Extremely selfish

[Chika]

Hi, I'm living with my long term partner for 3 years.

He always put his needs before everything, He takes no time for me at all. He goes out with his friends and does things for his family but not for me.
Yes, we DO go out together but it is only with other friends or only when we go somewhere he really wants/needs to go.

He doesn't do any housework at all, either. That's me who does cooking, dishes, cleaning, washing.
His excuses? Busy. That's fair enough, he IS busy. He has a daily job in a office and does some freelancing as well. But he has time for going out with his mates.
I have just a part time job but also I am doing some unpaid job training thing as well. So I am busy too.
I think one of the main reasons why he thinks he doesn't have to the chores is he is making much more money than I am, therefore, paying much more for bills.


It really annoys me, so I have tried to talk to him about this so many times but he doesn't seem to understand that this is not fair at all.
Almost every time I tried, he got too upset to talk anything. No matter how hard and calmly I try to explain how I have been feeling about the situation, he refuses to understand it, he just said that's all he can give me and if I am not happy with that, it means there is just fundamental differences between us and there's no room for negotiation at all.
Once he got upset, it's really difficult to talk to him, He wont let me say anything, he just yells at me and often walks out of the room. He got sulky and usually stays so for a very long time like a few weeks.
( it doesn't take longer than 5 mins for him to get like that.)

It's been like this since soon after I started to live with him 3 years ago.
Now, I am really sick of this and it got to the point that I wonder what was the point to live with someone like him.
So I have no intention to stay together with him.

But I still want him to understand that he is a selfish prick and he has treated me like shit. If not, at least, I want to make him understand he has to help me with some house chores. How simple is that? but somehow I have failed....

Could anyone suggest what I can say to him and how?
thank you!

[Bumble_bee]

tell him hotel chika is now closed....seeee ya !

[Gigabitch]

Yeah. Nothing says "you're an asshole" like an empty bed.

[damn2008]

Did you see signs of him being selfish BEFORE you moved in together? That's usually a great indicator of how he will be when you move in.

[confused-kitty]

i too have this and if you do happen to ask for help with something you will be told you are a nag! it'll never change

[World Traveller]

There's no good explanation or solution or answer or verbal agility that will solve this.

A friend of mine dated a hockey playing Surrey Chiro (Chiropractic / Chiropractor) named Elke for many years. She seemed like a starr at first. As soon as their relationship got difficult, she became a lesbian and fell in love with a murual friend Melanie. Now he can't even see his former dog (a Border Collie - BC). He was a rookie at his sort of thing, so he didn't see the signs. That's how it goes, and nobody is to blame, though. Nothing to do but leave it all behind. No choice, no matter how you feel.

A couple years later, he's better off and in a much better place with better people, but the lies and stuff from multiple directions were very, very hard for him, at the time.

[Charlie Boy II]

If I was bringing in most of the money while you worked part-time, I'd expect you to do most of the housework as well.