hi im new and i need advice real badly!!!!!!

[babystunna19]

hi first off my name is jessica im a 19 year old female who found this website by flook and i thought it could really help me out!!!

so last year at this concert i was interduced to this really cute guy...i wont mention his name yet and things started out really good hes smart really hansome and i have never met anyone like him...that is i have never dated that much because my family was so stict so i moved out with him and we are living together.

ok my real question is this guy he has REAL anger problems like everything pissis him off and he always looks really angry and a lot of people are afraid of him he is 19 pretty built to strong body very protective of me but he has serious anger problems and all my friends and family ask me why im with this guy and are you still living wiht him?

i really care about the guy but its hard being seen with him and feeling safe he has been arrested and put in the drunk tank just about everytime we have gone to another show together he is an alcholic he always wants money from me so he can buy a six pack and more he always needs more alcohol until he passes out... i have woke him up iin his puke before and he doesent care. he has no friends nobody really likes him he has pulled knifes out on friends family destroyed peoples property and atacked pople and most people tell me they thing hes just "****ed" and that one day hes going to end up in jail
what do you guys thing i could write more about him?

[ProudPatriot]

WOW, Please sweetheart. Get out NOW. This is a very bad situation that can get worse FAST. Are you afraid of him and has he ever became angry with you?? Do you both work? It seems like you are an intelligent young girl. I DONT think you are in love with this guy but because your family was strict on you, you are kind of rebelling. And I definitly understand where you are coming from with that. At this point I believe you are afraid to be alone now so you dont want to leave this guy.
Make a list. What benefits do you have with being with this guy? What negetives are there with being with this guy? This may show you if this guy is right for you.
You are young, do you really see yourself being with this guy for the rest of your life??

[babystunna19]

hi and thanks well thats why i needed advice cause most of my friends now dont talk to me anymore about anything related they just avoid him and none of them want to come over anymore because there afraid of him and his anger, yes he has thrown me to the ground once and threatend to kill me and my sister for no reason once when he was drunk on his birthday....but he has apoligizzed so many times and i feel really safe around him when we go out all his friends respect him. but like i said i have never even seen a man like him if you met him you might understand he is an amazing talented artist and has given me a tattoo of a black flower with a skull head in the centre on my back. but back to does he work....no he gets fired at all his jobs for drinking and swearing at pople he currently is in a speacial kind of school where he is on student finace he is atempting to finish his grade 10 and join the army...i really love the guy he has confest his love to me and he hasent dranking in two months and things have been great.

[ProudPatriot]

Well now Im kinda lost because in this post your kinda contradicting your original post. If everything is fine and great now then kuddos but I would still watch out. Usually if someone is a severe alcoholic, they relapse. I am a very upfront woman and if a man laid his hands on me ONCE he would not be walking and I definitly would not still be with him. It only takes ONE out of control moment to ruin ones life so why put yourself in a situation that would increase that chance of happening.
I think if several other people are concerned about you being with him then it says something. No one should be afraid of one individual person. Thats just weird.
I just dont see ANY benefits of you being with this guy? Your a young woman and should be getting pampered by your boyfriend, not him draining money from you for a 6 pack of beer??
I know everyone has positive moments in their life but if its more negetive coming from them then positive, why make your own life more stressful with putting up with it.
I know I am being very direct and honest but I truely feel from what you are saying that you really need to sit back and rethink everything. Your family should be the MOST important thing to you in your life and if your family doesnt get along with your significant other then it literally comes down to choosing one over the other and I HOPE that you choose your family.
Please stay safe and let me know what your feelings are about what I just said.

[AdminOnline]

What you want from a person is not just about their look...

Focus and tell yourself what you think of his personality & character. Does those make your life & day brighter than before?

Think about it.

The final decision is yours.. not us to make.

[babystunna19]

yeah i never have meet a person with his "PERSONALITY OR CHARACTER" so you tell me how im supposed to tell if at the end of the day was his destructive violent behavior worth it...or should i be with the ether twenty boring lame typical fit ins that you meet everywhere. no he has a energy about him i know i speak well about him but he has a dark side that im trying to find out about peoples outside opinions matter most right now.

[youaremysong]

does he mean that much to you? you are willing to leave your friends behind for him? he has severe anger management issues. KNIVES on friends? who the hell does that??? I suggest you get out of that relationship not because next time, he's gonna hurt you. That' I'm sure.

[babystunna19]

okay im sorry about the confusing part there have been conflicts in the two months like he lied to me about his drinking he was at his buddys place then smashed some of his property and now he owes him money. that was a week ago but he told me about it and we evend it. i know i should lising to my family but they dont know him like i do he has a really big hart secretly.he hides hit from people because hes afraid people wont think hes manly or whatever and i talked to his mother and he had a really bad childhood HIS father was abusive and was killed in toronto his mother was a severe alcoholic and drug attic and drank and did drugs when she was pregnet with him...so i can understand why he hates the world so much im just concerend about him he means the world to me im sorry but its diffrent when you cant help your feelings for somone and they cry to you and tell you about how there life is worthless and they should just kill themself..please is there a specific kind of he is that you have been with a guy like him before and is there a website then i can go to?

[babystunna19]

and i have not left my friends they dont come over and dont like him. that is all they dont have to like him im a grown up now and i can take care of myself i told my father off the ether day for telling me tony is a piece of shit and tony has told my father to his face that he can pretty much shuve it i dont get along with there boyfriends who all just use them for sex dumb hoez

[ProudPatriot]

I have had a VERY difficult childhood also, which I am not going to go into with a stranger but I believe that when someone grows up, they have the power to become whoever they want and when they blame their lifestyle on their own behavior its a sympothy reaction. I would google a specific term relating to your boyfriend like "How to live with a alcoholic" or "what to do if your in a phyical relationship" or "my boyfriend has anger problems"....see if there are post or stories of others who have had similar problems.
I HAVE had a boyfriend who had threatened to commit suicide if I ever left him, my response was, "ok, well then this relationship needs to end now" and guess what, he didnt kill himself. Sometimes people will go to great lengths to get attention.
It's just scaring me that you sound desperite to get answers to what you should do.....

[thrillaveza]

no seriously, i think you should leave this guy. just saying. i had a friend who was in the same situation. her bf is an abusive ass who is also manipulative (making it feel like he's innocent) and he knocked her down a couple of times as well as yell at her all the time. she told me about most nights with him she'd run home crying. he started to get pissed off at her bff as well as the rest of her friends. he never trusted her once she went off to college. one time a friend from her school (a guy btw) was going to drop her off from her dorm to her house and fortunately he spotted the car she was in and he cut them off in the middle of an intersection. they got out and he beat the dude up in the middle of the street. she eventually filed a restraining order and hasn't seen him since.
i still feel that she's stupid for being with that guy but yet it helped her become wiser.

let me tell you this. no guy is worth a damn if they treat you like shit. he seems like such a doucheturd and also he can lead you to worst things. trust your friends, if they don't agree with someone you seeing it's best to take their advice. people like him and the guy my friend was with deserve to be put away. just leave this guy, if worst comes from this call the police and file a restraining order or something.

[AdminOnline]

let me tell you this. no guy is worth a damn if they treat you like shit. he seems like such a doucheturd and also he can lead you to worst things. trust your friends, if they don't agree with someone you seeing it's best to take their advice. people like him and the guy my friend was with deserve to be put away. just leave this guy, if worst comes from this call the police and file a restraining order or something.

concur. good post.

[thrillaveza]

oh let me add this. it wont be hard for you to find someone who will like you and treat you even better.

[babystunna19]

holy shit that sounds just like my boyfriend. he is really peranoid and has punched out men at bars for talking to me he is really controlling of what i do all the time he does that make me feel inocent i never had a dad or mom thing to!
gulp guy sounds dangerous now that i know you have heard similar stories to him.....
i have lived a VERY sheltered live and had no idea of what i have gotin myself into. ill just tell him this isent working and i need some space for a while or should i just leave?

[babystunna19]

thank you soooo much for all your help best of luck for you all at finding somone