OK, full version of the shy guy post

[Sanctuary]

Who is Stephen Hopkins? What the hell? You just made that up didn't you?

[lilsunflower]

Who is Stephen Hopkins? What the hell? You just made that up didn't you?

lol

Hawking...
I suck ...ROFL
hahaha

Anyway, he called me back at 6pm, five hours after I called. He told me he hadn't finished work but we could meet up later tonight. I asked him whether he was busy, and if he was busy we could meet up later this week. He said ok let's meet up later this week....this is ridiculous, why did he ask me to spend time with him if he was busy....

[Sanctuary]

See! He likes you! Go get him girl!

And cut the guy some slack lol I think he's just really bad with girls due to his shyness.

[lilsunflower]

See! He likes you! Go get him girl!

And cut the guy some slack lol I think he's just really bad with girls due to his shyness.

really? I think for some reason he felt obligated to ask me out because I called, so as soon as I asked if he was busy he backed off. This has happened many times before, for example, he once called at 6pm, asked if I wanted to do something together, I said I had to be back at 9pm. Immediately he said we should hang out another day. Another time, he asked me if I wanted coffee, I said it was more like my dinner time, and he took it as a no automatically.
Who is forcing him to hang out with me?

[chump4u]

Who is forcing him to hang out with me?

.
Oh, come on now...you've given us a couple of pages of examples of ways you've "tested" him, put him off, played "guess what" with him, etc., etc. Hell, you were even down to making hang-up phone calls on the last page, just to see if he'd call you back.

You've done everything you could do to confuse him, and now you ask why he's so confusing? You've run the guy through a mincing-machine, now you're asking what's wrong with him?

[lilsunflower]

.
Oh, come on now...you've given us a couple of pages of examples of ways you've "tested" him, put him off, played "guess what" with him, etc., etc. Hell, you were even down to making hang-up phone calls on the last page, just to see if he'd call you back.

You've done everything you could do to confuse him, and now you ask why he's so confusing? You've run the guy through a mincing-machine, now you're asking what's wrong with him?

was I really mean? Sigh, I used to date a guy,who was younger, and shy, so I over looked many awkward details in our "relationship", it turned out he was just sexually curious. sigh

[Sanctuary]

really? I think for some reason he felt obligated to ask me out because I called, so as soon as I asked if he was busy he backed off. This has happened many times before, for example, he once called at 6pm, asked if I wanted to do something together, I said I had to be back at 9pm. Immediately he said we should hang out another day. Another time, he asked me if I wanted coffee, I said it was more like my dinner time, and he took it as a no automatically.

Don't you see he's reacting to you by simply agreeing with everything you say? Everytime you do something positive, he does something positive. Everytime you say something negative he reacts in a negative way. Not because he doesn't like you but because he's scared of doing the wrong thing.

Who is forcing him to hang out with me?

No one. It's called he likes you.


I've told you everything you need to know. And all you need to know is that you should give him more encouragement.

[lilsunflower]

Don't you see he's reacting to you by simply agreeing with everything you say? Everytime you do something positive, he does something positive. Everytime you say something negative he reacts in a negative way. Not because he doesn't like you but because he's scared of doing the wrong thing.



No one. It's called he likes you.


I've told you everything you need to know. And all you need to know is that you should give him more encouragement.

Thanks Sanctuary. You are one of the most amazing ppl I have met in life.

[chump4u]

was I really mean?

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No, I don't think you've been "mean," but I can certainly see how the guy might be a bit unsure how he's supposed to act. Damn, it's obvious he'd like to get a bit closer to you-- and he would if you'd just stop dodging.

Don't you see he's reacting to you by simply agreeing with everything you say? Everytime you do something positive, he does something positive. Everytime you say something negative he reacts in a negative way. Not because he doesn't like you but because he's scared of doing the wrong thing.

No one. It's called he likes you.

I've told you everything you need to know. And all you need to know is that you should give him more encouragement.[And all you need to do is to give him more encouragement]

.
Amen to Sanctuary's advice, especially with my little editorial added.

[lilsunflower]

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No, I don't think you've been "mean," but I can certainly see how the guy might be a bit unsure how he's supposed to act. Damn, it's obvious he'd like to get a bit closer to you-- and he would if you'd just stop dodging.

So next time he asks me out I should just shut up and go?

[Sanctuary]

So next time he asks me out I should just shut up and go?

Well instead of just making an excuse on why you can't go, say something like "no but I'm free Tuesday if you wanna hang out" with a smile in your voice.

[lilsunflower]

Well instead of just making an excuse on why you can't go, say something like "no but I'm free Tuesday if you wanna hang out" with a smile in your voice.

I will finish a big test on Sunday, I am thinking maybe I can invite him over to my apartment. We can play some stupid question game (to break the ice and learn more about each other. So far the conversation has not been going on well) and watch family guy or south park, and eat ice cream maybe?
I feel he is not creative about activities we do together so I've been thinking about inviting him to my apt but I was not sure because I don't mean to get physical with him. He seems to be a nice guy though....
Do you think it is too early?

[Sanctuary]

I don't think he would see it as an invitation to get physical seeing as how he's so shy.

Just try to have fun and let this relationship take it's course without trying to force it.

[lilsunflower]

I don't think he would see it as an invitation to get physical seeing as how he's so shy.

Just try to have fun and let this relationship take it's course without trying to force it.

I will borrow a projector and play a movie on my wall. =) Sounds like a fun idea huh~ I am eager to find out the real side of him so I will try my best and it will be my last attempt.
I will let you know what happens

Thank you Sanctuary

[ray2oo8]

remember me, i show you with my own case. and i am still in it. i don't think i will ever want to go back. it would be awkward. i now tell you my story from the very beginning, hope it will help you..

i met lancy the day iwent to my company for interview. it was so ncie meeting her on the street....
and the first day i went to work, one of my colleague told me that he liked lancy a lot. bla bla... and asked me for help..he was a very nice guy. so i said yes, i will help.

so i set them up several times for date, and they would call me to come with them, i droped my phone on my bed and went out to play basketball. but my heart is sinking into a cold world.

things didn't work out bewteen lancy and my friend..because lancy likes me, everyone can tell. and i like lancy too, people can tell too. i just don't want to admit it.

now my male friend found another girl since he knew he had no chance with lancy. and lancy was dating many guys, one by one, and on one was ok for her. once she told me that she would invite me for dinner if she found a good bf, since i have been so nice to her..

my dilemma is that i once told my friend that i would not compete with him for lancy when we were drinking beers.. so i don't want to broke my promise. and it would be awkward for me and lancy being together after what have happened bewteen lancy and my friend...


so i tell myself i will let lancy go this time, and next time if i met another one, i will not give in....

ironically, i made the same mistake over and over again. this is not the first time, but i hope it would be the last time. before lancy, i gave up many good ones because of the same reason...

but for my case, if lancy tell me directly, i would not hide. the truth is she didn't.. i guess both of us were waitting for each other to move forward...and both of us were disappointed...lancy kept hinting me, i kept waiting for her to do more.. how stuip was that...

that is my story. hope it will help you. remeber there are many kinds of men, and you don't understand your guy too. i would suggest you to understand him more, to know more before you give up or make any decision...you may miss this chance if you do