White boy friend doesn't want me being friends with American women?

[Puff]

I'm Filipino engaged to my white boyfriend for 3 months now, he treats me great and I'm excited about the future together. One thing i find strange is that he doesn't want me to ever talk or be friends with any American women, which is difficult cause we live in America. Though he does say that he would be fine if I started becoming friends with other minority women like Asian, pacific Islander, Native American, ect. Its not like he forces me to stay away from them or forbids me to, hes not controlling at all but hes made it clear he doesn't like the idea of me around American women and would be disappointed if I did it.

Any way he tells me he likes me cause I'm the opposite of American women. He says he wants to keep me sweet, pure, and with traditional values I grew up with. He says that if I begin hanging around American women that soon enough I'll begin acting like them, and that they are a bad influence. He never outwardly bashes American women but there are always isolated incidents when he puts them down and makes fun of them. Like when ever him and his friends are around I hear them sometimes joking about how American women are fat and how badly they age. And another time when we were watching a talk show and there was an American women on getting paternity test from several men to see who the father of her 3 children were, he just turned to me and said "see why you shouldn't try to be like American women", than he just went on to make fun of how slutty and disgusting they were.

I can see his point in staying wholesome and not losing my conservative Filipino values since thats the girl he fell in love with, but I see no harm in having American female friends. What do you think? Do white men act like this with all non-white women they're with? I'd like some feed back.

[Illusional]

if this is the case then tell him to move to the phillipines because there isn't a damn way in hell that you're only going to have asian friends. also your bf is a bit dumb because regardless of your ethnicity, every asian has a little part of america in them.

raverboy

[bluesummer]

Sounds to me like he got rejected by more than a few 'American women' in his life. You are okay with letting him control you like that? Tell you what friends you can have?

I don't want to sound prejudiced or condescending, but a lot of white males have the belief that asian or south asian women (including Chinese, Filipino, Japanese) are more docile and taught to 'obey' their husbands. They like the idea that they can control them. Sounds like your boyfriend haas the same idea. He's afraid you'll make friends with American women that will tell you the way your relationship is run isn't healthy for YOU. He's afraid of losing his control.

[Junket]

Your boyfriend is controlling.

Maybe not completely outright, but think...manipulative.

[Graham Berkeley]

Puff, let me guess you are a mail order bride, no?

[MVPlaya]

I'm Filipino engaged to my white boyfriend for 3 months now, he treats me great and I'm excited about the future together. One thing i find strange is that he doesn't want me to ever talk or be friends with any American women, which is difficult cause we live in America. Though he does say that he would be fine if I started becoming friends with other minority women like Asian, pacific Islander, Native American, ect. Its not like he forces me to stay away from them or forbids me to, hes not controlling at all but hes made it clear he doesn't like the idea of me around American women and would be disappointed if I did it.

Any way he tells me he likes me cause I'm the opposite of American women. He says he wants to keep me sweet, pure, and with traditional values I grew up with. He says that if I begin hanging around American women that soon enough I'll begin acting like them, and that they are a bad influence. He never outwardly bashes American women but there are always isolated incidents when he puts them down and makes fun of them. Like when ever him and his friends are around I hear them sometimes joking about how American women are fat and how badly they age. And another time when we were watching a talk show and there was an American women on getting paternity test from several men to see who the father of her 3 children were, he just turned to me and said "see why you shouldn't try to be like American women", than he just went on to make fun of how slutty and disgusting they were.

I can see his point in staying wholesome and not losing my conservative Filipino values since thats the girl he fell in love with, but I see no harm in having American female friends. What do you think? Do white men act like this with all non-white women they're with? I'd like some feed back.

You are dating a giant ****ing retard who is only with you because he has some idiotic belief that American women are all sluts and that its better to get a nice, pure, submissive Oriental chick who will be a better wife.

I see retards like that all the time. "Man, I wish I could find me a nice authentic Asian chick. Nah, not her, she's not authentic enough, lived in the U.S. too long."

I hope you have a nice, long chat with your idiot fiancee and figure out your expectations about eachothers roles, hopefully you'll find that his motivations aren't as selfish as I'm 90% sure they really are.

[Gigabitch]

He didn't fall in love with you. He fell in love with your conservative values. He doesn't believe that those values are strong enough to withstand the pressure of American culture. If you change at all, he won't love you any more.

That's how much his love is worth.

[Sanctuary]

LOL what the hell?

Your boyfriend just took insecurity or abject stupidity to a whole new level.

[Lipp]

He's probably more worried about the ones who go clubbing, sleep around, obsessed with fashion, cheat and act like skanks, rather than "american women" as a whole.

[IndiReloaded]

He sounds like a control freak. Quick, go find some American girlfriends who will tell you all the ways you don't even realize you are being abused! LOL.

The way he helps you maintain your values is by discussing these things with you. The fact he puts down anyone, regardless of ethnicity, means he has issues. You sound pretty nice and sincere, so this will probably be his only way of controlling you--accusing you of 'acting American' when you have a legitimate concern. And when he doesn't like *you* he will be calling you all those same names. Watch out.

[lilly1185]

I had an ex who left me for chick who was Asian (some sort of sick fetish). She was also a nun.

You guess how that turned out ha ha!

The word manipulative seems to cover it nicely. Not all American women get paternity tests on Teevee to find out who the father is. Sounds like he's just streaming you Jerry Springer garbage to keep that notion in your head that we're all like that.

Surprise! We're not. Just a bit independently minded. Watch Judge Judy.