Is she really just busy?

[wjl022]

So I've been seeing this girl for a little over 4 months now. The first 3 were great, we definitely hit it off on a variety of levels, spent time together when possible (she lives an hour and a half from me), and always had a good time. We spent hours on the phone, texted and emailed often. I knew going into this that she was moving back near me (within 10 minutes) in December. We didn't get too serious about things during this time (didn't have "the talk") but we did sort of agree to keep things "cool" until she was back home, though when we saw each other, we certainly acted as if we were together.

The past month or so has been busy for her, for a lot of reasons. Packing, finishing / leaving work, class, seeing people off. I get all that. Communication has slowed, almost to a crawl now. Hasn't returned my last two calls (a week apart, 2 weeks total since we've talked on the phone), though she does respond to texts or emails if I ask a direct question, normally. She doesn't make the initiative to text or email me like she used to. I know she is busy, but I can't see how a person has so much going on that they can't find time to return a call (especially someone they are supposedly interested in). I feel like she's distancing herself, but at the same time there are valid reasons for all of this. In the end, she will be living very close to me in about a week and we have certainly established interest in each other. I just hope it hasn't been lost, on her end anyway...trying not to let my brain run away with this one.

[TheWizard]

...though she does respond to texts or emails if I ask a direct question, normally. She doesn't make the initiative to text or email me like she used to.

I know she is busy, but I can't see how a person has so much going on that they can't find time to return a call (especially someone they are supposedly interested in). I feel like she's distancing herself, but at the same time there are valid reasons for all of this.

I hate to be the bearer of bad news but you have posted in a forum and asked for opinions. Your gut isn't wrong here, something is off and you're picking up on it. You're right it doesn't take very long to pick up the phone and return a call. If a person really wants to talk to you they will make time to.

You mention she responds to texts, but if it's not within about an hour 80% of the time (20% leaves room for dead cell, forgot phone in car, etc) it's waning.

Not taking the initiative to call or text you is also problematic if you're both single and pursuing something. Seems to me that it's winding down, and I can only assume you're still pursuing her heavily with calls/texts/emails. Try breaking off contact for a week or two and see if she takes the initiative to get in touch with you.

How often are you calling/texting/emailing?

[wjl022]

well it used to be that we'd talk several times a week. she'd call me, I'd call her. the last time she called me on her own was two weeks ago. since then I've called twice with no call back. text...every other day or so I'll send something, I usually get a response. email, once or twice a week.

[TheWizard]

are the texts you're sending expecting a response? Do you put a question in it or something for her to respond to or is more of a statement that doesn't need to be answered?

Once every other day or so seems fine, but probably is too frequent in my book.

[kms]

Looks like she's backing off for some reason. Even in my busiest times, I will still answer texts, and even though I might not be able to answer my phone, I'll try to call the person back (if it's my SO - other people I just wait til I have more free time). If the person is important to me, I'll make time no matter what.

She's going to be moving close to you soon, so my thoughts are that her backing off is related to that. Perhaps things started going too fast and she has realized that it's going to be harder to slow it down once you're seeing each other in person all the time. Or she met someone else... or she's just lost interest... I have no idea.