She wants to get pregnant by another man

[Retroys]

Hi people,

I recently have been finding myself in a very tough situation. My girlfriend and I both really want a child. She has PCOS which makes it more difficult but she has normal ovulations and should be able to conceive. However I recently got the news I dont have super sperm and in fact not very good at all. Obviously this it tough, I am having some more tests done as I have been ill and had an infection as well (which both I read can create low mortility and bad sperm, is that correct?), so hoping for the best.
Her conditions does so that she can stop ovulating at any time pretty much and she is dying to be a mum. I completely understand her whole situation.

She has considered if my sperm can improve and obviously we are working on that first. Then secondly we are looking at the possibility of laboraty (IVF procedure) but she pretty much already wrote that off. In regards to donor that she is apparently not really considering, she wants it the natural way is my understanding.

Here is the thing I love my girlfriend with all of my heart she loves me, but not enough is my impression otherwise what im about to write would not eve have to be on either of our minds. My girlfriend has a couple of previous partners and a friend who offered to help her if she really wanted to become pregnant. Now the thing is she wants to do this if my sperm cannot be used to get pregnant, as she almost with 98% security turned down possibility of IVF and sperm donor she is apparently not even considering. Instead its sex with a previous partner to get pregnant.

Look here is the thing I really want to do everything for her, but is it really so wrong of me to both understand her and still want to leave her if she goes through with that? I am confused and cannot make up my mind as I really do love her, but this I just cannot accept, plus I know for certain I want a child of my own otherwise my interest will not be there, and that I cannot share with her as I know she will not understand that, she tends to only understand her own situation.

Am I a bad person for wanting to leave her if she will go through with that? I really want her to have a child even if it cannot be with me, but I just dont feel I can be there, emotionally I think I would be lost after that.

I am really looking for some guidance here. Thanks for reading guys! Any kind of feedback on this is appreciated, I will explain more in details too if needed.

What goes on in her mind here? Anyone been in similar situation? Just anything here is appreciated.

[d_j]

Seems really strange to me. I would not stay with her if that is what she wanted. It's her choice, but I certainly wouldn't want to factor into that equation.

[NBT]

Well, first thing's first. Is your desire to leave her based on her wanting have a child with another man's SPERM (because it won't be YOURS) or is it HOW she wants to get pregnant (i.e. by ****ing another man) ?

SECONDLY, if she REFUSES to go ANY OTHER ROUTE besides HAVING SEX with this other guy, then it's quite possible that she's just looking for an excuse to f--k him. (Not saying she couldn't just cheat ANYWAY, if that were the case, but why NOT do the artificial thing?) If she wanted to actually please the BOTH of you, she'd COMPROMISE with the situation, by YES, getting PREGNANT, but not having to CHEAT on you to DO it.

lol @ that conversation:

"Baby, since your sperm won't do the trick, do you mind if I let Nick f**k me instead? It really won't mean anything. I promise. We'll just do it while you're at work."

lmao. No, dude.

[Junket]

Shit, why not?

You could get him to pay child support.

[Mish]

Now the thing is she wants to do this if my sperm cannot be used to get pregnant, as she almost with 98% security turned down possibility of IVF and sperm donor she is apparently not even considering. Instead its sex with a previous partner to get pregnant.

Did she give any reasons for that?

[CocoChanel]

Sex with a PREVIOUS partner. Absolutely not. It could get deeper, this previous partner wanting to father the child, not wanting to sign over his rights... etc. See where that could lead? She's nuts!!

Even if you donated your sperm to the bank and she was inseminated with YOUR sperm... is that not an option for you due to your condition?

[vashti]

I think you'd be crazy to consent to this. I think the normal route for someone in your position is that you and the donor mix sperm and have it implanted, and that way, you'll never know for certain that the baby isn't yours.

BTW - I think it is an extremely bad idea to consider having anyone either of you know act as a donor. Inappropriate attachments will follow.

[misombra]

does she expect you to raise this child?

[IndiReloaded]

Troll. What, did you just read 'The Smoke Jumper', or something?

[LIVERDETOX12]

Insane. I wouldn't stay around if that's what she wanted to do...

[Bumble_bee]

I could understand it if all other options were out, but they are not, and she seems to be missing the very important fact that you are BOTH going to be parents, and you should have a say in this as much she does.

You should sit down with her, and tell her that unless she is willing to consider IVF/Donor, then you are not wiling to consider her sleeping with one of her ex's/friends to help YOU and HER become parents.

all the best

[Junket]

I don't see why she couldn't get IVF'ed and then you can splurge in her right after.

She gets pregnant, and you get to bust a nut, it's a win-win!

[davidtorres]

leave her ass NOW. what a stupid excuse. Dont even try to understand it.

[bloodtippedrose]

her body is the fu(ked up one why should you have to suffer? She just wants to fu(k another guy thats it. And friends that are "willing to help." she must be hot. If I were you I would not get roped into this mess. Not only that but not ONCE did you say YOU wanted a baby or this baby. If someone is going to inseminate her, and youre not there emotionally, then youre not going to be there for the kid emotionally when its growing up either. And frankly I dont think you should be. Have you talked to her about how horrid this makes you feel? How about when shes knocked up 6 months in you tell her that shes not sexually attractive, so to satisfy your needs you have some friends that will help you out. see how it makes her feel.

Shit, why not?

You could get him to pay child support.

everything fras says cracks me up