Well Here's A Classic.

[martial_wolf]

The typical, my girlfriend has a best guy friend scenario...sort of.
To start I must say that I made a mistake, a mistake she claims she prompted, but a mistake I made. I started to get too emotionally involved with her best friend. I don't know why, but she and I just kind of clicked. I never asked for it and wasn't looking for it.

During this, I noticed that she (gf) was texting someone; all day long. Even if we were out somewhere half cuddling she was texting. She was drifting farther and farther from me. I, having realized what was happening with her friend and not happy about it at all, was trying to pull her back to me. (side note: I'm talking emotional connection, not physical.)

Well after a few months I finally decide, ok it's time to stop denying it ever happened and tell her. (even bigger mistake waiting so long) Right after I tell her that she tells me that she has been talking to a man who we will call Levi. Not so bad, except we were 18 (barely and this had been since we were 17, I found out later he'd known her for a long time) and he was 27.

The next day she informs me that she is going on a four day trip with him to another city. Her family (who she lives with still) knows where she is going but not who with. They will be staying in a cabin outside said city.

Well, I tried to be ok. Come the day though I blew up. I yelled at him, they left. I beat the shit out of anything in my path, and ended up telling my family who promptly said that her family needed to be told. Needless to say she came home, but left with him within hours to go to his hotel because he was upset.

I ended up going with them overnight because they were NOT going alone and if they stayed one night they could not pay the cancellation fee. Two days later, she tells him to hop his flight home while I'm sitting crying on her couch with her.

That was bad enough and she insist to this day that they were just friends and nothing happened or would have. If it's any indication how bad this was, I am shaking really badly right now and it was months ago.

Well, now she has discovered this new friend at work. Who looks just like Levi. They are getting to be good friends and she wants to spend time with him. Personally, I never got over the last thing and this is scaring me a little. I'm trying to be good for her...but I'm having trouble. They would be at his house...and of course she wants me nowhere near her friend. I haven't asked her but it's obvious. I have some anger management issues the results could be bad, and really it isn't any of my business.

What in the world should I do?

[vashti]

Break up with her before you hurt someone. A break will be the eventual outcome anyway (just based simply on your ages). Her behavior is provocative, and she is going down a crooked path. Don't go with her - you may end up regretting it.

[martial_wolf]

And I understand what you are saying with that. The biggest opposition for me is though, we have been together for literally four years. I don't want to just throw it away. Also, I admit that I am controlling.

But thank you, and I'm not going to just dismiss what you said.

[shheadz]

she insist to this day that they were just friends and nothing happened or would have

Yeah right. A 27 year old guy doesn't take an 18 year old girl to a secluded cabin to chit-chat. If she's naive to think they were just friends, then she'd probably be naive enough to sleep with him.

we have been together for literally four years. I don't want to just throw it away

It's already over, so there's nothing to throw away. Are her lets-go-on-vacation-together friendships with guys a new thing? Has it been that way the whole time you dated? If not, then she's scouting for a new guy, and it's time for you to look for a new girl. Like vashti said, high school romances rarely turn into life long partnerships anyway. The breakup is coming.

[martial_wolf]

Yeah it was right after that whole thing with her friend. She really checked out on me...

[starbuck]

Agreed with Vash and Sheadz. This is a pattern with your gf. She's getting right back into the same situation that almost tore you apart months ago. This girl is very selfish.

Sorry, but the outlook isn't good for the two of you right now. She must know by now how you would feel about her new friend, yet doesn't give a crap. Frankly, you deserve a much more caring girl who isn't going to blatantly disrespect your relationship like this for her own selfish needs.

[doppelgaenger]

I can't believe people put up with that shit.

[jsulley]

I can't believe people put up with that shit.

love fools... they rather be fooled again and again than to wake up and admit they are fools. it's alright though. the heart which is broken is the fool's. the pain and hurt inflicted is on the fool who willingly stays to feel it. the time that is wasted is the fool's.

[Perryville]

Dude, you STILL call this person your GF? She has had some form of relationship with two other guys, and you STILL think she's yours? You need to grow a pair and take control of your life. Dump her as soon as possible and look for a woman , who will not have other men "friends", and insist on going away with them on trips. This girl is totally disrespecting you.