This is HUGE - Need Help asap.

[WhoKnows?]

Ok - Check it out. Long story...but it's worth the read. Need some help.

New to the forums. I'm a dude...with lots of good friends. One of these friends has a GF...that moved out here to live and be with him while he goes to school.

This past summer, he went away, me and her started hanging out...I thought NOTHING of it...we were great friends..always drank/hung out while he was around/not around. Since it was summer..not too many people were around so we were loners together..it was great...did tons of stuff together..blah blah blah. One night we were at the bars..ended up...I had to take care of her..she drank a little too much. Took a taxi home (my house)...wasn't uncommon for her to sleep on one of my couches...or vise versa. She crashes on my couch...I go to sleep in my bed. It is early morning hours she wakes up to use the bathroom I guess...and cruises into my bed...I think nothing of it...delirious and still drunk. Couple hours pass...I wake up to her on top of me...kissing me..I immediately put an end to it..she has a bf and all...that I know. Awkward..but she agrees.

This happens a few more times that night..just a little weirded out in the morning...we talk and both agree that it was crazy..unacceptable..etc. We hang out almost everyday for the next week...and basically the same stuff happens on a daily/nightly basis...Around the 3rd night or so..I kind of let my guard down and kiss her back (I know, I know..I'm a dick and could have prevented it...but I liked it for some reason).

I had an amazing week with her....but then leave for home before school starts up again. During this time her bf comes home...they fight and argue, basically she was telling me that she wasn't really into him any longer...and that she couldn't stop thinking about me.

Earlier in the summer another buddy and I had all planned to go on a road trip back home with them (her and her bf). I wanted to pull out of this trip...but was persuaded by both of them not to (her and her bf). I went on the trip...and they broke up the first night we were there...because of the "feelings" she had for me. This was a mind trip for me...but I didn't say anything because I liked her. We spent every last day together on that trip...met her parents/friends...got along/loved them. We ended up having sex on the trip for the first time...which turned out later to be the cause of her pregnancy.

When we got back...we secretly dated..she was now staying at my house at nights...while her ex bf thought nothing of it because he trusted me as a friend that I wouldn't do anything with his ex...I guess he thought they were trying to work things out. We had sex almost everyday...went on dates...went out...had an amazimg time..shared so much with each other. Rumors began to circle with my roomates/other friends. Everyone was accepting of me and her because he was a dick..to them I guess. No one said anything to him.

All of this time (3 months or so) that this was a secret, I thought it was her ex bfs right to know about everything. She said it wasn't the right timing. Two days ago...she broke some news to him that we had kissed a couple times in the past few days. He went wild...death threats...threatening to stab me...kick her ass. Crazy. This was, however, a start to letting him know about everything...but not the whole truth. I suggested she let him know when she was ready. All of this created a little Rockiness between her and I...so I told her I would pull out for a bit while she figured everything out.

Not sure what happened after that but she ended up telling him everything....about how we hooked up while they were dating...her abortion...etc. Now, she wont talk to me...he wont talk to me. Kind of stuck in a shitty situation.

Bottomline. I'm into this girl more than anything...and would do whatever it takes to make her happy. I hate seeing her like this...she's telling me to never talk to her again..leave her alone...I can accept that..if that's what she wants and what will make her happy. After all that is what it is all about right? her happiness.

This was last night...who knows what he is planning..she is staying at one of her girlfriends houses here.

What can I do? Should I do? Feel I am being pretty lame just walking away from it all. I def do NOT want to walk away from her...we have had amazing times together, just last week she said she loved me. I also feel horribly guilty...for doing that to a friend. Awefull...and I would never wish that on anyone given the situation.

Please...be blunt about your responses...I want to know. I need to know...if there is anything I can do? Shouldn't do?

Thank you all.

-Whoknows?

[lostinconfusion]

you let the ball drop during a critical time, how can oyu expect her to trust you again? yes it's a crazy situation that you BOTH created, but when things got too messy you decided to "pull out for a bit"??? are you kidding me? you let her down big time. i don't approve of cheating, but shit does happen, and this girl threw her relationship away to be with you and you betrayed her trust when she needed oyu most. ANYWAYS, think long and hard how much you REALLY like her and if you are gonna go back and try to make things work then this time oyu have to follow through, not run away when things get tough. so if oyu do decide to get her back you have convince she can trust you. apologize for letting her down, beg she puts her trust back into you. now even if she agrees to come back it will take some time for her to really trust you again and you might have to pay for your actions for a while. be ready for that and prove to her big time that you are there for her, and NEVER EVER EVER again back out when things get rough!!!!

[Primo]

Don't beat yourself up over everything first off. Their relationship would've ended with or without you, bottom line.

Did you do what was wrong? Yes. But you're human, we all are. We can't control who we fall in love with and if someone we're attracted to keeps coming onto us strong physically, the instinct in us takes over.

As for your current situation, it's hard. Try to be patient, give her space and let her contact you when she's ready. She will.

[WhoKnows?]

Well...I think im gonna give her her space really. Nothing I can do...told her this morning that I'm here for her if she needs anything...I guess late last night after she told her ex everything..she started to binge drink....I feel awefull. Told her if she needed anything to let me know.

Should I get her parents involved? or would that skrew things up even more?

-Whoknows?

[WhoKnows?]

god...I rly cant stop thinking about all of this. Driving me nuts!

[Primo]

Should I get her parents involved?

Definitely not.

If she's drinking, she's drinking, she's dealing with it in her own way, you can't tell her how to do that. Just be patient, do something to take your mind off the situation for awhile.

[Cbrider]

Lets start off with a little clairification here. You're a tool and she's a slut. Now that we have that out of the way, lets look at this.

You think you are some noble jackass for feeling the need to tell your friend about what is going on THREE months into this whole shitshow. Bravo, I mean really, gold star.

You completely stabbed your friend in the back, to the highest tier short of maybe getting on his girl if they were married.

Sure they would have broke up in time, but it doesn't by any stretch of the imagination make what you did any less disgusting. He flew off the hook, making death threats and such is a little out of control but not surprising given what happened.

I would probably break your ****ing neck, but that's just me.

Forget the girl, she's no trophy and given all that has happened, you're in the best spot you could be in after all the bullshit.

Walk away.

[fmlx]

Lets start off with a little clairification here. You're a tool and she's a slut. Now that we have that out of the way, lets look at this.

You think you are some noble jackass for feeling the need to tell your friend about what is going on THREE months into this whole shitshow. Bravo, I mean really, gold star.

You completely stabbed your friend in the back, to the highest tier short of maybe getting on his girl if they were married.

Sure they would have broke up in time, but it doesn't by any stretch of the imagination make what you did any less disgusting. He flew off the hook, making death threats and such is a little out of control but not surprising given what happened.

I would probably break your ****ing neck, but that's just me.

Forget the girl, she's no trophy and given all that has happened, you're in the best spot you could be in after all the bullshit.

Walk away.

totally agree.

i also dont believe that bullshit about you never saw it coming. you knew in the back of your mind what was happening and you let it happen.

total dick move. surprised your "friend" hasnt set you on fire yet.


shes a whore anyway. you really think she wont do to you what she did to your friend?

learn from this.

[chump4u]

When he says "You're a Tool and she's a slut." He has the "slut" part right, but you're an asshole, not a "tool." You knew exactly what you were doing to your friend through this whole sordid business, and you kept right on doing it. Asshole.

Damn, if I had been your friend there wouldn't have been any threats of violence when you told me that you'd been screwing me over. There would have been violence without any warning threats. And it would have been justified violence; you richly deserve it. So does the slut.

What can I do? Should I do? Feel I am being pretty lame just walking away from it all. I def do NOT want to walk away from her...we have had amazing times together, just last week she said she loved me. I also feel horribly guilty...for doing that to a friend. Awefull...and I would never wish that on anyone given the situation.

Please...be blunt about your responses...I want to know. I need to know...if there is anything I can do? Shouldn't do?

All you can "do" is to learn from what you've done. Recognize that you are a disgusting bastard who cannot be trusted to be around decent human beings, and make whatever pitiful and probably fruitless efforts you can to change that about yourself.

As far as the girl goes, no, don't walk away from her. As long as you keep her under control, there's one cheating bitch fewer out there screwing over guys like your friend. There's no doubt that she'll cheat on you, too, but you deserve it, and at least until she finds her next Bad Boy
she can keep your dick wet for you. (This is assuming that she hasn't already found him...do you know who she's screwing at this moment?) Thought not)

[WhoKnows?]

Well,

Had a loooonnng 4 hour talk with her. I'm def a tool/idiot/dbag...I don't deserve shit. Horrible situation...Will she recover?..yes...but not for a loongg time. Only time can heal this sort of thing. I hope the best for her and her ex.

But..can I learn something from all of this?...Yes. Don't F*ck with friends gf's...no matter the temptation. I'm such an idiot. Lost a lot of good people through this whole thing.

I never wish this upon anyone......emotionally spent at the moment. Can't deal with this shit anymore.

-Whoknows?