Why you say "I love you" and then disappear???

[sunnyangel]

So,... We were together for 4 months- not too long but still, seeing each other, spending lot of days/nights together in his place or in my. Started to talk about living together. He also told me he loves me (and i couldn't do the same).... Then there was a bad situation with my family(they live in different country) so i had to leave for a month. First weeks he called me every day and nothing seemed to be wrong till one day when he disappeared... For few days... I tried to call him- but both phones were switched off. I started to worry that somethings wrong. Called to his friend, they also work together, and he told me he is fine and closed the phone. So my point is- WTF??? If everything is ok and you start to talk about living together, say you love why you make a move like this??? I just cannot understand what happened. And i still didn't heard any explanation from him....

[Primo]

They were obviously just words to him. Seems like he either had an ex that he fell back in with or met someone else that took all of his attention away from you while you were gone. You said that you didn't feel love for him yet, which in this case is good. You wouldn't want a man in your life who wasn't even big enough to say goodbye anyway, right?

[sunnyangel]

I had the feeling that i start to fell in love with him but i wasn't ready to say it loud because i was not sure.
...Maybe there is an ex or a new girl but i don't understand why it is so hard to tell me?! I'm not a desperate woman who will keep him with any power I have just to have someone beside me. And all I asked for was an explanation. If you want to go- go, but at least tell me.... And I don't understand why you must say the words "I love you" if they are just words? And I didn't ask him for this...

[vashti]

You were only together 4 months... this is usually not long enough to sustain a relationship when one person is gone for a month, and obviously, that was the case for you. He probably just found another girl. Forget about him.

[Gribble]

Did you have sex with him? Some girls won't put out until you say those three meaningless words. Perhaps he just wanted to get laid.

[sunnyangel]

Did you have sex with him? Some girls won't put out until you say those three meaningless words. Perhaps he just wanted to get laid.

Yes we had sex and before he said those 3 words. So there is no connection between this, i think.

[Insa]

I feel he didn't really love you, you just make him satisfied after his choice, not a man of such men, I hope you also don't be sad, love ourselves

[Primo]

And I don't understand why you must say the words "I love you" if they are just words? And I didn't ask him for this...

It's called immaturity.

[sunnyangel]

It is hard for me to believe that 30 year old/young man can be so immature and that i didn't realize it earlier... Maybe thats why I'm looking for other reasons,...

[Primo]

I understand what you're saying, but don't waste too much of your time looking for the answer.

Some guys, some women have to say "I love you" to fu*k...it gets their dick hard, they're pussy wet. Some women have an orgasm just from the thought of, or talking about getting pregnant while fuc*ing...everything isn't always black 'n white, sometimes words can be just that.

[qwertz]

As they say.. 'actions speak louder than words' true in this case.

[curves222]

Oh, Sunnyangel! I am so, so, so sympathetic!!!! I don't understand at all why lots of men do things like this. I've had this kind of thing happen so many times to me, though on a smaller scale...(uh, and REAL recently if you go look up my post, lol).

I think some men are just such big losers that they would rather destroy us than face five minutes of an uncomfortable conversation. I'm totally with you! We're not fragile dolls...we can handle the disappointment...but don't leave us hanging! That is the WORST!!!!! And goes way completely beyond selfish.

You need to just write him off. I know you know that and I know it is hard.

Funny story, I had a guy I dated for two months stop calling me and wouldn't return my calls. Out of nowhere! Nothing negative at all had happened and he seemed just as crazy about me the last time we went out as he always had. I actually got an e-mail from him like THREE years later apologizing for what a jerk he had been! lol. Of course, I asked him why he did it. Even he couldn't tell me! lol. He just kept saying he didn't know, he was stupid. He finally hinted a little that he thinks he was starting to like me too much and had started to get scared.

Tell your ex (at least in your head) the same thing I told that guy...Your loss, buddy!

[frisbee]

We're not fragile dolls...we can handle the disappointment...but don't leave us hanging! That is the WORST!!!!! And goes way completely beyond selfish. . .

He just kept saying he didn't know, he was stupid. He finally hinted a little that he thinks he was starting to like me too much and had started to get scared.

I totally know what you mean! I had kinda a similar thing happen and he apologized like a month later and just said 'I dunno, I was really stupid and I'm sorry' nothing else. I don't think he knew what he did to me. I don't even know if he knew what he was apologizing for. I think they don't understand what leaves us hanging, and what that does to us. It's strange that it tears us up so much, but for them it's like nothing. But I guess that's how it goes with them, men. Stupidos. At least respect us enough to talk to us. Not just apologize once and it's all better. I actually don't think they think that will work either. I think they have guilt. Just a different way of dealing with it, like they go and find someone else, or they do something manly. It would feel good to know he's guilty, yeah?

but no, nothing, unfortunately.

[Primo]

Tough crowd !

[curves222]

Oh Primo! Some guys, certainly not all .

And you totally know it is true...but I understand it is against the "man code" to admit it publicly, lol.