Feeling a little betrayed

[Holdme]

Basically got with a girl who I was told fancied me, she lives away from the university i'm at but comes to visit her friend most weekends. We stayed in touch for the two weeks texting each other frequently seemed to get along just great. (for those of you who read my previous post this is the same girl - she is still a virgin)

So she comes up this weekend for haloween and everyone goes out, I talk to her a little but she seems a bit shy, having told me that she is shy about relationships and stuff like that, I give her her own space let her chat to everyone else just like on a normal night out. Each time I aproached her she seemed a bit on edge and would disapear after a short exchange of conversation. After this happening a number of times I started to get pissed off and just stopped trying. I bought her two drinks..

I asked her in a text if I could speak to her in private for a bit which got ignored and I couldn't talk to her on the way back because she pretty much hid behind another girl we came out with. My mate who was suposed to be helping stop people getting in the way ended up overly flirting with her when we got back from the club, but this is how he always is with girls and this is how he is with most of his girl friends. I admit i was a little jealous at this point. All three of us ended up sleeping in the same bed together.

Now luckily I have the common sense to know that she probably isn't interested in me anymore, and I don't plan on messaging her or speaking to her until she comes up in a weeks time. Now I just want to know if I have the right attitude to this... If she is having a good time with somebody else should I just leave it and be happy for my friend if anything comes of this? My house mates seem to think he's in the wrong but if she's suposedly not interested in me any more I don't see the harm in it.. or am I giving up too easily?

[IncognitoSir]

If your friend "overly flirted" with the girl YOU are interested in.....thats a big problem. The fact that this doesn't alarm you makes me think you may be somewhat of a push over. No girl is gonna be intersted in a push over man. I'de be pissed to hi hell if my friend was flirting with the girl i was intersted in all while knowing how much i was into the chick. If you're into this chick you need to let your buddy know this and he needs to back off until you can be sure she's into you, or not into you. Be assertive bro! If she's not giving you the time of day then I'de say thats a good sign to move on. Gluck man.

[Primo]

No you're not giving up too easily. Whatever chance you may have had doesn't appear to be on the radar anymore. Now that your 'friend' has moved in, is there any chance you can wash your hands of all these people?

[Holdme]

Yea i know it's a little bit c*ntish what he's done, but i knew he liked her aswell, and i think he was a little bit jealous. It's just a girl at the end of the day i'm sure another one will come along. I can easily get over this no problem.

I was getting abit fed up of putting myself out for her anyway because she's shy she wouldn't talk to me unless I talked to her etc making it hard to gauge if she was interested or not.. it's very confusing when u have her best friend telling you that we should get together but in my head i'm just seeing red lights.

About the pushover thing though... i think it's because i value my friendship with him more than getting a girl this isnt the first time he's done this though but last time I didn't want the girl so I wasnt that bothered.

For the mean time I'm just guna forget about it then when she's up at the weekend I expect the exact same thing is going to happen to my friend that happened to me if she is truely shy. It's just annoying because he's already said he wouldn't go out with her because of the distance but I would >> unless he was lying of corse and just trying to put me off.

[Primo]

It's just annoying because he's already said he wouldn't go out with her because of the distance but I would >> unless he was lying of corse and just trying to put me off.

He was lying. Real friends, true friends, are a rare breed Holdme...

[Bumble_bee]

this girl got smitten with your guy friends flirting......her attentoin got stolen away it seems to me......whats more worrying...is the bed sharing...whats up with that huh?

[Primo]

Just to follow up on a point that Incognito made, I'm not sure how you selected your screename, but for god's sake dont ever let this girl see it

[Holdme]

ahahaha yea i know my screen name is just .. so so lame, but I made it back when I was really in love with this girl when I was about 16 I had little to no experience in the dating world lol. Make's me sound like a complete wuss. Believe me i'd change it now if I could!

As for the bed sharing - we couldnt be arsed to get a taxi home so we stopped the night there. There we're origionally four of us, there was another girl, but she decided there wasnt enough room and went home lol. I wasn't guna pay for a taxi back by myself so I stayed and did some cock blocking of my own, although as with the time she stayed over at mine she expressed no intention of having sex.

I know if I really wanted to try I could get her attention back. In the mean time it's my birthday today and i'm just guna go out a hopefully get laid although I will be dressed as a pirate :/ this could be interesting. Back to having fun and not stressing over a girl

As for my mate idk, he's sound apart from when it comes to girls from my experience, not planning on falling out over this although we'll probably talk about it when we're drunk!

Thanks btw

[IndiReloaded]

Your 'friend' sucks. Maybe understandable if he didn't know you were into this gal. But not okay in this case. He should have kept his distance. Jerk.

[IndiReloaded]

ahahaha yea i know my screen name is just .. so so lame, but I made it back when I was really in love with this girl when I was about 16 I had little to no experience in the dating world lol. Make's me sound like a complete wuss. Believe me i'd change it now if I could!

Open a new account and stop using this one. Simple.

[Holdme]

Ah i never actually thought of doing that - i'll get on that at some point. Just a quick question.. do you think it's immature of her to ignore my request to speak to her about things?

[Holdme]

This just in, aparently she rejected my mate even though she told someone else she liked him. WTF is up with this girl? - awesome birthday by the way.

[Severed_Heart]

Honestly I would just drop the girl completely and see how she reacts. Shes ignoring you it seems, so just ignore her back. Don't text her anymore, just forget she exists, find another girl you like. If she does like you at all she will do something about it. Otherwise she will just continue being a wishy washy confused flake.

Either that or assert yourself in a more active way, just tell her you like her and she can either be with you now or you're out of the picture.

[Holdme]

Honestly I would just drop the girl completely and see how she reacts. Shes ignoring you it seems, so just ignore her back. Don't text her anymore, just forget she exists, find another girl you like.

One step ahead of you this is exactly what i'm doing. I'm not going to assert myself and tell her that I like her etc as I'm not willing to consider a relationship with somebody whos obviously immature in terms of dating. Everybody knows you'll do alot more damage to someone by being iffy then straight up telling them the truth. Heck that's why my last relationship failed because of poor communication.

I mean come on.. Ignoring somebody is very childish, it's what 16 year olds do - she wouldn't even be mature about it and talk to me when I asked. As far as i'm concerned i've put my cards on the table and unless her attitude changes they arn't guna stay there forever.

I forgot to mention this before, but when she came up I didn't go out the first night she was around even though I told her I probably would. I had a valid reason for not goin.. one of my old mates girlfriends commited suicide recently and it was playing on my mind, my I also think something may be wrong with my dad as he is acting very out of charecter.. he sounds a bit upset or down whenever I talk to him and he is making an effort to do things with the family more. This in combination with a full 9-6 day at university I didn't fancy going out as the alcohol would have just worsend my mood.

This is the ONLY time she has ever text me first she asked if I was ok and what I was doing when I was asleep. I apologised for not coming out and told her that I just wasn't feeling it that night, no need to get personal right. She said it was ok and said she had a good night etc. I went to the gym the next day to try and clear my mind which worked to some degree.

Do you think I have caused this mess? Even if I have my stance is still the same as I wouldn't be having to ask you guys your opinion on the situation if she had just communicated with me. Maybe she's scared I don't like her. idk. silly virgin. (sorry this is a bit of a vent post but feedback would still be appriciated!).