Obstacles - When is it worth it?

[Leith1812]

About one year ago a friend introduced me to her sister. The chemistry was instant but she was in a committed relationship so I had no intention of getting very close. Within the last two months she has broken up with her boyfriend and I have seen her nearly every day since. She was a professional athlete who has since retired and is focused explicitly on training; I'm an athlete in training and use the same facilities she uses to conduct her sessions. We've been talking at length, have become very close and I'm feeling quite confident with the direction our friendship is going.

That's the present situation but you will need some back story.

My family is a collection of eccentric individuals and they have made for a very interesting story. For example, my mother is a full blown schizophrenic with a rampant drug addiction, a tendency to self harm, an MD and a genius level IQ. My other immediate relatives all suffer from similar types of psychological afflictions. Since normality is a bit of a mystery to me, my relationships have always been fleeting, half hazard and never with anyone my own age. The youngest woman I have ever dated was 3 years older and that was during my teenage years. Age just isn’t a factor in my equation, and heck it’s been 4 years since I’ve even celebrated a birthday!

She’s an older woman (1979, I’m 1984) who comes from what seems a very normal family. She has no kids, believes strongly in marriage, has lived much of her life abroad, has a positive outlook, a close family, very religious (Christian), a sense of humor and in my eyes, extremely attractive. So here I am, for the first time, feeling extraordinarily attached to a woman who inspires me to be a better person. Someone who I am genuinely interested in, who I don’t feel the need to protect myself from, but now I feel compelled to protect her; feelings which keep me from allowing her to get close.

-While she knows my situation isn’t simple, she has no idea how abnormal and potentially dangerous my family can be. This unfortunate reality has always frightened off friends and colleagues alike.

-While I’m not a very religious person, I’m a very spiritual person, and our beliefs are much inline. But while I’m always open to exploring other spiritual mediums, I’m worried that her level of dedication to the church, in the long term, could become a huge hurdle.

I apologize for the length of my post and have tried to keep it as concise as possible. I may have cut corners in a few of my explanations, so if something does not make sense feel free to ask me to elaborate

[jayne]

Every woman loves to feel protected by her man but you fear protecting her in case she gets to close to you.

Why not take your lady for a Long drive and tell her you fears, explain that you fear the dangers you family may pose. A good friend will understand you as you understand her.
Drive to the best view you can find and take a picnic with you, when you get out of the car change the subject after all most guys don't like to feel so vunerble, driving will keep you emotions in check as you will be concertrating on the road ahead. At the picnic you can talk about the food, atheltics, films and on the way back thank her for listening. However if you feel there are some area you do not wish to explore just say so, you could start with "I just want you to know how I feel, I don't want to seem distant to you but I don't want to talk about that." She'll understand.