How would you react

[Krissykris]

This is sorta along the same range as my other post in the intimate section.

Me and my bf are having sex problems, mostly with me being not turned on ever.
Been going out 3 years, sex has always been good.

1 year ago I started losing my sex drive (which I'm a nympho) so I started to do more crazier things with him, bondage, stripteasing, take more initiative in sex thinking that he would do the same to me. Well 1 year has past and I've had nothing done to me, no trying to tie me up, no clit teasing, no aggressive (I wanna F*CK U) behavior.
He use to eat me out but I never liked it and would always push him away, so now he never tries anymore (which I get) but I don't get finger action either.
My boyfriend is NOT the passionate type, he's very reserved with his emotions, as in never shows them, so you can imagine passionless sex, which I'm not saying is bad but it's not holy crap i wanna die good, although there have been times.

I've tried hinting (watching porn to show him what kind of sex I like) I tried telling him one of my fantasies, and he laughed at it (which made me cry) and he apologized for it and felt bad. So as time went on I just started getting more sexually frustrated and I just STRAIGHT out say what I don't like. And by this I think I've made him insecure, but I thought thats what I should do! I heard faking it is bad cause I'll always lose in sex and never be satisfied. But now I'm regretting telling him what I don't like cause now he just humps and thinks and it's not good sex.

Did I ruin sex?

[Primo]

No sexual chemistry, it happens...no matter how good looking the people involved.

[Illusional]

if all this isn't working, then just jump on him and rape him. if you did that to me, i'd surely catch the hint.

raverboy

[bloodtippedrose]

kudos illusional.

try doing what HE likes. Act out his fantasies instead of yours.

or do what you usually like to him, tie him up and command him around (I dont suggest hot wax) and it will turn you on

[TheWizard]

hints aren't working. You need to tell him to be more aggressive in bed, tell him he needs to take you by surprise and participate in fulfilling your needs.

He's kind of dense or really really insecure about something

[mrkleen]

YOU didn’t ruin anything, this is simply a mismatch. You wanted to try new things in the bedroom is very healthy and normal…in fact, you sound like a great catch. Over the long haul, you NEED things like those you speak of to keep the spark alive and going strong.

I think you BF is a bore and he isnt going to change. In the long run, you need someone that is confident, fun and more sexually adventurous to be happy. If you stay with you current BF, you will eventually cheat with someone more exciting.

Sorry to be blunt, but I see this as a fatal mismatch.

[DavidS]

Just more communication is needed for both of you to be happy. You've told him what you don't like but have you told him what you do like?

[davidtorres]

You need to tell him what you need. stop giving hints. tell him straight up what you want and need. dont give him hints. tell me i need this or we are done. lol

[chrisy]

Sounds like a mismatch. You are not doing it for him and vice versa.