broke up because of white lies

[blued]

I am a woman 34 years old with two kids not living with me. I have a live in partner for 2 years he is 4 years younger than me. We were very sweet and have a nice relationship together. We decided to live together.With all my expense, we rented a house bought everything. I earn more than him. I paid for the house and other expenses but it doesn't bother me at all coz I love him.
We got engaged and the family were so happy thinking that this man won't get married anymore.

He is a type of person who don't talk much, don't share about whats going on with his daily life. we were living together with a daily routine.
I call him everyday asking how are you?. Did you eat your breakfast? Are you going out today? ( coz he's working at home). The same answer I get everyday. Until one day he got so bored coz I asked the same Q. I told him what will I asked? you are not sharing. he told me what will I share?
This answer made me so upset coz I need someone to talk to. I need someone to cry on, to share with my problems.
I am working during weekdays from 9 to 5.
working during weekend 24 hours on saturday night till the next day. Meaning I am away for 24 hrs every weekend.

The problem of not trusting him started when I saw unusual things such evidence of Unfaithfulness. Everytime I came from my work during weekend, I checked our house and I saw hairs which is not mine, One time I saw marks of lipstick on a glass , I confronted him but all he said was NO NOBODY CAME HERE .( But I admit there were times I was wrong, that strands of hair was her sisters hair that I get paranoid. ) I don't know, but I know for sure he once or twice took a girl in our house while I was away.

I started to have doubts and not trusting him anymore, (that made him so angry).
Until it comes to the point, he always asked me where did you go? whom are you with ?etc. I admit I lied to him once or twice but those lies are not a big deal. It was not important for me to say no I didn't go out , No I just stayed in the office etc.
The last scene that made him so angry was, when he asked me If I went out one day, told him no I didn't go anywhere. He asked me thrice and I answered the same, but I didn't know that he sets my phone to a spesial feature, that everytime he calls and if I don't answer, it automatically accept the calls. that time He heard me laughing with my friends talking with them ( but were all girls). and he found out that I went out that day. That was a big deal for him.

I understand him that if I lie it makes him so upset coz he told me he hates liar. this situation ended up 3 weeks ago and he told me he can't forgive me anymore. At first I beg and cried to give me another chance but he said he can't live with me, He can't marry me. So I ran away sleeping with my friends coming home beg again. Hoping he will forgive me. but he said the same thing . He already told his family and closest friends that we separated. I don't know maybe he said bad things about me.
I am looking for a house to move but I wasn't able to found one yet. I still live in our house we sleep in one bed and sometimes make love. Sounds strange but he told me this is just because of sex. I don't know why I still stay with him.

just need your opinionon. Please don't be harsh on your advice I know ı am so stupid.

Thank you so much for taking your precious time reading my story.

Blued

[Gigabitch]

Excuse me? You paid for the house and yet you're the one looking for a place to move out?

Why are you letting this guy be the boss of you? He's a freaking loser and you're better off without him. You can do better than a guy like this, can't you?

[blued]

yeah I know but I love him I know he don't deserve me at all
What can I do ?

[Gigabitch]

Get an exorcism. He's the devil.

[blued]

Know what you made me laugh you are right, I need to get rid of him as soon as possible... and know what he wants me to step out from our house andI will bring nothing with... He's so rude...very rude

[Gigabitch]

Is his name on the lease?

[qwertz]

he is a prime example of where i would use a blunt knife to cut off his balls, then say 'whos the dada' now bitch'

[CocoChanel]

You are not the problem he is. It seems like he was looking for a reason to ditch the relationship. Stop having sex with him and tell him he has 30 days to find him a place to stay. If he really wanted to leave you... he would be gone.

[blued]

Thanks everyone It helps me to realise everything that he's a pain in the ass.

[davidtorres]

wow all this girls hating on the guy. lol

Your mistake is that you LIED. You are in a relationship and you are engage then you still lied to him? You went out with your girls and you STILL have to lie to him? Whats the point of lying if you are just with your girlfriends?

For a guy... we think this way, if you can lie which is a white lie,hes going to think your just a liar since you had to lie on something you don't even need to lie. Does it make sense?

Trust is a big thing. You broke that trust and you're paying for it.

Now, the question is can you fix it? No, you cant fix it. Trust is not something you get back. You have to earn it.

No guy will marry a girl that he cant trust.

[CocoChanel]

She shouldn't have to be with someone that won't open up to her either. She shouldn't be with someone she doesn't trust either. He chose to start questioning her because she was questioning him.

[davidtorres]

Exactly, she shouldnt have. They both don't trust each other and they got engaged.
Whos fault is that? He asked you to marry him then you said yes.

In my opinion and past experience, a guy or a girl dont trust someone because their partner had a bad history. Although, reality, trust is something you earn.

[blued]

David you are right, I lied and he should'nt trust me. I am just doing this coz I don't want to be asked over and over again with the same questions.
He does'nt share at all. If ı asked the same Q he gets mad at me. That makes me so upset coz I know inorder for a relationship to grow we need to share our problems, opinions and feelings.
I understand you that ı cannot be trusted anymore becoz of small things I lied to him, but he lied to me as well, and he's lie is not just small things like mine. and the problem is he never admits he lied but I can see evidences of what he did. I guess some people will not admit they lied if they were not caught in the act.

I know I can't fix it

Thanks for your opinion

[Perryville]

Blue, as far as the housing situation goes, you should tell him to find another place to live. You pay for it so you say who goes where. The integrity issues you both seem to have, should be big red flags. If you can lie so casually, what will you do if something really important happens? My advice is to stop making excuses, admit to your faults, so that they don't happen with the next man. Kick this bum out.

[blued]

Thanks perry, Yeah about the house issue ,actually, he does'nt want to leave he said where am I going? How can I buy all these stuff if you will take all of these. I dont know.. I am the type of person who is very humble and generous enough to say ok I'll leave you stay and all of these are yours.
Do you think this is the right thing to do? I am right now looking for a house to move on but you know, it's not very easy because I need to start again from the very beginning . I know if I kicked him out he will say no.