Altercation at work

[Mish]

A couple of people in my department had a fight today. It was over one of the guy's slacking off, taking two hour lunches and so on. It's sad because all of them are my friends. I wanted to moderate it somehow, but in the end I decided not to get involved. I have a feeling this is not going to end well.

[tooxshort]

Physical or just words?

[CocoChanel]

Ugh that sucks. Are all of you guys friends with each other?
Or you do you have an individual friendship with each?

Staying out of it is a good option but maybe you should talk to the guy taking two hour lunch breaks. That's not fair at all.

[Mish]

Physical or just words?

Words, but some pretty heated exchanges

[Mish]

Ugh that sucks. Are all of you guys friends with each other?
Or you do you have an individual friendship with each?

Staying out of it is a good option but maybe you should talk to the guy taking two hour lunch breaks. That's not fair at all.

I've been out with all of them so I guess individual friendships.

I wanted to talk to him, but he just stormed out.

[CocoChanel]

Dang. Maybe it's best that he cool off first if you do choose to talk to him 1-on-1. People tend to feel attacked when they are being criticized by more than one person at the same time.

Do you plan on talking to him about it?

[misombra]

if you get involved you will be sorry for it.

[Aeradalia]

I have a tendency to get involved in arguments as I was tailored to be the family peacemaker. However, in the real world, I've learned that it's usually better to let people sort out their own problems rather than get involved (assuming it's not life-threatening or breaking the law). It seems that whenever you come between two people fighting they tend to join up and retaliate against you -- often times resuming the argument after they've disposed of you. So not only have you not changed anything, but you've gotten more than you bargained for.

Just let them be.

[misombra]

live and let die.

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JK2hKzZss5Y"]YouTube - Paul McCartney & WINGS - Live And Let Die[/ame]

what does it matter to you? when you got a job to do you gotta do it well.

[MVPlaya]

A couple of people in my department had a fight today. It was over one of the guy's slacking off, taking two hour lunches and so on. It's sad because all of them are my friends. I wanted to moderate it somehow, but in the end I decided not to get involved. I have a feeling this is not going to end well.

Getting involved won't fix it either. The guy has to step up to the plate and do his job. Not getting involved is the right move in a lot of these work altercations.

[IndiReloaded]

Mish, this is something that your team leader or supervisor needs to deal with. Let him/her know privately, and in confidence its disrupting the team. But don't get involved overtly, I agree with everyone on this point.

Please say your supe isn't the gal with no leadership ability. In this case, I would keep my mouth shut. Only b/c I'm not sure this woman has the ability to keep your disclosure private.

[Aeradalia]

If there is dissension among the ranks it's usually because the leader isn't doing their job. You have to let it play out on its own so that the "leader" can be replaced with someone who can do the job right. Unless they're going to pay you to be in charge, don't take the role.

[IndiReloaded]

Dalia, a good team will feel confident bringing issues like this out in the open. It could be this person on the extended lunches is having some personal problems or other issues. Maybe they need counselling. Could be lack enthusiasm for the project. I agree its a leader's problem, but not necessarily a lack of leadership. Not sure if that makes sense.

But, Mish, I don't think its wrong to point out to your supervisor there was 'a problem' today at work. Ideally, a manager catches the embers before they become fires, but its not always possible. Or they may be aware but their schedule hasn't allowed them to meet with the person yet. I'm experiencing this right now-- I know I need to deal with an issue I observed, but another group is currently sucking up my time. If I was told about something like what you observed tho, I would change my priorities to deal with the problem.

[Mish]

I feel a bit bad because I knew something was brewing, I just brushed it aside, I should've talked to him sooner. But then again, my other colleagues said they've spoken to him in private and he promised to change his "unreliability" so maybe it's one of those things that should just resolve on its own.

[IndiReloaded]

Okay the fact this has been a topic of discussion before puts this in a different category.

Some people need more hand-holding than others. You supe definitely needs to know there was a problem today. The issue is escalating and disrupting the work of others. Do you have a mediator at your company Mish? This would be appropriate.

Your supervisor needs to sit down with this person and invite them to suggest solutions to the problem. The solution needs to be agreed on, then implemented and tracked by the supervisor.

I use this series a lot in my job, Mish. Its well worth ordering, either through the company or for yourself:

[url]http://press.harvardbusiness.org/harvard-business-review-on-negotiation-and-conflict-resolution[/url]