I desperately need some help with this situation with my boyfriend

[Miss_Navi]

I have been with my boyfriend for 10 months.
The thing is, he really loves me, but I don't feel the same for him anymore, in fact I want to break up with him.

I have tried, and I end up staying with him as a result because he guilts me into staying with him. I've seen him cry so many times when he explains the reasons to why he doesn't want to let me go.

He is 15 years older than me, and therefore is in despair that he cannot find a good girlfriend before he reaches 40. Not only that, but he has no career or stable residence, and his aspirations are a very long way away. Therefore, I apparently am his 'happiness' in life, and if I leave him, he will vanish. He is making it out that he will leave this world altogether if I quit him. He tried to commit suicide a long time ago due to trying to have a family with someone, having a child with them and then the mother leaving him due to the fact she didn't really care about him and just wanted the child benefits.

So he's had a real hard time, but he now seems depending on me way too much even though he says he isn't, and the point is I want to leave him.

And might I mention that, he thinks I am the one in his life. He is not interested in any other women... what so ever.

Please help me, what can I do?

[Gigabitch]

You can tell him you've had enough of his emotional blackmail, wish him well and go. End of problem.

[Yggdrasil]

The thing is, he really loves me, but I don't feel the same for him anymore, in fact I want to break up with him.

He doesn't love you, he tells you he does 'really love you' and you believe him. In reality he's using you (see further):

I have tried, and I end up staying with him as a result because he guilts me into staying with him. I've seen him cry so many times when he explains the reasons to why he doesn't want to let me go.

Oh? Guilt trips so you'd stay?

He is 15 years older than me, and therefore is in despair that he cannot find a good girlfriend before he reaches 40. Not only that, but he has no career or stable residence, and his aspirations are a very long way away.

Bullshit. He's older than you, doesn't have a career, doesn't have a stable residence, doesn't have any aspirations and he wonders why he can't find a g/f? Who wants to be with such a loser?

Therefore, I apparently am his 'happiness' in life, and if I leave him, he will vanish.

You're not his happiness, you're his financial and social security.

He is making it out that he will leave this world altogether if I quit him. He tried to commit suicide a long time ago due to trying to have a family with someone, having a child with them and then the mother leaving him due to the fact she didn't really care about him and just wanted the child benefits.

More guilt trips..

So he's had a real hard time, but he now seems depending on me way too much even though he says he isn't, and the point is I want to leave him.

This is more than depending, this guy is a PARASITE.

And might I mention that, he thinks I am the one in his life. He is not interested in any other women... what so ever.

Throw him out and give him 1 week to find another victim, whom he will tell the same bullshit story about her blue eyes and his never ending love.

This isn't love doll, this guy parasites on women so he doesn't have to grow up, have a job or career, find an appartment, taking care of himself, etc... you know.. all those things people usualy do when they hit a certain age...

Hey, I have an idea.. why don't you change his diapers while you're at it?

Kick him out.. while you're at it.. get a restraining order, so he knows you mean it.

Be prepared for emotional guilt trips and terrorizing.. USE the restraining order.

No mercy for this kind of parasite.

[woody 73]

You people are all sad,as im am the guy u r calling a dimwit and 2 change my nappys, y dont u get a life and stop putting people down that u dont know. Your all just as bad sad idiots who have got nothing to do but point fingers.get a life

[shheadz]

I don't agree with Yggdrasil's assessment. It's very possible he really loves her 100%, and she doesn't love him. It's a common scenario. It's also possible that he's just very emotionally attached to her, because he has nothing else going on in his life.

Either way, the guilt trips are never cool. I've seen it before, and it's actually really sad. If he really loved you, he wouldn't be trying to keep you an emotional hostage in his life. It's not fair to you at all.

Oh, and one last thing. I have seen this before, and guess what? The guy did find another girlfriend. His world didn't fall apart after the break up. He did move on. This guy will move on too.

[Car Chick]

It sounds like he may have some major depression issues. Perhaps he can find some counseling? Many churches offer free professional counsling.

Why is it exactly that you want to break up with him? Is it an issue you for sure can't work out?

[Heratriumphant]

Put his shit in the yard and change the locks.

The only happiness you're responsible for is your own.

This guy is a sad sack user.

[flea]

You people are all sad,as im am the guy u r calling a dimwit and 2 change my nappys, y dont u get a life and stop putting people down that u dont know. Your all just as bad sad idiots who have got nothing to do but point fingers.get a life

really?

if that's true, do you hear what she's saying? she's sick of your shite, so grow up or you'll lose her....loser.

[c_bunnie]

This is a tough one but at the end of the day it is clear that staying in a toxic relationship like this is not good for either of you. Sure he wants you to stay but really you are not his life and if you leave he will have to figure out how to make his life work on his own. Perhaps then he will move on/ actually reach some of his ambitions. If you stay and prolong this relationship things will be even worse when you eventually do get fed up and leave him. His suicide attempt in the past is not your fault and yes I agree that he should get some counselling for any underlying issues but bear this in mind...Life is to short to be emotionally blackmailed rather than allow yourself the possibility to find true happiness.

[0fficial]

Navi,

You must stand for what you believe in and what makes you cherish life.

A stale and abrasive relationship is detrimental to your health and his as well.

Do not risk putting your essence in danger by letting it degrade. Tell him maturely how you feel, as he is older im sure he can understand.

I wish you all the best,

And do not be afraid to say what you feel , because in doing so you are fulfilling who you are.

[lhn]

Don't be emotionally blackmailed into anything, your life is your own to control.

At the same time... be gentle with him. He'll be heartbroken and thats a very tough thing to deal with.

Good luck, these things are always very difficult to deal with.