I've always been pretty level headed in my relationships, and so when this one started it just felt like the one to end all of them. Like I was to experience my last first date (this is what he always said).
I just never realized that I could ever love and care for someone like this for this long; it's been close to two years.
We've had our little tiffs just like any relationship, but they always got resolved and we said they always made us stronger. He hinted of a solid future together; that we'll grow old.
In the last year, I've been dealing with the very real possibility that he was going to go away for medical school. I've talked to him about it, but it didn't seem like he was facing that reality. I was always reassured with a "we'll be okay, I promise". I always thought that we'd cherish what little time we had together and work at an LDR.
So when he decided to break things off last week, I was confused and caught off guard. He told me that he recently got rejected from our local medical school, and he knew that he'd never be able to survive an LDR. Therefore, he wasn't willing to put in the effort to try, because he'd been in one.
Despite voicing minor reasons why he thought it would be better for us to end things now, it just seems like the bulk of why he was doing this was for his sake. He said that since he knows the end he can't go on (he starts med school in the fall of 2010), and he wouldn't be living and doing his best in med school if he always wanted to go home and see me. He said that if he'd been able to stay we would have worked out.
The most selfish thing is that he didn't even try to spare me for a week to finish my finals. It wasn't a day after the rejection that he decided to cut off ties.
It's confusing because I can say that I know him pretty well and this behavior; this selfishness is uncharacteristic. And my friends seem to echo that confusion because they've always known him as a caring, thoughtful guy.
He decided to stop talking to me, and I've been giving him his space.
But the cruel thing is, is that he says he loves me and that he'll miss and always remember me. Said that I was the perfect one.
Anyways, that's my story. I'd thought I'd share. It's been though, and I've been talking to anyone who'd listen.