He wants to meet after breaking up 4 months ago. HELP and ADVICE PLEASE!!

[LizWil]

Hi guys,

For those of you familiar with my story i heard from my ex last week and he wants to meet. For those who dont know my story - just briefyl, my ex and i were together for 2.5years. Very loving and supportive relationship but we wanted different things for our futures. I want to get married and have kids, he doesnt think he wants to.

Now, over the past 4 months i have heard from him every now and then basically along the lines of him saying he loves and misses me more than he could have imagined but we just cant be together. Every time this has happened i have told him i dont want to hear from him at all because it hurts and i need to move on if we arent to be together. But he kept contacting me.

Now a week ago i hear from him. He asked if i was happy and he said he hadnt been happy for the past 4 months. He misses his best friend (me). He loves me so much. He doesnt know what the right or wrong thing to do is but could he see me and maybe go on a date. He is having trouble living without me in his life, he thinks the break could be a bad thing that could turn positive. That he would view this in a positive light and as moving forward. Just meet up and talk ands see what happens.

We spoke on Sunday for an hour - just general chit chat about our lives, he said he misses me very much and really enjoyed talking to me and he wants to talk face to face, not discuss things over the phone.
We spoke again last night and now we are going for dinner on Saturday. He said he didnt have anything planned he wanted to say in specific, but he wanted to see me and talk, hang out and see what happens from there.

What advice and suggestions do you all have on handelling a possible reconsiliation? What to do and what not to do / say? How do i handle this?
Im really hoping this works out for the best. He knows my views havent changed and for him to be coming back, im hoping the last 4 months have made him realise what is important in life..

Thanks for reading my long post and all advice and suggestions are much appreciated!
x

[Enigmos]

you can't force someone to want to be married or want to have a kid. doing so will just result in a disaster later on down the line. you two should sit down and figure out if you could come to some compromise, though the kid thing is not something that can be compromised (you either have them or you don't).

good luck.

[jackyd232]

I'm glad to hear things might be working out for you!

I'm not sure specifically what advice you're looking for but it does look like you both want to be back together. Keep your emotions under control. Don't let him know your answer to getting back together from the first minute he sees you.

If you want it to work again you need to start slow. None of this "oh ok we're back together" stuff. If you don't talk about and fix the problems that broke you up first it won't work. Keep this first meeting light, fun and enjoy each others company. It sounds like he has some stuff to day, so let him say it.

[ms sunshine]

Agree with jackyd232, sometimes things don't work out right away. And maybe he has changed his mind about life. But take it easy, don't get into it until you feel things feel right.