys weakness. Always look for ways that make you sound confident and fun. For example, if I invite a girl out for an activity I might say "there's this awesome place [insert name] I've been meaning to check out. U down?" If I'm asking a girl out for lunch or coffee, I might say "what'cha doing later? I'm heading to [insert name] for lunch and could use a stimulating conversation."

as for activities to do with a girl, you can go for a walk around a park, play mini golf, go rock wall climbing, go jet skiing, go on a study date, check out a museum, walk around the city at night, etc. You just have to be creative. I suggest you use yahoo local to find fun things to do in your area.

find an activity that's fun and doesn't give off the vibe that you're seriously into her (e.g. rock wall climbing, the beach, a zoo, etc) and invite her to join you.

[NeoSeminole]

The Date

if she agrees to meet up, then build chemistry on your date by escalating kino and go from there. You will be able to tell if she likes you.

kino, or touch, is how we communicate our comfort level with a person through physical contact. We subconsciously pick up on kino to gauge how interested a person is. A girl that lets you into her personal space (e.g. stand close to her, put your arm around her, give her a hug) is communicating more interests than one who prefers to keep a distance between you and her. Escalating kino is a good way to build chemistry and determine if someone likes you.

just keep escalating kino during your date and then seal the deal with a kiss. Don't hesitate when you go in for a kiss. If you look nervous or like you don't know what you're doing for one moment, then your chances of success will drastically fall. Hell, I actually said "f*ck it" out load one time when I was nervous about kissing a girl and just went for it. She later told me she liked it and we ended up dating. Whatever you do, DO NOT hesitate. Anything is better than looking like you have no balls.

[NeoSeminole]

now go get some pu$$y

[vashti]

Do you own any jeans? I would wear that and a nice shirt. Khakis can be good, but often venture into the church going father world.

When asking a girl out, don't say "sometime". It's too vague.

If she calls you a creep, then just say "wow, what a bitch" and move on. If she politely declines, just smile and say lightly "you can't blame a guy for trying". This will leave the door open to future interactions, and who knows? She may have a friend she would speak favorably to about you.

I think 5 days to call a girl whose number you got is way too long. I would say to call not longer than 3 days from the time you got her number. 2-3 days is good. Longer is just plain rude unless you say something like "I'll call you on Wednesday to confirm what time I will pick you up on Thursday".

The most important thing is not to get too hung up on the rejections... it's not always about you, and they are not indicative of much more than someone you would have been wasting your time with.

Good luck, sweety.

[DoesntMatter]

OK, big question. I was under the impression I would ask the girl out to dinner upon first meeting her. Am I supposed to get her number first and then call her? I would actually feel more comfortable just asking her to dinner from the get-go, maybe because I don't like talking on phones

never look away first.

Point noted

1) initiate convo with her (e.g. "how do you like your new classes?")
2) keep it brief. No more than 5 min. tops. Avoid "yes/no" questions.

Good point

don't wait until an awkward silence to end a conversation. You always want to end things with a girl you just met on a high note so she will associate you with positive feelings. This is why you should keep the conversation brief and make your exit as soon as you see an opportunity.

Nice

Asking Her Out

it's ideal to wait 3-5 days after you have gotten her number to ask her out. This saves you from looking desperate or not interested enough.

as long as you don't say verbatim to a girl "will you go out with me?" then you should be fine. Never, ever ask a girl for her permission b/c this conveys weakness. Always look for ways that make you sound confident and fun. For example, if I invite a girl out for an activity I might say "there's this awesome place [insert name] I've been meaning to check out. U down?" If I'm asking a girl out for lunch or coffee, I might say "what'cha doing later? I'm heading to [insert name] for lunch and could use a stimulating conversation."

as for activities to do with a girl, you can go for a walk around a park, play mini golf, go rock wall climbing, go jet skiing, go on a study date, check out a museum, walk around the city at night, etc. You just have to be creative. I suggest you use yahoo local to find fun things to do in your area.

find an activity that's fun and doesn't give off the vibe that you're seriously into her (e.g. rock wall climbing, the beach, a zoo, etc) and invite her to join you.

I was going to ask her to dinner. Should I ask if she wants to go skiing instead?

I imagine that if I asked her out on the fly, dinner would be most appropriate. If I asked for her number and called her later, I take it asking her if she wanted to go skiing would be more appropriate

Do you own any jeans? I would wear that and a nice shirt. Khakis can be good, but often venture into the church going father world.

No, I don't own any jeans. But my khakis aren't all nice, some are really cargo pants and others are tighter and have a different color

[Gribble]

Don't make it into such a process. Walk up to a cute girl and be friendly. If you can coax a smile from her you can coax a number. And if you can coax a laugh you can coax a blowjob.

It's not all that hard. It doesn't require much of you. Be clean from head to toe. Wear clean clothes. Smile. You're set.

The biggest hump is getting over fear of rejection. If you can learn to roll with rejection you'll be able to bounce from one girl to the next until one says yes.

[Cbrider]

First off, you live in NY and don't own jeans? DM, sometimes man....lol.

Along the same lines Neo mentioned...leaving off on a high not is another way of saying "leave her wanting more." You may want to keep talking, but if you cut it short and leave her hanging in a nice way, it drives women wild. They have a "need to know" complex naturally, it will keep you on their mind.

[vashti]

DM - I don't know what your expendable income is like, but are you sure you want your first date to be dinner? It could be expensive. Why don't you try something less formal and less expensive, like maybe lunch or coffee? You shouldn't be breaking open the piggy bank for a girl you are just getting to know.

[Cbrider]

And if you can coax a laugh you can coax a blowjob.

Lmao, was not aware of this.....

[Gribble]

Dude. If you can make a girl laugh you can make her do anything.

[vashti]

Lmao, was not aware of this.....

Me neither!

Well, maybe Gribble can.

[Cbrider]

DM - I don't know what your expendable income is like, but are you sure you want your first date to be dinner? It could be expensive. Why don't you try something less formal and less expensive, like maybe lunch or coffee? You shouldn't be breaking open the piggy bank for a girl you are just getting to know.

I have heard more than a few girls say that a meal like dinner can be to strong of a "come on." Lunch is culturally, a much less formal meal than dinner, making it a good choice also.

Every girl will be different though. I'm glad to see you stepping up to the plate here, its been a long time coming!

[vashti]

The good thing about lunch is that if things are going well, you can easily add on other activities, but dinner tends to be a longer process.