I love my girl but I want to try new women

[Problemchild]

She's coming over right now and we're gonna talk about it.

[girl68]

I don't want to leave her, I'm perfectly content with everything about our relationship except this one little thing, and it's a physical thing.. Not an emotional thing

Bullshit. People who are happy and content in relationships do NOT feel the pull to screw other women like you do.

[Konsig]

I cheated on her once. and i told her immediately and we fought, talked about it, and she forgave me and i haven't cheated since, nothing even close, not to mention it was 5 months ago. This is the most stable relationship i've ever been in. I mean I know this is normal me feeling like this, I posted this because I just thought there would be more advice other than "dump her".

And I thought people would be nicer.

Hi Problemchild,

sorry if people are not always nice here - you have to understand that most people on these forums, are here because they themselves have some experience in the field of "love and lovelife". When someone admits they cheated on their girlfriend... well... this might just bring back bad memories.

Now for your problem. As I said before, don't worry about the sneaking, that is not your main problem. If you want to try new women, put two things on the balance

How hard do you want to try new women
VS
Do you love this girl enough not to cheat on her

If you're still young, haven't had a lot of women, or really want to try and see what's out there... and you think one day you'll slip and cheat (again)... then yes, it's more honest towards the girl to break up.

If you're sure this is the girl of your dreams, and losing her frightens you more than never getting to sleep with someone else - then go for it.

But our experience tells us... if you already cheated once.. and you come here posting "I want to try new women".. chances are that the urge to try new women will one time win... and seeing how most people here don't support the "cheating attitude", they'll advise you to do the alternative... break up.

Sorry to put it that way.. hope you understand.

Bullshit. People who are happy and content in relationships do NOT feel the pull to screw other women like you do.

Alas - it happens more than you think, someone in a happy and content relationship who still wonders what's out there.. still wonders how it would be like to kiss person X, to be with person Y... but you just cannot give in to this. This is what being faithful is all about...

[Pure Poison]

If you were in love with her, you wouldn't want to see other women. Though you are not. Either take a break and figure yourself out or end the relationship for the better.

[girl68]

Alas - it happens more than you think, someone in a happy and content relationship who still wonders what's out there.. still wonders how it would be like to kiss person X, to be with person Y... but This is what being faithful is all about...

No, you didn't read what I wrote. I said people who are truely happy don't feel the PULL LIKE HE DOES. There is a difference between having a pull towards other men/ women and there is simple everlasting mild curosity like you describe.

[cmacattack1]

No, you didn't read what I wrote. I said people who are truely happy don't feel the PULL LIKE HE DOES. There is a difference between having a pull towards other men/ women and there is simple everlasting mild curosity like you describe.

I used to think it was a girl thing to not feel that pull when they are content but it took me meeting the right person. With all the problems I've had, with all the issues and insecurities me and her both had, I've never once felt like I wanted to cheat on her. I was as selfish as the rest of them, got very comfortable with the relationship situation and ended up going out with my friends all the time, partying, having a good time when I could have been with her. Met many girls. Even drinking, which is something I was very good at, I was never tempted.

The girlfriend before that, I didn't care as much about and even telling her that while she stuck it out with me, I was tempted. I think when you meet the right person and have the right feelings, you won't want even want to try somebody else. Not to say that it will be smooth sailing. Wanting to be with other people while in a relationship is just an immaturity issue.

Look at Tiga Tiga Tiga Tiger Woods, ya'll. Great golfer. Immaturity at a level that reminds me of the time I drank too much and peed my pants. Awake. Standing up. Waiting for the bathroom. If you are ready for a real relationship and you have the right person, you won't be tempted.

Brings up two questions. Are you ready? And is she the right person?

[Charlie Boy II]

that shower thing sounds classic.

Most guys get that pull to sleep with other women, even with they're someone they care about. It's just an instinct.

[LailaK]

Guys like to think that they naturally want to have sex more than women and that they're naturally inclined to cheat.

This is a lie. Your girl feels the "pull" to other men as well. Believe me she does. When you are truly in love you don't feel the need to give into that pull because you love your partner and wouldn't hurt them that way. When a girl falls out of love every other hot guy starts looking like a steak dinner compared to her everyday peanut butter sandwich. That's when a girl knows it's time to break up.

That is the only acceptable option when you are having serious thoughts of being with other people. Act like a real man (or woman) and break up with the girl before you trample her heart.

Otherwise I look forward to seeing you both on the next season of VH1'a Tool Academy.

~L

[Gigabitch]

and are the slanders really necessary? (i'm talking to you Gigabitch)

You think that's slander? You haven't read any other threads on this board, have you? You're being handled with kid gloves because you're young and because you have passable grammar.

I thought people would be nicer.

See above.

[Konsig]

When you are truly in love you don't feel the need to give into that pull because you love your partner and wouldn't hurt them that way.

Thanks LailaK - glad to see I'm not the only one with that opinion.

If it were to be true that when you are in love, you don't feel the pull,
one could deduce that when you feel the pull, you are not in love.

But each relationship has it's better and lesser moments.. don't feel guilty if you find yourself wondering or curious. As Laila said, just don't give in to it - keep it to the wondering stage.

[Problemchild]

Thank you every one for all your help, I'm going to take it all into consideration and find a solution. Happy holidays everyone.

You think that's slander? You haven't read any other threads on this board, have you? You're being handled with kid gloves because you're young and because you have passable grammar.

Sorry I was out of line. I asked for every advice and I didn't like this one so I retorted naturally. I shouldn't of been snobby about it. I respect your opinion and advice and will also take it into consideration. Happy holidays.

[dono01]

I cheated on her once. This is the most stable relationship i've ever been in.

Forgive me...

So the most stable relationship you've ever been in consists of a 6 month period of time of which you cheated on her 1 month into the relationship and have felt like being single for a fair amount of time.

lol.

[Teddy057]

Well, if you're posting on this website saying you love someone but want to try new women, I would say you really don't love this girl. Not to mention, sneaking around with someone would suck. How old are you by the way?