Worst sex you've ever had..

[BoredGeorge]

Go on, spill your stories, you know you want to..

[Charlie Boy II]

ahhh couple of times when I've been so wasted I've failed to maintain an erection. I was so drunk I didn't give a shit either. Just passed out. What a man.

[qwertz]

That would be the ex with a weaner that didnt like foreplay or any position but missionary..and he didnt last long..about 2 minutes(no im not joking)

needless to say he never once satisfied me so i ditched him.

[Perryville]

Gf I had in college. Was obsessed by HIV, would do nothing without a condom, even after we had been together for six months. Always used "protection", for oral as well as vaginal. Would have me use mouthwash before and after deep kissing. Always carried a spray bottle of disinfectant when we went out, would spray and wipe anything she touched. Bat-shit crazy.

[Gigabitch]

Rebound guy after breakup with college boyfriend. He was CUTE, but had absolutely no skills whatsoever. I thought he was going to pull my tits off with his lips and then he would just climb on and flail away for anywhere between one and two minutes.

Oh, my God. The memories.

I only slept with him a few times- I kept thinking I must have been mistaken, nobody could possibly be that bad, he had to improve. Nope. He didn't. The last time, I actually laughed. I couldn't help it. That was the end of that.

[Chupacabras]

Are you trying to trick someone into telling you what a vagina feels like?

[qwertz]

Are you trying to trick someone into telling you what a vagina feels like?

You know, I didnt even notice it was BJ who started this thread

[all alone]

Are you trying to trick someone into telling you what a vagina feels like?

Surely he knows it's like nice warm apple pie

[CocoChanel]

I don't know about that one @all alone. BG may not know about the poo nan nee.

[all alone]

I don't know about that one @all alone. BG may not know about the poo nan nee.

haha.. i was going for the american pie reference, im with you on that one =\

[Junket]

We were on the floor and I was pulling out to slip the condom off and ejaculate on her stomach, (or wherever). Well she wasn't really paying attention and as I shot my first load, she realized what was going on, and pushed herself away from me because she thought I was aiming right at her snatch. So when she pushed herself away, she actually put herself into the danger zone, and I could've sworn one of those gobs hit her down there.

Sad because it would have been a really good orgasm (one of the few), but I was dumbstruck frozen, and she was panicked, and my penis just kept on poppin' 'em out like it didn't have a care in the world.

[Only-virgins]

We were on the floor and I was pulling out to slip the condom off and ejaculate on her stomach, (or wherever). Well she wasn't really paying attention and as I shot my first load, she realized what was going on, and pushed herself away from me because she thought I was aiming right at her snatch. So when she pushed herself away, she actually put herself into the danger zone, and I could've sworn one of those gobs hit her down there.

Sad because it would have been a really good orgasm (one of the few), but I was dumbstruck frozen, and she was panicked, and my penis just kept on poppin' 'em out like it didn't have a care in the world.

Hahahaha wtf.

[kms]

lol nice thread.

Mine: I was a virgin and so was he - both of us completely clueless and had no idea what was down there or how it all worked (we both grew up in conservative Christian families - sex and our bodies were taboo and off-limits). He couldn't figure out where to put it... I didn't think it would be that hard; there's only two places right, lol... he ended up getting a flashlight and spreading my legs open and poking around with a completely confused, dazed and overwhelmed look on his face. In retrospect I realized that he wasn't even hard (I had no idea that guys even get hard in the first place, nor that it is kind of an important part of the process). I ended up closing my eyes and trying to 'find a happy place' in hopes that it would be over soon.

He was never successful, and neither was the relationship, suffice it to say.

[IndiReloaded]

he ended up getting a flashlight and spreading my legs open and poking around with a completely confused, dazed and overwhelmed look on his face.

LOLOL! Here we read an example of the complete opposite of what Mother Nature intended. Anti-evolution at its finest.

He was never successful, and neither was the relationship, suffice it to say.

No kidding.

[bluesummer]

I don't want to talk about it except to say he was very hairy and sweaty, which is a terrible combination.