i sorta cheated on my fiancee

[monkeylover3]

hi, im not sure what the heck to do at this point... my fiancee and i have been together for about a year, been engaged for about 3 or so months.. our parents have NO idea we're even dating which makes it kinda frustrating anyways, but still. i love him so much, i wouldnt trade him for the world, we have our problems, who doesnt? problem is, this is my SECCOND fiancee, my ex and i were 2gether for almost 2 years, when he left me, i lost myself, i still have few feelings for him, my fiancee, he does not like this... almost a month ago, maybe more, we were having some problems, always arguing about something, i found interest in someone and hung out with him, JUST AS FRIENDS. he tried to kiss me a few times, it didnt happen, then my fiancee and i "took a break" i went out with the other guy a few times, allowed him to kiss my cheek ONLY, then my fiancee and i worked things out, and the dating the other guy ended. well, about a week after, i went to go shoot pool with my friend (other guy) and afterwards we walked for a while and talked a lot, and then when he brought me back home, he said goodnight and he asked if it was ok to kiss me, i without thinking, told him yes, and so he kissed my cheek, nothing else, and he left. the morning after, i felt horrible! i had my fiancee call me, and i was completely honest with him. he said hed have to think about things, and then he decided he wasnt going to leave me. now we have problems all the time when it comes down to trusting. i talk to people online, guy friends, he has a problem with it. then he brings up my past. its so agravating, we argue all the time about this, i dont know what to do. we're sposed to get our marrige license in a few months, and then married (ceremony) this coming summer. HELP!! am i the problem? what do i do?

[Mish]

Although you should've cut the other guy out completely after you went back to your fiancé, it still sounds like your fiancé is over reacting a bit. It might be a good idea to talk to him about the trust issues.

How old are the two of you?

[bloodtippedrose]

you shouldnt be engaged if theres trust issues involved. And you shouldnt have accepted a proposal if you still have feelings for someone else.

[girl68]

my fiancee and i have been together for about a year, been engaged for about 3 or so months.. our parents have NO idea we're even dating which makes it kinda frustrating

Here's the first problem: after dating a mere 9 months you're engaged- that's way to soon considering the rest of your story.
Second problem your family doesn't know!? Let me guess it's because they wouldn't agree or approve.

i still have few feelings for him, my fiancee, he does not like this...

Umm you shouldn't be committed to marry someone when you're not over the last!

i found interest in someone and hung out with him, JUST AS FRIENDS.

You never had intentions of JUST FRIENDS with this guy. You liked him on a deeper level than friendship. You enjoyed his attention, and loved being desired by him. And do you realize what you just did? You ran to the affection of another man just because you were having problems. That's not committment.

i went out with the other guy a few times, allowed him to kiss my cheek ONLY, then my fiancee and i worked things out, and the dating the other guy ended. well

Point proven- he was never "just a friend".

he said goodnight and he asked if it was ok to kiss me, i without thinking, told him yes, and so he kissed my cheek, nothing else, and he left. the morning after, i felt horrible!

We all have bad judgment, but you proceed to PUT YOURSELF IN COMPRAMISING POSITIONS. You KNOW you're going to get in trouble but you tell yourself that you won't and you go for it. Then you do something shitty and feel bad about it instantly but you still proceed to get yourself into situations that are going to get you in trouble!

now we have problems all the time when it comes down to trusting. i talk to people online, guy friends, he has a problem with it.

Okay now you're just being stupid. OF COURSE he has trust issues. OF COURSE he doesn't want you chatting up other guys, online. You've betrayed his trust and continue to do so by "friendly" (flirty) chatting with other guys'. How would that make YOU feel. If he made out with some chick- confesses, and then goes online to chat to cute, random, flirty little girls online? Bad? Untrusting? Mad? Hurt? All of the above... Obviously.

am i the problem? what do i do?

You are the problem, and so is he.

YOU DO NOT GET MARRIED FOR A LONG TIME. (if ever).

How old are you?

[Gigabitch]

you shouldnt be engaged if theres trust issues involved. And you shouldnt have accepted a proposal if you still have feelings for someone else.

Exactly. This easy math equation should help:

Cheating + Fiancee = Breakup.

That is all.

[loudrims_inc]

i dont blame him for having trust issues!

[RepeatingShot]

I don't blame him at ALL for having trust issues.

He should dump you, since you obviously have NO IDEA what you really want in life. You don't even know who you are yet. You are confused, and going from person to person. You aren't sure if you love your current fiance, or if you still want to be with your ex, or if you like the new guy.

Do him a favor, and break off the engagement. You don't have to break up. It's more like a "demotion"... you know, like instead of being engaged, you now go back to exclusive dating status. You aren't ready.

[Linli]

Am I the only one who didn't realise that a kiss on the cheek was cheating? I mean, I know the circumstances are pretty questionable... but hopefully that is the only reason that this is even an issue. My grandma kisses me on the cheek.

[BoredGeorge]

My friends GF cheated and he said that they got back together but he did her up the ass HARD. Maybe you should apply the same principle to your relationship ?

[loudrims_inc]

i dont blame him for having trust issues!

i never said it was cheating BUT im still sticking with my original statement above

[Cbrider]

You dated 9 months and got engaged.

You have hid your relationship from your parents.

Granted I don't have all the details, I think I may have found a source of some problems.

You didn't cheat, but you might want to be more aware of the company you keep. You had the recipe for disaster in your hands, temptation was there whether you admit it or not. You can only pull the trigger so many times before there is one in the chamber.

[loudrims_inc]

some more antique expressions for u:

"Think before u act"

[Illusional]

i'll be honest, if you were your current fiancee.. i'd slap you and then slap you again just for fun. just imagine things is he did this to you.

raverboy

[Gribble]

He kissed your cheek not once, but TWICE!? Inexcusable.

You should be ashamed of yourself. Call the whole thing off.

[speakerspoke]

Five bucks says the marriage happens, lasts just long enough for her to pump out a kid or two and then she marries again. lmao