So what was the deal with this situation I got tangled up in?

[NoName101]

I met this girl at work. We became good friends for almost a year. She ws older than me. I was 21 she was about 33. I liked her but never told her. Til it was too late. She got pregnant by her ex boyfriend. When I told her she asked why I never told her before. I felt hurt because we were so close. We spent time together. I'd buy her things take her to dinner and we hugged. I told her everything I felt and she was saying "aww".
It was hard but I decided to still stay her close friend since her BF wasnt there for her. Appearently he was a prick. She asked me to please never change. And we're still the same. But later it just became more akward. I still treated her right and helped her out. Still. We both became quiet. She looked upset, and I looked upset. Either my mood upset her, or her mood upset me. Overall we didnt know what each other was thinking. She started feeling embarrased that people might be talking about her. She snapped on me once when rumors were going around that we had sex. She said alot of hurtful things about me and said she'd never F* me and the thought of it was disgusting. We didnt talk for weeks, It later cooled and I came back to the side she worked at. But didnt say anything. Her friend told me she wondered why I was quiet. I later talked to her and we worked things out. I decided to mind my own buisiness. Still stayed friends but werent as close as before. I was soon gonna leave to cali. One day she was crying. I didnt know why. She talked to me later that week. Her boyfriend left bruises on her. I was pissed. She said she was all alone. THe next day she needed money cuz her electricity was shut off. And she was crying. I decided to help her. I hugged her and said she isnt alone. And I gave her more money to help her with food cuz her food went bad. And she hugged me and said I was "her angel". The next week she smiled at me and was happy to see me. But knew I was leaving. She said it felt unreal.
I think this is where the real mistake happened.Prior to that, we decided that I'll always think of her like family. Like a sister cuz she was pregnant by someone else. But I still loved her. But I accepted it that way. I just wanted to help her. Anyway, she asked me what I though she would never ask. She asked if I wanted to have sex. I hesitated. I told her I never did it before. She acted all seductive. Walking away with a grin. Like lauring me. I said ok. She gave me the name of the motel and the time. We kissed and you know the rest.

After that she started changing. She stopped texting me back. She said it was nothing. I later left but my last day she started acting all afraid of people talking about her and me again. I left feeling confused. She never responded. I talked to a friend and said people said she was a user. But I didnt want to believe it. It was hard to believe. She said the text I sent my friend and she told me she read it and was upset. I apologized and sent her so many apologies and wondered why she never said anything to me since I left. I later found she was back with her ex boyfriend. After she told me so many things about him when I slept with her. And even showed me where he worked. One time she even mentioned going to his place while he was away, and "doing it" there. WHich weirded me out. I called her and she was mad and told me to never call her again.

But now I feel hurt and confused. IDK what to think anymore..She even got mad at her friend when her friend showed me the pictures to show how everyone was doing.

[RonHH]

Hey Noname, I think your a cool dude for doing what you have done for trying to help her.
Your confusion is not understanding where she is comming from. And I'd be hurt also but from what I see she is the confused one. You should feel good within your self for trying.
Hang in there. Do what you think is best for you.

[NoName101]

Hey Noname, I think your a cool dude for doing what you have done for trying to help her.
Your confusion is not understanding where she is comming from. And I'd be hurt also but from what I see she is the confused one. You should feel good within your self for trying.
Hang in there. Do what you think is best for you.

Trying. Hurts because she told me she'd always be there for me, that I'll never lose her.
I dont really go for older women, and thats why I was so hesitant to tell her how I felt. I was just alot younger and naive. She use to treat me really good. Smile at me, hug me whenever we said bye, and always asked me to go places with her. I feel so f*ed up because it felt perfect.

Weird thing though, when she slept with me, I asked what she thought of me. She said that she felt I was too young for her, like a kid.

[Chazza2k]

Hey Noname101,

You sound like an all round decent guy trying to do your best by her I'm sorry it didnt work out like you had hoped. When a friend becomes a lover the whole relationship changes especially if one person cares more than the other. Its not a nice feeling being used like that and ending up feeling massively hurt but in time you will get beyond it and learn from those experiences.

Falling in love does really blind you to the realities and its a great illusion to go along with but when it ends it does so sometimes with really hurtful realisations. You didn't do anything wrong, you were open and honest with her and did what you thought was right, I'd seriously question her motives in all of this and how much truth she was telling you and I find some of the things she said about you being so young were really cold. Its over between you now she asked you not to call and you really should respect that, Move on and focus on yourself right now.

There are plenty of good women out there and I sure you will meet the right one for you soon.

Goodluck.

[Bumble_bee]

Hey Noname, I think your a cool dude for doing what you have done for trying to help her.
Your confusion is not understanding where she is comming from. And I'd be hurt also but from what I see she is the confused one. You should feel good within your self for trying.
Hang in there. Do what you think is best for you.

whats cool about being a doormat?

[NoName101]

whats cool about being a doormat?

IDK what to think at this point. Cant bring myself to hate her. Because I have good memories. It's hard to really see her as a bad person..

[IndiReloaded]

A 33 year old woman doesn't do this kind of thing. You are young and vulnerable. This gal is taking advantage of you emotionally. Not saying she's a bad person, but she sounds like she's messed up. Run away.

[damn2008]

Sounds like she's using you...for money, for sex, and for attention she doesn't get that much any more. It gives her a "high" that a young 21 year old is after her. You need to realize she's using you buddy...step back from it all.

[crossxmyxheart]

Screw that! she used you! F*** that b****! dont call her back! tis a damn shame you wasted the money on her. i realize you wer only tryin to help, and youre a really good person, so dont waste time thinkin about her. if she tries callin you, pick up the fone and say you dont rmr her and tell her "stop callin freak!" She'll realize one day that shes the one that ****ed up. shes got nothin goin for her at all, a baby, an abusive boyfriend (not even a husband for being pregnant lulz), not enough money to pay her damn electric bill! thas when you know youre GG 4 lyf lawlz. so dont feel bad, i have somethin similar goin on right now (which is why i got on this shit, i just need an outlet, someplace where i can unload all this stuff).

[trisha]

forget about her...she's not worth your attention..she's a biatch...

[NoName101]

I did leave her a message. A few weeks ago.

I told her that I want her to be happy. I told her how she hurt me but I forgave her.
I said that she should be with who she loves but dont give in, and dont let him break her. To be smart about it and reminded her how I treated her.

I set it so it's recieved after her baby is born. I deleted her number, so I wont know if she listened or not. Deep inside I'm hoping she listens and understands.
The thing is, she was pregnant at 16, by someone my age. I cant forget. I feel like i could have helped her. Like I could have made a difference in her life..
She loved writing. I bought her a book. I told her she dont have to work in that place cleaning dirty instruments. And just get old like those old women at the workplace and have nothing better than to talk about other people.
I felt like maybe I could make her life better..