made a mistake

[sexpat]

thats not what im saying at all and yes that would be creepy, im just saying that if i told her now, while is she in her current situation, she would not change her mind about joining me. (You must be stupid to think I would actually mean that. Please, find a brain on ebay...)

Nothing justifies what i did

learn to read starbucks, because you actually assumed that what I was saying is that i can mess around with whoever i want because im helping her get out of her situation.. and If thats what i meant, and if i was like that, i would have already cheated on her lots of times. She is doing her part to help this whole thing go smoothly, its not like she is incapable. We are trying our best to make this whole move go well.

but in nearly 3 years, this is the first mistake i made, but i got up and said "im sorry, i cant do this, i have a girlfriend" i think, atleast that is a bit better than the 90 million other assholes that cheat on thier wifes everyday.

I LOVE MY GIRLFRIEND< I MADE A GODDAM MISTAKE < I learnt my lesson and know now that I will never do it again.

Sometimes i think forums can be useless, its like trying to get help from a bunch of monkeys. F(_)ck i wonder about some of the members here.

[IndiReloaded]

Classic. He's the one who screwed up, and now its someone else's problem for pointing it out.

You came to the wrong forum, SEXpat. You need to go here:

[url]www.onlywhatiwantothear.com[/url]

[IndiReloaded]

but in nearly 3 years, this is the first mistake i made, but i got up and said "im sorry, i cant do this, i have a girlfriend" i think, atleast that is a bit better than the 90 million other assholes that cheat on thier wifes everyday.

Wow, you made it a whole 3 years? Kudos to you.

LOL! The more you post, the more you show what a real ass you are.

Most of those cheaters you look down on at least waited until they were actually married, some for years. You can't even match them, so you are worse, not better. You've got the jump on them, for sure for only taking 3 years.

You have a very interesting justification style.

If you are so certain that telling her won't affect her decision to move, what are you waiting for?

[falling]

point taken... i gotta give it some time though as we are in different countries at the moment, so until she is with me and we are settled, then I can give it a shot

Seems like you just want to make sure she actually goes to the country you are in. Also, I think you are just trying to justify your actions rather than take responsibility for them. Stop being selfish.. and btw, stop playing the *22 young and stupid card* you know right from wrong. At 22 you're old enough to own up to your mistakes, if you've truly 'learnt' from it then be honest with yourself and your gf. Then again, if you and your gf idea of a healthy, loving relationshit is all about secrets, lies, and cheating on one another then by all means...

[whaywardj]

Now, now, Indi. Hush your justifiably righteous umbrage, Darling. Try not to be so harsh with the lad, and try to extend to him the grace I know you own. He hasn't the wisdom of your experience, and dosen't yet know how to seek forgiveness for short-comings of character he only dimly perceives he is in possession of.

Sexpat, your missteps began at the beginning (where else?), here:

"And she just started making out with me on the dance floor, and then took me back to her apartment, her sister (my colleague) was there, but left."

"...[T]ook [you] back..."? What? Did she handcuff you and instruct the local gendarmerie to drag you to her apartment, kicking and screaming against your will?

Of course not. You chose to be led by her and to whatever she offered. Which may explain why you found yourself on some dance floor in the first place; perhaps, looking to be led away to whatever.

Anything after your first choice to be on a dance floor at all -- when you're, obviously, susceptible to following through on whatever might come of being there -- is just smoke, gas, bullsh*t, and efforts to foist upon someone else responsibility for choices you've made.

Whatever you now say, however guilty you now feel are all irrelevant. You WANTED to be led elsewhere. (Led astray, some might say.) Otherwise, you wouldn't have put yourself in a position where the odds of doing so were so loaded in that direction as they are on some dance floor, at some club, where -- it is notoriously known -- EVERYONE is looking to led somewhere out of themselves and theirs by SOMEONE...be it to their next lover or to the dealer of the latest, fashionable drug.

Until you understand and eliminate the forces within you which draw you to 'pass time' in circumstances that might endanger OTHER circumstances you THINK you prefer, you can't have those circumstances you imagine you desire...however much you believe you love them.

As to the girl, don't tell her anything until she discloses to you -- by a look in her eyes -- how much she needs you to. And when she does (if you ever get to that point with her), just tell her that you're uncertain you can survive such honesty. Then let HER guide you to just how much of you she can tolerate and continue to love.

FWIW.

[IndiReloaded]

Only Hayward could tell me to STFU in such a nice way.

I'm just cranky these days, ignore me.

[whaywardj]

Email coming, Indi. Lately, I'm struggling with a malaise that causes my mind to lurch toward sleep anytime I try to write anything. I'm showing up here in an effort to shrug it off my back.

Skiing, huh? Hmm. You've missed Utah's latest 53 inches of new powder. And you may want to re-visit [url]http://haywardpix.haywardjohnson.com[/url] for some practice. Click the twinkling star on the lapel of the graphic at the top-left of the home page.

Yours in Life.

[sexpat]

I cannot say that I thought about what would happen if i was on the dance floor, i mean you make it sound like the only people on the dance floor are either single, or looking to hook up. How can this be true? Are you saying that because I am in a relationship I cant be on a dance floor? I know this isnt what you are saying, but it just seems like that to me.

Obviously I could have said no from the beginning, I guess it was just curiousity that led me astray. Like I said before, I have only heard more about people cheating, than I have about people being faithful. I dont have much relationship experience, so I guess I was just curious and it led me to a situation that I now feel shit about, and so i should.

I know what needs to be done, and if that decision is a bad one, then I guess il learn that too the hard way.

[IndiReloaded]

Email coming, Indi. Lately, I'm struggling with a malaise that causes my mind to lurch toward sleep anytime I try to write anything. I'm showing up here in an effort to shrug it off my back.

No pressure, skip lightly across the ether. Good to see you posting.

[Only-virgins]

Hey, if your girlfriend asks why you did it just reply that you were simply catching up.

[whaywardj]

People, single or not, go to dance floors to be led out of themselves. A distraction from the mundane. The trick on any 'dance floor' is to be led out of yourself without being led away from what's important to you. You seem to still be learning that prestidigitation.

[IndiReloaded]

People, single or not, go to dance floors to be led out of themselves. A distraction from the mundane. The trick on any 'dance floor' is to be led out of yourself without being led away from what's important to you. You seem to still be learning that prestidigitation.

Great word! Had to look that one up, LOL.

[whaywardj]

Bit of a mouthful one seldom has opportunity to use, but it seemed to go well enough with "trick" in the previous paragraph...a paraphrasing I enjoy using any chance I get. Originally reputed to have been said by Oscar Wilde (or one of his characters, I forget), it went something like, "The trick in love is to fall into a woman's arms without also falling into her hands." Something you don't have to worry about with men because we haven't the mental or emotional dexterity (prestidigitation!) to be passionate and manipulative at the same time.

Another of his I like: “Men always want to be a woman’s first love. Women have a more subtle instinct: What they like is to be a man’s last romance.”

[girl68]

Really constructive, thanks.

Thing is that cos im under experienced i feel i need to "get my numbers up" however I dont feel that way anymore because I now I have realised how much i love my girlfriend

Tell your gf this. Chances are very, very slim she'll agaree.