Need to get to know eachother better

[Dilbert]

Hi everyone...

Thank you in advance for reading.

First of all I need to explain my situation a little.

Currently I'm living abroad in Japan and I've a girlfriend here. She lived abroad fro the last 7 years and just came home to Japan. I've been in Japan 1 year and 3 months. I had plans to return home after one year until I met my girlfriend 6 months ago.

Honestly deep down I know she's great but things are getting difficult lately. I feel the biggest cause is not having enough time spent with each other to really bond. We see each other about 1 time a week. Sometimes less. She doesn't seem to see a problem, although in the past she used to try to make an effort to meet more often.

Now shes saying she's not happy because she wants to get to know me better and the things I like to do. Living here presents many challenges.. One of which I'm not really sure what there is fun to do here. Back home I know tons of things, but here I'm a bit out of the loop.

I'm not happy because I'd like to see her more and to get to know her better as well. Her job is quite busy and is getting harder. Her leaving for work at 7a and getting home at 7:30p doesn't make things easier. So seeing each other more frequently isn't going to happen.

So is it possible to build a good relationship one day a week? I'm feeling like the answer to this question is maybe not, but I'm not willing to give up.

What can I do to maximize our time together? Any good date ideas? Honestly I'd like to just watch a movie at home and talk at the coffee shop afterwords, but it seems like I always have to do something to make the date special since it's only once a week...


Please help! I have to get things planned for Saturday.

[vashti]

What about a hike and a picnic? or a long bike ride? Or the two of you can have a cooking date. (Make something pretty and eat by candlelight.)

[MzConfused]

I'd say invite her over to yours, maybe cook her a meal or order something to eat. Get a movie to watch and just hang out. Sometimes one of the nicest things to do is just unwind with the person you care about most after a hard day.

You say she works late, that's not a problem. Give her a call and ask how her day was. If she's had a stressful day a friendly and comforting voice could be good to hear. Let her feel as though she can unload her day onto you, preferable over a meal.

As long as you do see each other sometimes should be good as long as you stay in contact. Phonecalls maybe? Even if you're only together for ten minutes and you take a walk somewhere, just that calm time should work.

Good luck and hope that helped.x

[IndiReloaded]

I was going to suggest cooking something together also. You can suggest a recipe, shop together for what you need, etc.

BTW, is she also helping plan your outings? You should be taking turns, unless its your job to entertain her.