Not really sure whats going on.. but I like it

[TheScareCrow]

My girlfriend(?) and I of about 6 months broke up just a few nights ago. And when I say "broke up" I'm basically saying we took the label of "boyfriend and girlfriend" away and let it become a bit more casual. We're calling each other best friends now. But it's more like "best friends who are madly in love, with benifits" though. We have decided to still not see other people, and we are both having sex. We are both 20 by the way.

So why did we "break up" in the first place? Well I honestly can't figure out the root of the problem but the past month has been a little something like this.. we would hang out every single day, watch tv for a few hours, complain a lot about our lives, and be bored and depressed. Before yesterday, we had had sex 1 time in the past month. So we both figured we needed to do something about it and we decided to "break up." So about 2 days later (yesterday) we decided we needed to talk more about the situation. We both laid everything we had both been feeling about each other and our relationship out on the table and analyzed and discussed literally everything. Then we had sex. Then we hung out again today.. had the best day ever.. and again had sex.

So I'm really not complaining AT ALL. But my worry is that we're both going to end up back in that crappy depressed boring sex-deprived state again. We are taking steps to better ourselves, and we have agreed to see each other less often. But I still worry we'll eventually be right back at that really bad spot between us.

Are there any suggestions I can get? I really hope I made sense in this. And hopefully somebody out there has some sort of similar experience because this is something completely new to me and I need some outside help in knowing how to handle it. Thankyou.

[Primo]

Newsflash, you're not broken up...

[FullofSighs]

Yeah i would say that is true primo. I think the only reason to remove try and remove the title gf/bf is to try and relieve some of the stress with having a bf/gf. But when you two talk, try not discussing both of your problems, Focus on either herself or yourself. That way you both are not bringing depressing thoughts into the room. Hope this helps you at all

[girl68]

Sounds like neither of you worked on it.

You both got super lazy and stopped trying.

Another newsflash: you have to keep things fun, light, interesting, sexy!

Tips: go out, make dates, movie nights, dinner outings, drinks, dancing, walking, sports, hobbies, activities, dress sexy, light candles, massage her, pamper her, show affection, text her sweet nothings, put a halloween (xmas, valentine, etc.) treat in her purse, buy her a favorite magazine.

All those little things go along way...

[TheScareCrow]

Well I know we're not broken up. And FullofSighs you hit the nail on the head with what you said, it does relieve a lot of pressure by not having the title of bf/gf.

And I feel like we did kind of try and work on it in a halfassed way. We would go to movies together and I'd by her ice cream when she was sick and little things like that but I can definitely see how we got lazy and stopped trying to have fun. I'm gonna take up your advice girl68 and try to do more romantic and fun things with her.

[FullofSighs]

Yeah, romance is always a great thing. Even acting silly can be romantic depending on how you do it. I would say almost anything you can think of can be turned romantic somehow, well anything good that is, if you just know how to do it.

[TheScareCrow]

I agree completely. I think being silly with each other is one of the most romantic things there is. Maybe not in the traditional sense, but just being able to laugh at/with each other is romantic for me.

[FullofSighs]

Yup. its also the easiest way to be romantic for me. Although having a mixture of romance is your best route. Just being silly will get old and the girl your with will grow tired of it and move on.

[TheScareCrow]

Haha. Well shit.

So tonight I started it off by dimming the lights and giving her a very romantic back massage and it obviously turned into sex. And afterwards we were probably the most silly we've ever been around each other. It was great. So that counts as a mixture of romance right?