Hi all, I am new to this site and I'm really in need of some advice. My situation is that I have been with my husband for 10 years (married for 3). He is a very considerate and loving man, we get on brilliantly and are best friends, he really is everything I could want in a husband. We have a lovely home, business and share the same goals, ideas and dreams for the future.
HOWEVER...8 months into our marriage he 'cheated' on me with someone from work, this involved several text msgs, flirting and he kissed her twice. It all came out and I was shocked to the core, he was confused for a week or two before coming to his senses and pleading for forgiveness, he was and still is mortified and ashamed of himself and has vowed to spend the rest of his life making it up to me. I decided to try to move on with him and the following year was very hard, I had many doubts about whether I could forgive him and I was hurting very badly.
He did everything possible to make me feel better and was patient with me when I got angry or upset, which seemed to go on for so long even I was getting sick of it. This was 2 years ago and we have got back on track and we have a great relationship now. I feel that by giving him a second chance I made the right decision as to throw everything away for some stupid mistake seemed ridiculous. It may sound like every other story but he is a loving man and he loves me so much. After everything came out he quit his job and worked with my father which must have been hard as obviously my family knew what happened. He now has a better job and we have been great, but now he wants children. I want children too (I'm 27) but I am terrified that the same will happen again but this time with kids in tow.
Basically I know men can be idiots but to know that my caring, intelligent, loving man can also be an idiot is very disconcerting. I dont distrust him in day to day life, I dont worry about him doing it again at this moment in time but I have this fear and this little voice inside my head that says he doesn't deserve for me to give him children, which I know is evil to think (i am very harsh really) but it is there nonetheless. Sometimes we sit and talk about our dreams for our children and I am so happy but then when I am alone just with my thoughts I think I am opening myself up to have my life destroyed as he may do it again in the future and I know I couldnt forgive again. I have told him all of this, he is very understanding and reassures me all the time but still I am unsure.
I would appreciate any advice and particularly if you have been through something similar. Please dont be harsh I know I have painted him to be almost saintlike but he really is an amazing man and I think sometimes- if I break it off with him, someone else will have an amazing husband and father who should have been with me. I almost wish I could fall pregnant accidentally so the decision is made and I could concentrate on my future - do you think this is indicative? Thank you for reading.