Does anyone like "nice" girls?

[ANA15]

I'm starting to think there is something wrong with me because nice guys never like me.

I'm smart enough - I'm about to graduate college and go to grad school, I tutor special needs students, president of some clubs - and I'll admit that I could lose a little weight, but I try to work well with what I have and dress nice. I'm very honest and try to be nice to everyone. I'm very social and probably party too much. I don't gossip or put out...I've had people tell me that I'm the most virtuous person they know, which I think is a good thing because my values are important to me (but I'm not a prude or anything). I think I'm a nice girl - it's not that I'm conceited, just being a good and kind person is very important to me, so I try to be that way.

But the only guys that like me are losers, i.e. I have a record of ex-boyfriends who are emotionally abusive drug addicts with no ambition. I usually end up settling on a guy because he likes me and then I get hurt in the end. After my last relationship, I decided that I'd rather be alone than settle for whatever comes along.

The only problem is that nice guys don't like me. For example, there is a guy I like and we hang out rather often and he flirts with me; he always sits close to me, tries to impress me, I catch him staring at me from across the room, etc. So I went out on a limb and said something, but was rejected, the whole "You're really cool, but I want to be alone right now. I get hurt too easily and am still recovering" (it's been a while since his last relationship). I wish he could have just said "Sorry, I don't like you that way" - I think it would have been kinder than trying to be nice. On top of that, the past two girls he's "talked" with in the past few months have been complete skanks and he ended up ditching them for that reason.

Most of my friends are guys and they treat me like a guy (as much as is reasonable). They say that I'm one of the coolest girls they know, one of the most level-headed and reliable people they know, and they always come to me for advice and praise me for not being skanky or catty. However, no one ever wants to date me (I don't mean I want to date my friends, but every "nice" guy I get to know turns out to be like them!).

Any advice? It's really frustrating and is starting to make me feel really bad about myself because I see all these manipulative, attention-seeking girls with good guys, and the only guys I'm ever with don't respect me and they use me.

[RonHH]

Hi, and yes men like nice girls. I know there at the top of my list
Your the type of girl a guy is looking for when all else is said and done.
I'm not saying your at the bottom of the list , but some guys just want to party
and use a girl that doesn't mind being used. But when its all said and done and they
want the best wife and family They will be running to you.

[DoesntMatter]

Nice girls are the best

[swtbttrfly23]

Wow, I know exactly what you mean. This is like my own story completely, it's like you just stepped into my own life. You sound like a really amazing girl (just like me, LOL), and the only thing I can think that is wrong with you is that you think there might be something wrong with you. I used to feel really bad about this, but I've sort of grown out of the bad feelings. Here's the thing, there are lots of horrible people out there that have someone, and lots of of great people that are alone. Please don't feel bad because you're one of those great people who are alone. Someone once put it to me like this:

"Girls are like apples on a tree. The best apples are at the top, but sometimes (ok, a LOT of times) guys are afraid that they will fall and get hurt if they try to get the good apples, so they just settle on the apples that aren't as good, but are easier to get. So those good apples sometimes have to wait patiently for the guy that realizes you're worth the climb."

Please don't think there's something wrong with you, because there isn't. Just enjoy your life and freedom that being single allows you, and when it's truly right, it will happen.

[MDavis454]

Sounds like you know perfectly well that you deserve a good guy so you should just enjoy your time with friends and continue being yourself. You'll attract someone special. Not all guys are into good girls, but the right guys are

[Destaric]

I love nice girls...I want to meet one but it seems each one i connect with they seem to choose the asshole type guy lol Just have faith and dont settle for just anyone.

[YT4lyfe]

I was going to leave a comment

and then realized that it was rude and better not to

then i realized it answered your question completely

"pics please"

i read an article on AOL some time ago where married men were asked why they married their wife over the other women in their life. you know what a clear majority said? because they were nice.

so like ronhh said, it's just a matter of time. and i'm not just saying that. once guys are done being guys they'll come to you. but you should still find someone who, a couple of years ago wouldn't have picked the skanky blonde over you. meaning, a guy doesn't become nice overnight. if someone is suddenly nice, it might mean they want something from you.

[BoredGeorge]

Fat is bad lose weight no one likes a fat girl.
Putting out is important no one wants to date a girl who won't put out.

Nice girl is very good if you are not fat and you put out.

[ANA15]

Thanks for all the responses. I'm just so tired of hearing that I'm the type they'll want to marry some day because it doesn't really help me much now, especially as I'm getting older and so many of my friends have someone, are engaged, married, etc...Plus, like YT4lyfe said, if the guys choose the skanky girls over me now, why would I want them later? It's depressing, haha.

I didn't use the word fat, not because I'm in denial, but because I wouldn't describe myself as being fat. I could weigh 90 lbs and still think I need to lose weight - it's a girl thing. I catch guys checking me out all the time, but it's a turn off to me - just like being called hott instead of pretty or beautiful (guess I'm weird). And I meant that I don't sleep around - if a guy dates me for a while, maybe he'll get lucky. People place too little importance on intimacy, I think - I prefer to be in love with the person, then it's meaningful and almost spiritual.

[RonHH]

Ana, I do understand you need that someone now, we here are just giving our views on matters. I also know that someday seems like forever. Also there are alot of us that don't care about your weight, It's what we feel when we look into your eyes, or the warmth that you may give when you smile. You'll find what your looking for. ~ Ron ~

[MVPlaya]

and I'll admit that I could lose a little weight

How many pounds is "a little weight"? 10lb? 20lb? 40lb?

[RonHH]

How many pounds is "a little weight"? 10lb? 20lb? 40lb?

Then subtract the weight i'm over it may equal out to 0

[chump4u]

Any girl who is not hideously deformed, mentally or physically, has a huge selection of "nice guys" easily available to her. Any girl who is recognizably human attracts plenty of nice guys who want to make her acquaintance and who are interested in a possible relationship with her. All a girl of average intelligence, appearance, and personality needs do is to respond to these guys in a decent way, and she is free to take her choice.

So, if you are anything near the paragon of virtue and excellence you tell us you are, and you do not have a "nice guy" in your life, then, yes, there is something wrong with you.

Precisely what is wrong is a harder question, but it's probably to do with selective blindness that prevents you recognizing a nice guy when one tries to get to know you, and perhaps with unrealistic standards and expectations that cause you to jam the few nice guys you actually recognize into your "friends zone" collection of untouchables.

[georgeee2]

I didn't use the word fat, not because I'm in denial, but because I wouldn't describe myself as being fat. I could weigh 90 lbs and still think I need to lose weight - it's a girl thing.

No it's not, it's a confidence thing.

I catch guys checking me out all the time, but it's a turn off to me - just like being called hott instead of pretty or beautiful (guess I'm weird). And I meant that I don't sleep around - if a guy dates me for a while, maybe he'll get lucky. People place too little importance on intimacy, I think - I prefer to be in love with the person, then it's meaningful and almost spiritual.

So you like to play games with the person your dating because you want to be in control? You might think that it's "love" or whatever, but you treat sex like a treat to make your guy jump through hoops.

From the short bit you've written, it sounds like it's not your body you should be worried about, it's your personality. You may think you're the "nice girl", but you're not. And people (read=guys) can tell from the way you act in your daily life that you are most likely controlling, even if you do it with a smile on your face and without acting like a bitch. Which is why guys are friendly, but don't want to go out with you. No one likes being treated like a doormat.

And your statement about sleeping around. You seem so frightened to "lose control" or to get hurt by being spontaneious. You've never had a short passionate fling?

Learn to let go a little bit and things will look up.

[Graham Berkeley]

I like nice girls so long as they swallow...