Dating your boss

[MVPlaya]

Or rather me dating mine!

My boss asked me out to dinner, I agreed and we went out tonight.
We both had a really lovely time...But the fact that he is my boss is the only thing putting me off slightly.
Although he is my boss, i dont actually work directly with him, so time spent with him at work is minimal.

Whatever I decide to do, I know that I wont let it interfere with work, and to be honest, I dont see how it would really.

I usually keep personal life and work life separate, but this kinda sprung up on me lol!

Opinions/thoughts please

How much do you know about your boss's ability to handle drama? I assume your both experienced in relations, but some people only get more bitter with age and it comes out in bad circumstances. What you should be asking yourself is what is your work relationship going to be like after you break up, and are you willing to leave your job and work somewhere else if you have to.

That doesn't mean your relationship is necessarily headed that route, I've dated coworkers and the aftermath was drama free, but I always understood that I better be prepared for all the risks in advance.

[IndiReloaded]

Your stakes are not the same as Querts. You don't have a child to consider and none of your jobs were permanent, since you are still a student.

You won't be dating coworkers if you land a plum job post-MBA. Or you'd be a fool that deserves what happens if you do.

[MVPlaya]

I didn't say my stakes were the same, I said not all work relationships end with drama.

And I'm not a student.

[Cbrider]

I didn't say my stakes were the same, I said not all work relationships end with drama.

True, but messing around within one's company carries potential consequences that 99% of people probably can't shoulder effectively.

In a world economy this week, that last thing you want to do is make waves of any kind in the workplace and show up on the company radar.

Anyone who recommends or advises this to be a good idea hasn't been part of, or seen real fallout over workplace romance. You think a screaming break up with shit flying out the front door is bad......

[MVPlaya]

True, but messing around within one's company carries potential consequences that 99% of people probably can't shoulder effectively.

In a world economy this week, that last thing you want to do is make waves of any kind in the workplace and show up on the company radar.

Anyone who recommends or advises this to be a good idea hasn't been part of, or seen real fallout over workplace romance. You think a screaming break up with shit flying out the front door is bad......

I agree. I often forget tone is hard to read in electronic form.

I'm not advising her to do this. I'm advising her to analyze the risks and plan for them, then choose for herself.

As drama-free as my relations ended, I have never revisited office romances, and for a reason.

[IndiReloaded]

I didn't say my stakes were the same, I said not all work relationships end with drama.

Irrelevant. Unless you have a way for her to predict which way hers will end. Do you? Given that you, and everyone else who posted dalliances at work had the same outcome (they didn't last), its not exactly a smart gamble, is it?

The only thing that is important is the risk/benefit calculation. Simply put, a single person w/o attachments is able to assume more risk b/c of the reasons I said.

[MVPlaya]

See above.

[qwertz]

I said i had made the right decision..i didnt actually say that I had chosen to date him...But i did nearly make a stupid and idiotic decision. Though my position at work is secure, I dont need any complications in my life, work is awkward enough when i see the guy with issues over me so I dont need to make things more awkward when he finds out im dating someone from work and if we split then things would be difficult.

I do these things..making bad decisions and having poor judgement is the story of my life(hopefully not this time)

[Primo]

Starting a relationship with someone in the workplace isn't a death knell. I've seen quite a few end in happy marriages. Pretty much all the break-ups I've seen have been amiable and they people were able to work together with no problems too.

In my opinion though, no matter how small the chance, you HAVE to be prepared and have the ability to walk away from your job. If you don't have that option or it isn't a realistic one, it's probably in your best interests to look elsewhere for love. Some people are very marketable and could transition their career elsewhere without too much trouble, some never can.

In the end, workplace romance can be a good thing, but it's a highly individual answer as to whether it's worth pursuing. Generally it's not worth it, but I wouldn't throw away a chance at someone special either if I knew for a fact I would land on my feet.

[Gigabitch]

I do these things..making bad decisions and having poor judgement is the story of my life (hopefully not this time)

Yay! Glad to hear it! That's the spirit!

[CocoChanel]

We aren't talking about dating just another co-worker but we are talking about dating someone with an authoritative title, a boss, supervisor or superior. Dating anyone on your job, there's a high risk for drama and compromise than none. Dating your boss is on another level of NO NO.

[all alone]

If anyone is casually dating a coworker (not a superior), I wouldn't say its particularly problematic. If they both want to 'kick it up a notch', and have a more serious relationship, I think one of the two should be ready to find a new job. If it doesn't seem 'worth it', then end the relationship.

[valhensing]

i agree.

Co-worker at different department or dont see that much - trouble scale: 2,3
close co-worker - see everyday, work together at the same projects - trouble scale: 7,8
BOSS: trouble scale 10+

Those are on the scale fom 0 to 10

[Gigabitch]

If anyone is casually dating a coworker (not a superior), I wouldn't say its particularly problematic.

You'd be wrong. Things can blow up like a grenade.

[Sonrisa]

blah, are we talking about teenagers here or mature adults? we had people in our company who have dated each other and broke up, and they are still working together.