just friends or dating?

[hurricanes1210]

so heres a little background info. i met this girl at school about 3-4 months ago. we became really good friends and i started to like her a lot. we hung out a few times a week but mostly as in a group. eventually i told her how i felt and she said the same thing. a few weeks in i became frustrated that i would never hear from her and i always had to initiate talking to her first via texting or whatnot. we had kissed several times before so i knew she was into me, but oneday we were on a walk and were talking about serious relationship type stuff and she said that she didnt know if she wanted to be in a relationship right now and said that she thinks i like her more than she likes me. i was ok with that and took it as a sign to back off. looking back i feel like i may have been moving to quickly which might have scared her and caused her to say that. The reason i am posting on here is because after a month or 2 of seeing her 1-2 times a week, mostly getting lunch or something, she asked me to get dinner and see a movie with her on a friday night. and said yes because i still really like this girl and think about her a lot. yesterday i asked her if she wanted to go see a movie on saturday night and she said yes.

Does this mean that either of these will be/ has been a date? i would like to date her but dont want to screw anything up if she is just trying to be friends. i feel like maybe i was just moving to fast for her before, and now maybe she is ready for something? i really like this girl and any advice would be appreciated...thanks

[Sanctuary]

Does this mean that either of these will be/ has been a date? i would like to date her but dont want to screw anything up if she is just trying to be friends. i feel like maybe i was just moving to fast for her before, and now maybe she is ready for something? i really like this girl and any advice would be appreciated...thanks

Yes, both of these are dates. Don't act like a friend and you won't be a friend. What I mean is, act like you are her boyfriend. Give her a kiss at the end of the night and she'll know what you mean. Don't pressure her into a relationship and just enjoy the moment and it's all good.

Take it easy and be confident dude. You lead the way and she'll follow.

Damn, this advice sounds very vague if you don't get where I'm coming from. I hope you do.

[hurricanes1210]

thanks. anyone else?

[hurricanes1210]

im thinking about telling her how i feel after the movie tomorrow. do you think this is a good or bad idea?

[thrillaveza]

i will point out possible options of what will happen. well it's rest assured she has some sort of mutual feeling for you, so with that said, she already knows how you feel. BUT if you do tell her how you feel like straight up, things can go good or bad really fast. you might hear her say that she feels the same way (which may lead to being your gf and lets hope for that) or she might let you down. i say it's a given that she has some sort of knowledge that you are interested in her, so i wouldnt advise to tell her that. while at the movie, just like what sanctuary said lead the date. keep making her laugh and smile and show that you want to be her bf perhaps give her a kiss at the end (cheek mouth whatever seems the mood).

[hurricanes1210]

its tough though. knowing her and being really good friends with her i think the talking thing would be better because if i gave her a kiss she didnt want, that could scare her off.

[hurricanes1210]

also...knowing her for a while i know that she is the type of girl who wont take charge and show me how she feels, that being said its hard to tell what she is ever thinking

[shheadz]

im thinking about telling her how i feel after the movie tomorrow. do you think this is a good or bad idea?

I'd say it's a bad idea. She already knows how you feel. Don't turn a few fun dates into a serious relationship discussion. It's going to turn her off.

[hurricanes1210]

im about to leave but ill probably just say something along the lines of "i really like spending time with you" and see what happens from there

[Lynx]

It sounds like she already knows how you feel so now maybe its' time for you to step back a little and let her contact you and tell you how she is feeling.

[shheadz]

^ My thoughts exactly.

[thrillaveza]

so how did it go?

[Sanctuary]

im about to leave but ill probably just say something along the lines of "i really like spending time with you" and see what happens from there

I apparently read this post when I was really sleepy and borderline drunk so I missed the part where it said you knew her for 3-4 months. I thought you 2 just met lol. Good thing I gave vague advice, I hope your date went well dude.

[hurricanes1210]

well we had a good time throughout the night and near the end i told her that i still have feelings for her. she responded by saying that she dosnt feel that way anymore. she also made me feel guilty though because she said she can understand if i cant be friends with her but then told me how i was her closest friend here. I still do enjoy being with her, even if its just as a friend and i dont want to be a d-bag and not be friends with her anymore but its hard. how do get rid of the feelings that i have with her so i can continue to hang out?

[thrillaveza]

ummm your question would be hard to answer. ummm you would have to cut her out of her life, as in no talking or seeing each other for a while. that's how you would get rid of those feelings. and once you are better, proceed to talk to her.

you can always disregard what i put, and continue to hang out with her. your feelings may last longer or even be stronger (eventually leading to hurt). if you like her, a lot, you should be willing to accept it and be happy for what she wants.