Meeting someone I've met online tonight, and I'm super anxious.

**Dogtoast** · 10-12-09, 02:37 AM

So I've met this chick on e-harmony and we've communicated back and forth a couple times via email, obviously. We talked on the phone Sunday for an hour and the conversation was great. She lives an hour away and is coming up so we can go out to sushi together. I've got butterflies as this girl is gorgeous! She's 30 (4 yrs older) and I'm just generally excited.

Tips???

**mrkleen** · 10-12-09, 02:47 AM

First off, very good move and not waiting too long to meet. That way you wont waste each other’s time if it isn’t a good connection in person.

As for tips, just be yourself. Obviously you impressed her enough already to at least get you a first date after 2 days – and to get her to drive 1 hour to see you….so WELL DONE.

Do something light after dinner, like shoot pool or go to a sports bar….nothing too romantic or heavy. Ask her lots of questions. Compliment her a few times over the course of the date, but not too often. Just have fun…you will do great.

**vashti** · 10-12-09, 02:51 AM

Eat with your mouth closed, and don't scratch. Make sure your clothes are clean and presentable. Don't talk about your former relationships, except perhaps as a side note. Fake some confidence if you aren't feeling any. Don't make her carry the entire weight of a conversation.

**Dogtoast** · 10-12-09, 02:56 AM

Good tips... No "ex" talk, got it. Try not to eat like a slob (even though sushi can be quite a mouthful!) I definitely know how to dress so I'm not worried about that

I wasn't sure about the complimenting thing.....We've already passed the initial stages where you're not supposed to compliment...so compliments (a few) should be okay right? I'm definitely just going to be myself and make light of any akward situations or silences.

**starbuck** · 10-12-09, 05:26 AM

DT, a couple compliments are probably fine, just don't overdo it as it will sound fake.

Make sure at the end of it, if you want a second date, you should suggest it. Something like, "Let's do this again. Can I take you out to <insert place here>?" That keeps the momentum going, and doesn't leave you wondering when to ask her out again.

I also think it's nice to thank her afterwards (maybe an email when you get home that night or the next day). When my husband and I had our first date, I had to bail a little bit early due to the fact that I was starting a new job the next day and wanted to prepare. On the train ride home, I texted him and told him what a wonderful time I had...mostly to make sure he didn't think I was trying to run the other way.

Most of all have fun!

**Dogtoast** · 10-12-09, 05:31 AM

Do respectable chicks kiss on the first date??

**starbuck** · 10-12-09, 05:40 AM

I think a first date goodnight kiss is nice. It lets her know that you're still interested in her. Just a subtle kiss though, not a full-on grope.

If you're going to do it though, never ask first. Just plant it on her. She'll respect your gutsiness.

**Dogtoast** · 10-12-09, 06:06 AM

I've done the slow, lips directly on her cheek kiss....not that cheek to cheek crap....Just a soft, slow, kiss on the cheek....look in her eyes right after and smile to see where she's at....and then possible lips.

whattya think?

**Dogtoast** · 10-12-09, 07:20 AM

So yeah a couple beers before leaving is definitely doing the trick

**vashti** · 10-12-09, 07:23 AM

ugh. don't show up drunk and stinking of booze.

**Gigabitch** · 10-12-09, 07:24 AM

If you showed up to meet me for the first time and I smelled alcohol on you, I would think you were a loser. I drink but I don't do it before a date.

**NeoSeminole** · 10-12-09, 11:47 AM

I'm predicting failure

**Sanctuary** · 10-12-09, 12:09 PM

Originally Posted by MRKleen

Ask her lots of questions. Compliment her a few times over the course of the date, but not too often.

No don't ask lots of questions, that's boring. Tell her an interesting story or make actual conversation using questions to lead. You can compliment her but don't suck up to her.

Originally Posted by Dogtoast

I've done the slow, lips directly on her cheek kiss....not that cheek to cheek crap....Just a soft, slow, kiss on the cheek....look in her eyes right after and smile to see where she's at....and then possible lips.

whattya think?

I dunno what you talking about; I just kiss em on the lips.

Originally Posted by Dogtoast

So yeah a couple beers before leaving is definitely doing the trick

dude wtf? LOL

**Dogtoast** · 10-12-09, 02:01 PM

haha.....so I totally didn't show up drunk. Met up with her for sushi, great conversation and some friendly touching while we were laughing. Good times...sushi sucked but she was cool. Went up the road to some wine bar and sat outside...she drank wine and i drank good beers. Drove her back to her car at the sushi place at the end of the night and made out like highschoolers in front of the last people leaving the sushi place.

Like I said she's 30...and she made it apparent she wants a family and her biological clock is ticking.....sooo yeah. She's cool and hot and all but I dunno. We'll see. Probably gonna go out again soon.

**mrkleen** · 10-12-09, 11:04 PM

Originally Posted by Dogtoast

Do respectable chicks kiss on the first date??

These kinds of rules are stupid. If you hit it off, you absolutely should give her a kiss (or multiple kisses depending on how the first one goes)

I would generally say that sleeping together on the first date is a bad sign, but then again – I have done that and had it turn into a very long and positive relationship on a few times.

Just have fun and let things develop organically. You will be just fine.

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